Writing relationships that occurred BEFORE the start of the novel?

HaHs · Sep 12, 2017

Hi all,

In my current fantasy WIP project there is a romantic relationship that occurred four years before the story takes place. It's a romantic relationship that came to an end - one of those summer romances that is always set to end when the weather changes - that the main character (let's call her Molly) no longer dwells on, since the last 4 years have been super hectic and she's had more important things to think about than a summer love. Of course the old love interest (let's call him Terry) returns in this novel providing conflict for Molly - Terry is still rather invested in the idea of them as a couple whereas Molly struggles to believe in their romance due to the fact that their break-up was very shortly proceeded by the death of a close family member, therefore the 'happy times' of the relationship are overshadowed by the grief that followed it.

In my head I completely understand how their relationship functioned before and what role I want it to play in the story this time around (spoiler alert: they don't end up together. Not even close) and I enjoy the conflict it provides for Molly in more ways than one as the story progresses. The relationship between the two isn't currently an integral part of the main antagonist-related conflict of the story but it does provide an arc for Molly's social conflict and personal growth, so I'm eager to keep the storyline in. I'm also quite fond of stories that doesn't allow the first male that the main character interacts with to be her one true love who she ends up with inevitably in the end, so it's fun for me to poke at the idea of a romance that I as a writer know isn't going to work out. As I've already stated, Molly lost someone important to her shortly after their break-up, and the loss of that family member is the main inner conflict Molly's character learns to deal with, so having Terry around reminding her of that confusing time in her life is something I quite enjoy.

But I'd really appreciate hearing your thoughts or advice on how to write a romantic relationship between two people that already has so much history to it when the novel starts. I don't want to info-dump a thousand fond-and-not-so-fond memories of their time together four years ago, though at the same time there is a lot of significance to the 'before' element of it all and I'm not sure how best to weave it in. How do you demonstrate and justify emotions that haven't mattered for four years? Do you hate being given a relationship to invest in when you aren't given it from start to finish? Do you like not having to put up with the lovey-dovey stuff and get straight to the conflict and messiness of it all? Any advice?

Many thanks,

HaHs.

P.S - Molly is 21 and Terry is 23 - the initial relationship occurred when Molly was 17 and Terry was 19, so they've had some good time pass since.

Also I think I posted this in the correct forum but if I didn't then I apologise!

lizmonster · Sep 12, 2017

HaHs said:
But I'd really appreciate hearing your thoughts or advice on how to write a romantic relationship between two people that already has so much history to it when the novel starts. I don't want to info-dump a thousand fond-and-not-so-fond memories of their time together four years ago, though at the same time there is a lot of significance to the 'before' element of it all and I'm not sure how best to weave it in. How do you demonstrate and justify emotions that haven't mattered for four years?

Write the present. Have their reactions to each other show us what the past was like, and how much of it they're still carrying. Include details of that past only when they're relevant to the current storyline. Do not waste words telling us a backstory that's only there to give weight and color to the present.

Readers are also human beings who have led lives, and if you write your characters properly, your readers' imaginations will cheerfully fill in any blanks. IMO, for this sort of thing it's always better to err on the side of not enough detail.

Also, four years isn't a huge amount of time, but maybe it is in your fantasy world.

BethS · Sep 12, 2017

HaHs said:
But I'd really appreciate hearing your thoughts or advice on how to write a romantic relationship between two people that already has so much history to it when the novel starts. I don't want to info-dump a thousand fond-and-not-so-fond memories of their time together four years ago, though at the same time there is a lot of significance to the 'before' element of it all and I'm not sure how best to weave it in. How do you demonstrate and justify emotions that haven't mattered for four years? Do you hate being given a relationship to invest in when you aren't given it from start to finish? Do you like not having to put up with the lovey-dovey stuff and get straight to the conflict and messiness of it all? Any advice?

Author Sherry Thomas writes books with that set-up (although in hers, the couple do end up together). Try reading Private Arrangements or Delicious, two that stood out for me.

Harlequin · Sep 12, 2017

No need to infodump--just be sure those past decisions affect how they behave. Same as with everything.

JES0428 · Sep 12, 2017

As a reader, sometimes I like to fill in the blanks a little on a character's past. This could be one of those story lines that keep readers interested as you slowly reveal more about their past together, not all at once.

