Australian Politics - Office of Home Affairs and the Section 44 Mess

be frank · Jul 18, 2017

In a move that has nothing whatsoever to do with internal politics and placating the far right of his party (nosiree, nothing at all), Australian PM Malcolm Turnbull has decided -- against intelligence community and police push-back, and against the recommendations of his own security review -- to establish a new super ministry of Home Affairs and put Peter Dutton in charge. Yep, this guy:

I'd list the myriad ways in which this walking embodiment of Dunning-Kruger is the last person who should be put in charge of anything, let alone all of ASIO, the AFP, Australian Border Force, the Australian Criminal Intelligence Commission, Australian Transaction Reports and Analysis Centre (AUSTRAC), and the Office of Transport Authority, but I'd cry.

Instead, I'll remind myself that it's okay, because this move is definitely, absolutely, one hundred percent about keeping the population of Australia safe, and not about the safety of Malcolm Turnbull's job.

Helix · Jul 18, 2017

It's going to keep us even more safe, apparently.

Someone referred to him as J Edgar Tuber. Whoever came up with that deserves a f'ing medal.

mccardey · Jul 18, 2017

be frank said:
Instead, I'll remind myself that it's okay, because this move is definitely, absolutely, one hundred percent about keeping the population of Australia safe, and not about the safety of Malcolm Turnbull's job.

I so wish someone would tell that lot that Australia - which is yes actually SAFE - would be a lot safer if they'd just stop it. Just - stop it!

be frank · Jul 18, 2017

Helix said:
J Edgar Tuber.

be frank · Jul 18, 2017

mccardey said:
I so wish someone would tell that lot that Australia - which is yes actually SAFE - would be a lot safer if they'd just stop it.

Gosh, I dunno, mccardey. Maybe we're not so safe. I mean, surely our esteemed PM wouldn't hold a press conference like this if everything was, yanno, all peaceful and whatnot here.

Clearly, Australia is a dangerous, scary place, and we're all in imminent danger. :scared:

mccardey · Jul 18, 2017

You know what was missing? Flags. Tony would have had flags.

be frank · Jul 18, 2017

True. At least ten of them.

Helix · Jul 18, 2017

be frank said:
Gosh, I dunno, mccardey. Maybe we're not so safe. I mean, surely our esteemed PM wouldn't hold a press conference like this if everything was, yanno, all peaceful and whatnot here.

Clearly, Australia is a dangerous, scary place, and we're all in imminent danger.

Perhaps they're holding him hostage. In which case, they can keep him.

be frank · Jul 18, 2017

Helix said:
Perhaps they're holding him hostage. In which case, they can keep him.

Hmm. But you know who'd probably be left in charge then, right? Not Barnaby, oh no. It'd be this guy:

Hey, look! He has flags! (He must be a true patriot)

Helix · Jul 18, 2017

We're losing Ludlam and Waters from Parly and yet that scumbag just increases his power.

:rant:

be frank · Jul 18, 2017

The Waters thing is just so ... ugh. I understand the technicality, but still. Her parents were both Australians who lived in Canada for all of three years for work, during which time she was born. The family came back to Australia when she was eleven freaking weeks old, and she's never been back to Canada since.

And on the same day she has to leave parliament, Peter Dutton gets all his Christmases at once. Because the world sucks.

eta: Oh, and to add insult to injury, Canada changed its citizenship laws the week after she was born, so had she been born a mere seven days later, none of this would be an issue.

mccardey · Jul 18, 2017

I really don't like the direction we've been headed in since Howard. Bloody heartbreaking.

be frank · Jul 18, 2017

mccardey said:
I really don't like the direction we've been headed in since Howard. Bloody heartbreaking.

I wouldn't want to blame it all on the onion muncher (aka: Mr No, No, No), but I'm happy to blame him for at least 95%. Ever since "oppose everything even if you have no policies of your own" was shown to be a winning strategy, it's all gone to hell.

autumnleaf · Jul 18, 2017

mccardey said:
I so wish someone would tell that lot that Australia - which is yes actually SAFE

That's not what I heard! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNEeq5qGh8I

Albedo · Jul 18, 2017

Oh, Malcolm. You know Dutton's still going to crucify you at the first opportunity, right? You know sociopaths aren't capable of loyalty, right? You give him the extra special second biggest chair at the table, he's just going to sit there wondering why he can't have yours.

mccardey · Jul 18, 2017

I remember when Malcolm was cool. That was a very long time ago, wasn't it?

be frank · Jul 18, 2017

Albedo said:
Oh, Malcolm. You know Dutton's still going to crucify you at the first opportunity, right? You know sociopaths aren't capable of loyalty, right? You give him the extra special second biggest chair at the table, he's just going to sit there wondering why he can't have yours.

My favourite explanation for why Tony will never ever join Bernardi's ultra-conservative party (where he belongs) is because neither of them would accept being no. 2.

mccardey said:
I remember when Malcolm was cool. That was a very long time ago, wasn't it?

Well, he still has the leather jacket.

Crikey's take. Malcolm Turnbull has finally lost it.

Albedo · Jul 18, 2017

mccardey said:
I remember when Malcolm was cool. That was a very long time ago, wasn't it?

Before I was born, I think.

be frank · Jul 18, 2017

Not for nothing, but despite his apparently all-powerful status in the LNP, his repeated overreach and power grabs, his asylum policy atrocities, and his countless gaffes ... when I type the words "Peter Dutton" into Google, the second auto-fill suggestion for my search is "Peter Dutton potato."

How's that for a legacy, you nuff-nuff?

Dennis E. Taylor · Jul 18, 2017

Also, you have Spiders of Unusual Size.

arikdiver · Jul 18, 2017

Dennis E. Taylor said:
Also, you have Spiders of Unusual Size.

Yep. I'm sure some of them are wearing human skins in parliament.

Helix · Jul 18, 2017

Turnbull said that the dual citizenship issue with Ludlam and Waters shows 'gross negligence'. Dude, you just handed over an obscene amount of power to Adolf Kipfler.

mccardey · Jul 18, 2017

Helix said:
Adolf Kipfler.

ahahahahahah *sob*

be frank · Jul 25, 2017

Huh. Looks like the LNP might lose resources minister Matt Canavan to the dual citizenship mess. He's already resigned from cabinet. Good thing Malcolm Turnbull and friends were too clever to risk getting egg on their faces by mocking the Greens' questionable screening processes.

Oh, wait...

eta: This is the man who's the head cheerleader for the Adani mine atrocity. Couldn't happen to a nicer bloke.

RightHoJeeves · Jul 25, 2017

be frank said:
Huh. Looks like the LNP might lose resources minister Matt Canavan to the dual citizenship mess. He's already resigned from cabinet. Good thing Malcolm Turnbull and friends were too clever to risk getting egg on their faces by mocking the Greens' questionable screening processes.

Oh, wait...

eta: This is the man who's the head cheerleader for the Adani mine atrocity. Couldn't happen to a nicer bloke.

Heh heh heh. At least there's that.

One of my closest friends worked for the Premier of WA (labor), and for various reasons he never liked Ludlam. I don't agree with him, he doesn't agree with me - we're very close but we avoid talking about Ludlam. Anyway, when Ludlam went, he could help but gloat on Facebook. I held my tongue because there was no point.

Does it make me a bad friend to really, really hope Labor starts losing pollies due to the same rule? God, it would be so good...

Australian Politics - Office of Home Affairs and the Section 44 Mess

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