Children and marriage?

Palki

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Hi, I am in the process of writing a book for children aged 9+. However, one of the theme of my book is marriage between the two characters (they are of age don't worry!) and I was just curious to know whether this theme is appropriate for children?

A) Is it too harsh to expect a child to read a book which has marriage as one of the main theme?
B) Will they enjoy reading about a married couple being the main characters of the book?
C) I haven't included inappropriate scenes such as sex but things like dowry plays a prominent part. Will a child be able to understand this concept or is it too serious for a young mind?
D) Would parents want their children to read about dowry and marriage?
 

cornflake

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Hi, I am in the process of writing a book for children aged 9+. However, one of the theme of my book is marriage between the two characters (they are of age don't worry!) and I was just curious to know whether this theme is appropriate for children?

A) Is it too harsh to expect a child to read a book which has marriage as one of the main theme?
B) Will they enjoy reading about a married couple being the main characters of the book?
C) I haven't included inappropriate scenes such as sex but things like dowry plays a prominent part. Will a child be able to understand this concept or is it too serious for a young mind?
D) Would parents want their children to read about dowry and marriage?

Most children's books (ok, kind of all children's books) feature children as the main characters. I don't know why marriage would be harsh, but it's just weird. Kids want to read about kids doing kid things (or sometimes doing adult-ish things, but that's a specific take, like a kid detective, or a kid genius fighting the space monsters), not adults doing adult things.

In addition, many books for younger children have an overarching point, or moral, though usually not overt -- they show you can be yourself, or being honest is good, or that bullying is wrong, or whatever. What in the world would the point of a book about a dowry and marriage be?
 
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Palki

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I totally understand where you are coming from and agree with you as well. The thing is that marriage is a tool in my book which I use to bring about a moral that I personally think is very important. I think about the classics like Cinderella where the character is an adult who ends up marrying a prince. If you watched the latest film version then dowry was mentioned near the end yet the story of Cinderella is much cherished by children everywhere.
I am worried that this theme will come across as weird but I honestly cannot change it as it is the triggering factor. I think I should change my writing to suit YA maybe? But I am confident that children would enjoy reading the story which is why I'm pretty bummed to be honest because its true, marriage and dowry may seem out of place in a children's book.
 

Anna Iguana

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Around here, the best answer to "is my book too _____?" questions from new members is usually: be patient, do some reading around here, engage with other authors about their work in the Share Your Work forum, and then--after you reach fifty substantive posts--post an excerpt from your piece.

One reason this advice is often offered is that the answer to "is my book too _____ for genre/category _____?" is usually, "No, ______ is fine, as long as you do it well." Our speculation about your manuscript, unseen, may not be helpful.

(That said, my impression is that everything cornflake said is, in general, correct.)
 

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Moving thread. Please keep your hands and feet inside the thread while it's in motion. Thank you.
 

mccardey

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Hi, I am in the process of writing a book for children aged 9+. However, one of the theme of my book is marriage between the two characters (they are of age don't worry!) and I was just curious to know whether this theme is appropriate for children?
As said above, it all depends in the execution. But I disagree (gently) with the Cornflake. A book for kids that deals with dowry and marriage might be very appropriate - especially kids who come from a world where marriage and dowry belonged or still belong to recent traditions, and especially also for kids who are outward-looking and curious about that world. As Anna said, we can't know till we've seen it. Stick around, Palki, make friends, read the stickies, and when you're able (after 50 substantive posts) think about posting an excerpt or two up, and asking for input on what we've seen.

Good luck with it! And welcome to AW.
 
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grandma2isaac

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I loved history books when I was a kid (after dirt but before dinosaurs :Shrug:.
Most of the kids history books dealt with adults and dowry was something discussed regarding marriage in those books...
 

cornflake

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I totally understand where you are coming from and agree with you as well. The thing is that marriage is a tool in my book which I use to bring about a moral that I personally think is very important. I think about the classics like Cinderella where the character is an adult who ends up marrying a prince. If you watched the latest film version then dowry was mentioned near the end yet the story of Cinderella is much cherished by children everywhere.
I am worried that this theme will come across as weird but I honestly cannot change it as it is the triggering factor. I think I should change my writing to suit YA maybe? But I am confident that children would enjoy reading the story which is why I'm pretty bummed to be honest because its true, marriage and dowry may seem out of place in a children's book.

What Anna said --anything is possible but... children's books are about children, because children want to read about children.

In a general sense, writing a book to talk about a moral isn't the best plan. It can come across as peachy, or as obvious, though as above, everything is in the execution.