MaeZe · Sep 12, 2017

HaHs said:
Hi all,

In my current fantasy WIP project there is a romantic relationship that occurred four years before the story takes place. It's a romantic relationship that came to an end - one of those summer romances that is always set to end when the weather changes - that the main character (let's call her Molly) no longer dwells on, since the last 4 years have been super hectic and she's had more important things to think about than a summer love. Of course the old love interest (let's call him Terry) returns in this novel providing conflict for Molly - Terry is still rather invested in the idea of them as a couple whereas Molly struggles to believe in their romance due to the fact that their break-up was very shortly proceeded by the death of a close family member, therefore the 'happy times' of the relationship are overshadowed by the grief that followed it.

In my head I completely understand how their relationship functioned before and what role I want it to play in the story this time around (spoiler alert: they don't end up together. Not even close) and I enjoy the conflict it provides for Molly in more ways than one as the story progresses. The relationship between the two isn't currently an integral part of the main antagonist-related conflict of the story but it does provide an arc for Molly's social conflict and personal growth, so I'm eager to keep the storyline in. I'm also quite fond of stories that doesn't allow the first male that the main character interacts with to be her one true love who she ends up with inevitably in the end, so it's fun for me to poke at the idea of a romance that I as a writer know isn't going to work out. As I've already stated, Molly lost someone important to her shortly after their break-up, and the loss of that family member is the main inner conflict Molly's character learns to deal with, so having Terry around reminding her of that confusing time in her life is something I quite enjoy.

But I'd really appreciate hearing your thoughts or advice on how to write a romantic relationship between two people that already has so much history to it when the novel starts. I don't want to info-dump a thousand fond-and-not-so-fond memories of their time together four years ago, though at the same time there is a lot of significance to the 'before' element of it all and I'm not sure how best to weave it in. How do you demonstrate and justify emotions that haven't mattered for four years? Do you hate being given a relationship to invest in when you aren't given it from start to finish? Do you like not having to put up with the lovey-dovey stuff and get straight to the conflict and messiness of it all? Any advice? ...

Classic story writer. You have all these details in your head, all this back story. The first thing we think is that the readers need all this back story as well. You do, but they don't.

Let all this history impact your current story, that's what makes a story rich. But don't think the readers need to know your characters' lives the way you, the writer, know them. Reveal the history as it might be revealed with the characters acting like they would meeting up again after four years.

Lakey · Sep 12, 2017

Sarah Waters is really, really good at peeling back the onion to reveal backstory. In both Affinity and The Paying Guests, the protagonist has a once-hot, now-defunct romance that continues to affect her life and decisions. And in both cases Waters also shows enough of the other parties to the relationships (they are also characters in the stories) that you can see how they have moved on with their lives, and why they stay friends despite the end of the respective love affairs. Waters reveals all of this quite gradually. And as JES0428 says, it's a really terrific way to build interest in the characters and their lives.

Curlz · Sep 12, 2017

HaHs said:
How do you demonstrate and justify emotions that haven't mattered for four years?

That's entirely a matter of writing skills. It has little to do with how much of the story is described on the page. There is a popular thing called "two sentence stories" where the whole story is exactly two sentences long but contains both back story and current conflict. For example: "For sale: baby shoes. Never worn." makes lots of people sad because it makes them imagine the story of a couple who wanted children very much but then the baby died and they are so poor they can't even afford to keep a memento. None of that is actually present in the story but the two available sentences manage to put that in people's imagination. Now imagine the same story being told full length: there was once a couple who met in a diner, courted for a year, married in Tahiti, the bride wore orchid wreaths and every body drank champagne... are you bored yet?... they moved to New York, she worked as an accountant, they went to the cinema every Thursday and had romantic picnics in Central Park... are you still reading? It's getting a bit boring, isn't it. All those details show how the couple worked on their relationship and how good their romance was, but it's difficult to both include those things in the story and keep the reader entertained. Some writers do it well, some fail. You could definitely include all the previous events and emotions, and show how much they mattered, as long as you keep the reader interested enough to read on.

HaHs said:
Do you hate being given a relationship to invest in when you aren't given it from start to finish? Do you like not having to put up with the lovey-dovey stuff and get straight to the conflict and messiness of it all?

