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Thread: Thoughts on this passage

  1. #1
    Always lost in thought. semolinaro's Avatar
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    Thoughts on this passage

    While not quite poetry, I wrote a passage about my passage for the humanities and why I study it. Do you find it readable and understandable?

    I am a human. A carbon unit of flesh, blood and bone. But what makes me human is none of the former, but rather my ability to think and perceive. And with this gift of thought, I study humanity itself.


    My reasons for doing so are not always understood. I do not study the humanities to be the breadwinner of the house, and I do not expect the humanities to give me life on a silver platter. Rather, I study the humanities to better understand my place in an ever changing world. To expand my mind and experience the essence of the human spirit. Through the wisdom of words, the symbolism of paint, the beauty of the body, and the power of the voice. And as I have discovered the skeletons of our past, I realize that they give structure to the flesh of today.


    By studying the humanities, I have not only gained profound knowledge of the human spirit, but also a new perspective of the world in which I live. And with these tools at my disposal, I shall find success. And may we all find it together.

    Writers only need two friends: a cup of coffee and a thesaurus.

  2. #2
    Always lost in thought. semolinaro's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anna Iguana View Post
    Is this for a school assignment?
    Nope! Was just feeling inspired.
    Writers only need two friends: a cup of coffee and a thesaurus.

  3. #3
    reading all the things Anna Iguana's Avatar
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    Yes, I find it understandable. I'm intrigued by the idea that studying humanities is studying humanity.

  4. #4
    yes, it's understandable.

    but it lapses into literal cliches (silver platter) and cliched concepts that have been rendered impotent by overuse as platitude (human spirit, expand the mind).

    i would look to punch it up by making the general more personal, making your observations of the world more focused and visceral, and the overall thrust of your justification more passionate.
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  5. #5
    Herder of Hamsters AW Admin's Avatar
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    I don't mean to be cruel but it sounds like the first paragraph of the thousands of undergraduate college admissions essays I've read.

    For instance, why do you think that thinking and perceiving are uniquely human? How do you know?

    What makes you think the humanities are any better in providing understanding than the sciences? Or the arts?

    Think harder. Write harder.

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