However, it's rarely ever a good idea to use outliers as justification or comparison. Cinderella isn't a small child, but she's not an adult -- she's a minor at home with a stepparent and sisters, which is relatable. Also, and more to the point, it's a like 400-year-old fairy tale. They're rarely of use when thinking about what's marketable today, even if they're still popular.

I'd be like going to the head of a record company and explaining you've got three hours of harpsicord music, which should sell, because Bach's is popular. Not the same thing, even if Bach is still popular today, if you see what I mean.
 

mccardey

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In a general sense, writing a book to talk about a moral isn't the best plan.
This is very true.

My first book was aimed at a 10-12 readership, and it dealt with the grief following the stillbirth of a sibling - although the grief and the loss weren't mentioned until the last pages. Ostensibly, it was a funny and exciting road-trip kind of adventure: a girl running away from boarding school. It did very well, and kids and teachers loved it - but the letters I got from readers were almost entirely from kids who had lost either a sibling, a friend or a parent*. They found the theme of the story quite easily. It wasn't preached - it was barely mentioned - but it was there and they found it and responded.

Children in general don't appreciate being Told Things. They like to Find Things Out.


* (I don't mean to suggest I was deluged with fan mail - I think I got half a dozen letters in total.)
 

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It would be helpful to know a bit more about your book than just the theme. Like if this is a book told from the POV of a kid observing her parents' marriage, or maybe she's been asked to be a flower girl so is at all these events, or maybe it's her older sister who has a dowry or . . . something. All of that could work for a middle grade book (which is what age range you are writing for). But if the POV is anyone older you either need to age it up to YA + or age it down to be a picture book. MG is a very particular kind of market, and it is a market for and about kids first and foremost. Not adults. (The one exception being anthropomorphized animals).

So can you tell us a bit more about the story? Who is the main character? What's the plot etc?

(also I so agree about morals in children's books, be very very careful with those. This is when "show don't tell" has never been more important)
 

DancingMaenid

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I have a hard time imagining that many parents would object to their kids being exposed to marriage in fiction. I mean, many kids have parents who are married to each other, and marriage typically isn't associated solely with sex. Tons of children's books have married characters, whether it's the main characters' parents, other adults in the story, etc.

Now, I do agree with cornflake that children's books usually aim to have child characters and deal with plots and themes that children can relate to. There are some exceptions, such as fairy tales, stories based on folk tales, and some types of picture books. But I do think that a story that's primarily about a couple adults getting married likely wouldn't have a huge appeal for kids unless the book was tackled from a child's POV (like, there are books where a child is adjusting to their single/divorced parent getting married, and books about kids attending weddings).
 

HistoryLvr

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I like the flower girl idea suggested above. That's what I was thinking as I was reading earlier posts.

There's another idea that you might like, but it might totally work since I don't know all the details of your MS. Could you make your main character an older child, maybe 14 (young enough that I think 10 yos would be interested) who is getting married in a society where that is a totally acceptable age, such as Medieval England or many native cultures? You needn't change the base of your story--the marriage and dowry--but if the girl is a "young" 14, I think plenty of younger kids would be interested and find that relatable.

You'd have to work it just right so not too many people complain that you're touting child marriage. It would have to fit the time period perfectly and be big on historical accuracy so you can say "but at this time, 14 year olds got married all the time."

Think Juliet. She's young and getting married, and it's not super weird because that's when people got married back then. Puberty.

Just something for you to think about. Good luck!
 

Davy The First

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My main concern is that you ask "Will they enjoy reading about a married couple being the main characters of the book?"
and then in a second post suggest it might be more YA than MG.

As others have said, an MG story is about MG's doing MG stuff. Sure the peripheral can have, well ,anything really going on. But as 'main characters'?
Nope, imo. That's YA minimum.
 
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MaryLennox

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I think one of the main questions I have is what is the setting? Is it a fantasy book in a world where marrying young is considered normal (like in fairy tales)? Are they royalty with an arranged marriage? Is it an historical fiction where marrying young or arranged marriages were more common? Or does it take place in a country where that still happens today and you are writing a book about that?

I think kids would be interested in learning about what other kids' lives are like in other places of the world or in other times in history. I was, when I was a kid. And I have to say - kid-me would be intrigued by a book that contained an adult-like theme such as marriage, especially if it was a glimpse into another world that actually existed.

Donna Jo Napoli is a writer who has books that deal with more mature subject matter, and for some reason they are often in the Junior section at the library I go to. They're usually quite short and simple to read. The junior section is basically MG books and there's a separate section for YA. Although, many of her books are fairy tale re-tellings or historical novels.