Showing the relationship from start to finish can be done in two sentences or in ten chapters. The amount of lovey-dovey stuff vs conflict and messiness would depend on the type of book you want to write. If you want to explore how a relationship changes, then you can show it from start to finish in all detail. If your book is about two people who are in conflict, then the past can be hinted at as much as needed to reveal the characters motivations. Those would be two different books and both can be very enjoyable reads if done well.

Al X. · Sep 12, 2017

The other thing you can do is devote the first chapter (or better yet a prologue) about that relationship set in the past, date it (relatively or absolutely) and then start again at the present day in the next (or first) chapter.

I typically do this with my action adventure novels. There will be a gripping prologue set in some specific time period where some related event occurs that is key to the story.

HaHs · Sep 13, 2017

Thank you everyone for your input! This has really given me some stuff to think about. I feel reassured knowing that audiences like filling in blanks and it's totally acceptable to only show the 'here and now' of the relationship, trusting that the way the characters interact gives them enough to pull the pieces together (and by "trusting" I mean "making sure"!). Particular thank you's to BethS and Lakey for recommending authors whose work might be able to give me some ideas for this - I'll add them straight into my TBR.

Thanks all!

Stijn Hommes · Sep 13, 2017

What does the reader really need to know about the relationship? Anything else doesn't have to be said. Let the reader fill in the blanks and only mention those things that your characters would say or remember in a particular situation.

HaHs · Oct 9, 2017

Hello everyone - I re-wrote the scene that introduces this pre-existing relationship conflict and have posted it on SYW for critique on the interaction between the two characters. If you were interested in taking a look or leaving feedback, it's here - http://absolutewrite.com/forums/sho...oughts-on-interaction&p=10275612#post10275612. You can find out what Molly and Terry are really called!

I don't think I've broken any rules by posting this but I have I apologise, please make me aware and I will delete this post accordingly.

cmhbob · Oct 9, 2017

One other possibility:

Write the backstory as a short story, and send it out to your newsletter subscribers.

JDlugosz · Oct 9, 2017

I have something similar in my outline, although it's a winter romance.

In a word, Foreshadowing.

Main character (MC) relates an interesting happy event from that time, and reflects how it was a painful memory because everything associated with the relationship is tainted, but now (in a new good relationship) all that's open to him again and he can enjoy the good memories. Out loud, some (current) chars just know that it didn't end well, others just implicitly know that it must have ended.

Another time, what MC was doing at that age comes up in conversation (during a party game).

In short, the people close to MC already know disconnected fragments without realizing they are interrelated. When MC runs into her again present day, all his ideas of what he should say go out the window and it ends up being more dramatic than expected. Once she is brought into the circle of the present-day characters, the full story comes out. But it is not out-of-the-blue for the reader. We should get a feeling of knowing something about it already, a union of what was reveled to each character over time. Furthermore, the reader is intrigued and wants to find out the detail now, so it's not an intrusive info-dump.

Eilyfe · Oct 9, 2017

Off the cuff I would try to keep the navel-gazing about emotions regarding Terry to a minimum if he's not an integral part yet; instead, should those characters meet, the dialog should give the reader the understanding that there's a shared history between them. Stretching those moments out over the course of the book and giving small cues should, best case scenario, lead to a complete picture at the end without overwhelming the reader by too much information.

In the specific case of Molly/Terry (as far as I can read it from your brief summary), it seems as though the fact that Terry reminds her of a dead relative is the most important one, so if that is the start of her character progression it should come quite early in the story. While all the fluffy details about how their relationship ended and whatnot can take a backseat.

Caveat: romance (or not) of that kind in stories really isn't my forte, so I approached it as I would worldbuilding: gradual, trying to give much depth with little exposition, i.e. action and dialog.

Edit: I took a look at your chapter in SYW; there are more concrete details in that thread.

Writing relationships that occurred BEFORE the start of the novel?

HaHs

lizmonster

Possibly A Mermaid Queen

BethS

Harlequin

Eat books, not brains!

JES0428

MaeZe

Lakey

professional dilettante

Curlz

cutsie-pie

Al X.

HaHs

Stijn Hommes

Know what you write...

HaHs

cmhbob

Did...did I do that?

JDlugosz

Eilyfe