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POV

EnglishFella

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I know this may sound like a very basic question but I've been struggling with it. I typically write in first person past tense as I feel it's more personal. My question is, if I'm having a conversation should it be written with both of their dialogs in quotation marks or just hers and then telling the reader what the main character (her father) said or how he felt? After all, if he's telling the story in person to someone he wouldn't say the lines as written. For example if he was telling you what his first reply was he would say something along the lines of:

'I told her that I was fine and that I was just getting her dirty laundry. I called her Petal; she liked being called that and several other terms of endearment I used.'

"You okay daddy?" she asked.


"Yes Petal, daddy's fine, I replied, "I was just getting your dirty laundry." She liked being called petal; it was one of several terms of endearment I used


"You want me to help? I can you know. I can sort for you."


"Thanks but I think I can manage." She was a good daughter, always willing to help around the house and I was grateful for that.


"Kay. I'm going outside to swim."


"Okay."


 

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I know this may sound like a very basic question but I've been struggling with it. I typically write in first person past tense as I feel it's more personal. My question is, if I'm having a conversation should it be written with both of their dialogs in quotation marks or just hers and then telling the reader what the main character (her father) said or how he felt? After all, if he's telling the story in person to someone he wouldn't say the lines as written. For example if he was telling you what his first reply was he would say something along the lines of:

'I told her that I was fine and that I was just getting her dirty laundry. I called her Petal; she liked being called that and several other terms of endearment I used.'

"You okay daddy?" she asked.


"Yes Petal, daddy's fine, I replied, "I was just getting your dirty laundry." She liked being called petal; it was one of several terms of endearment I used


"You want me to help? I can you know. I can sort for you."


"Thanks but I think I can manage." She was a good daughter, always willing to help around the house and I was grateful for that.


"Kay. I'm going outside to swim."


"Okay."



I'm not sure I understand the question on its specific connection to pov, but I think you're asking whether or not it's better to summarize/tell the contents dialog (present what was said as indirect dialog), or whether it's better to use direct dialog that shows what was said as an actual back and forth exchange.

The answer is that it really depends on how important it is for the reader to see what said as a scene, or exactly as it happened in "real" story time, vs it being summarized by the narrator so the reader knows the gist. The rules aren't any different from what they'd be in limited third. It's more about what you want to emphasize during an exchange.

If you haven't read many first-person novels, do so to see the different ways authors can handle these things. First person is rarely written as an exact duplicate of the way people "really" tell stories when they share them verbally with someone in a casual situation. They're attempting to immerse the reader in events, actions, and interactions as they unfolded, but as with every other "telling vs showing" issue, the writer has to decide what's important and interesting enough to write exactly as it happens, in detail.

It's also possible to give dialog as a mix of direct dialog and indirect dialog. For instance:

"When do you want me to pick you up Saturday?" I asked.

"Well, um..." She wouldn't meet my eyes. "About that. There's been a complication."

This was starting to give me a bad feeling. "What kind of complication?" My voice cracked in spite of my effort to keep it smooth and light.

It took me several more minutes to wrangle the truth out of her, but evidently there'd been some kind of misunderstanding. She'd "forgotten" that she'd already promised another friend she'd go with him, so she and I wouldn't be going to the dance together after all. It wasn't personal, she insisted, and she felt really bad. I couldn't get past the feeling, though, that she'd only agreed to go out with me because she didn't think the guy she really liked would ask her.

"I'm really sorry," she said for about the fifth time.

"Yeah, whatever." I muttered something else I don't remember and tried to saunter off as if I didn't feel like the world's biggest dork.
 
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EnglishFella

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That clarifies the issue for me. I tried it writing as the character was telling a friend and it felt a bit stilted what with all the I told her, I said, I mentioned. With using dialog I can drop the he/she said if there are only two characters exchanging dialog.
Alan
 

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That clarifies the issue for me. I tried it writing as the character was telling a friend and it felt a bit stilted what with all the I told her, I said, I mentioned. With using dialog I can drop the he/she said if there are only two characters exchanging dialog.
Alan

You can certainly limit it. Even with just two speakers, it's probably a good idea to tag every few lines, at least, if you don't have action attributions or some other way of making it clear who is speaking.

This is a place where it's really handy to go to your bookshelves (or e-reader) and crack some books with an eye to seeing how different writers do these things. When we read for pleasure, we tend to not notice the mechanics, but it can be handy as a writer to examine published novels more carefully for technique tips.