Irritated over first draft

Hey, first drafts are supposed to suck! So, if your first draft sucks, you're doing it right. Or something. Hang in there!

Oh, man. I'm in the same boat. I'm currently writing my fifth novel, and while my first drafts are always a disaster, this one in particular is a total wreckage. Every day is an uphill climb through molasses and pigshit. I didn't get anything all day, but somehow--somehow-- I just banged out 892 words in about an hour. I had to step away from the computer after staring at Word all afternoon, grab a shower, and rest my head.

And then...

A thought. And I knew what the next scene was gonna be. So I ran to my laptop and banged out these words as quick as I could. And better yet, I have a good idea what I have to get done tomorrow, which was not the case when I woke up today.

The best thing about first drafts is that they can always be re-written. That's why they're called First Drafts. Nobody said what you write the first time has gotta stick. Write badly. Go ahead. I dare ya! Just finish it, and then once the story has left your brain, come back to it and fix it all up. Make it all sexy and whatnot, and before you know it, you got a badass strory on your hands. It'll take a while---months, a year, several years---but you'll be taking a piece of coal and turning it into a diamond. Or at least something not as shitty as a piece of coal.

Keep writin'. We're all in this together...

"The first draft of anything is shit" -- Ernest Hemmingway

At the risk of repeating what Fruitbat and Harvester have already said, hang on in there and keep writing. It's far easier to create good writing from bad writing than to create anything from a blank page.

Sounds like you're dealing with depression as well, which sucks donkey balls and may be giving you an overly negative view on your work. Do take care of your mental health and check back with your psychiatrist if it gets too much.

Hey, you vent away. Let it suck, you can fix it later but you can't fix what you haven't got.

celticroots said:

I just feel like my first draft sucks so much. .

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Celticroots! You are not alone, and there is hope!

I bequeath unto you a piece I found very inspiring, Shitty First Drafts by Anne Lamott. Use it wisely. Use it well.

celticroots said:

I've been irritated a lot lately, but over what I am not sure. Ok, not entirely true. Mom and I are having house hunting troubles but other than that things are good. I was on anti-depressants and was given permission from my psychiatrist to stop taking my Prozac. Since stopping, I have much more energy.

But Iv'e been especially irritated when trying to work on my first draft. In fact I tried tonight then got frustrated and stopped. I just feel like my first draft sucks so much. But I try to remember I can fix it later.

Just venting basically. Thanks.

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I can relate. My 1st draft is pretty much gobshite.

Hang in there.

First drafts aren't necessarily bad. They may even be pretty good. But it may be hard to believe that when we're down in the details trying to get them done. We tend to be hyper-critical then.

My suggestion is to cut yourself some slack and finish your scenes and chapters. Then go hyper-critical after you've finished the first draft AND put it aside long enough to see it more objectively. I've found it also helps to do work on some other project before going into rewrite mode on an older project.

You may find you get slowly better over time, to the point where you can create good stuff and recognize it as good while you're working on it.

celticroots said:

But Iv'e been especially irritated when trying to work on my first draft. In fact I tried tonight then got frustrated and stopped. I just feel like my first draft sucks so much. But I try to remember I can fix it later.

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The first draft is about you discovering where your story is going, what your characters are like, and how things work in tandem with everything else in the story. It's not supposed to shine and dazzle. The first draft is slimy, greasy, and slippery to the touch. Most of the time it smells of burning oil, too. The trick is to sort that out well enough in subsequent drafts that you end up with something that smells peachy, with a polish so bright you could spot it from the moon.

Just this morning, I was sitting on the couch, laptop in lap, clicking away the keyboard on a pretty bad scene before the day job. Boyfriend walked in. "Writing?"
"Yes, not well, but that's okay."

I know that scene will have to be redone later, but if I didn't write it...it wouldn't get written at all. First drafts are called first drafts because there are second or thirds that come later.

First drafts are just to get the story down. The story doesn't even have to make sense at this point. For many writers, a draft is even a time to figure out if there even is a story. It's okay if it isn't smooth or polished at this point. It probably won't be for a few more rounds. And even then there will be changes....

Not sure if this will be helpful, but I'll put it out there anyway...

I'm still fairly new to this game of writing (a complete book, anyhow), but I've published my first book and it's doing surprisingly well. I'll add that I'm new to this forum also and unsure still how I fit in since my writing is non-fiction. That being said, the first draft of my book was a joyful experience. I just let it flow, and it flowed well - most of the time.

The second draft almost had me in tears on many days. I hit brick wall after brick wall, and almost threw the towel in countless times. That first draft I realized sucked badly in many places, and the editing process just frustrated the crap out of me. It was truly discouraging, but I thankfully had some people (and goals) that helped push me to it's completion. What wound up being a life saver for me was the willingness to let certain things go. Completely. I had sections that I kept trying to reword, tweak, rearrange - and it just wasn't happening. When I took those sections and started them over completely, things started happening again.

In my next book, if I'm stuck for more than a few days on something, I'm letting it go. I found I can hold onto my original idea, but create new life with it. I know some people consider the first things that come out of them "inspired" (not saying that you do), but I consider the idea inspired, not the writing. And I'm willing to let go of a lot of those inspired ideas, should even MORE inspired ones replace them .

Bottom line is things got easier when I started considering the garbage pail my friend. It's even easier knowing the the garbage pail is actually just a folder on my desktop. Can always go back if I want.