AW Amazon Store

If this site is helpful to you,
Please consider a voluntary subscription to defray ongoing expenses.


 

Welcome to the AbsoluteWrite Water Cooler! Please read The Newbie Guide To Absolute Write

Results 1 to 14 of 14

Thread: To Aliens, Who Shall No Doubt Land Too Late

  1. #1

    To Aliens, Who Shall No Doubt Land Too Late

    Welcome and may you
    enjoy your stay
    at the Humankind
    24-Hour Memorial
    Grand Cemetery and Landfill.

    We regret that you find
    yourselves alone
    but, when given the chance,
    we murdered our own.

    At first, of course,
    with club and stone;
    in time, with spear,
    sword and knife;
    so many ways to
    take a life.

    Later the longbow,
    the trebuchet,
    the cannon, the gun
    before we stretched
    one hand to the sun
    as the other clawed
    a neighbor's grave
    and there was no one
    left to save.

    Let silence be our legacy.

    Build here an empire
    of reason on bone
    for, when given the choice,
    we murdered our own.
    _____________________________

    Thorn Forest: A Gift for AW

    My poems on Twitter. Please proceed in an orderly fashion.





  2. #2
    reading all the things Anna Iguana's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Location
    US
    Posts
    779
    Very nice. I have no suggestions.

  3. #3
    Grand Duchess Ambrosia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    In the Castle, of course.
    Posts
    24,601
    Love your poem, William. Thank you for sharing it.
    ..
    "The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark."
    Michelangelo

    "You don't need thick skin, you just need perseverance." leifwright


    ...

  4. #4
    thank you both for taking the time to read and comment.
    _____________________________

    Thorn Forest: A Gift for AW

    My poems on Twitter. Please proceed in an orderly fashion.





  5. #5
    Super Moderator SuperModerator Stew21's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    lost in headspace
    Posts
    27,614
    Well that truth hurts, doesn't it?

    The poem is perfectly rendered, but damn it. Just damn it.

    The epitaph for humankind might be, "We murdered our own."

    Pardon me while I sob into some wine.
    Sometimes I actually write stuff
    Like this...
    If a tree falls in Hesperides

  6. #6
    thank you for your kind words, trish.
    _____________________________

    Thorn Forest: A Gift for AW

    My poems on Twitter. Please proceed in an orderly fashion.





  7. #7
    practical experience, FTW Tazlima's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    1,915
    Damn... right in the gut.

    Bravo.
    "One of the hardest things to do, I think, is learn to trust your own creativity." - Ambrosia

  8. #8
    delicate #!&@*#! flower Perks's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    At some altitude
    Posts
    18,934
    Oh wow. I've become a lurker in almost every respect, but this can't go with applause. It's been a rough Saturday morning for clicking on the Internet. I'm glad I didn't give up.

  9. #9
    Beastly Fido Roxxsmom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Lost in space. And meaning.
    Posts
    15,799
    Wow, this is really good. You have a gift for getting these hard ideas down, and I can't think of a way to improve on it either.

    And as an aside, I've often thought that the overwhelming odds are, if another species ever makes its way here, it won't likely be during our brief tenure on this planet.
    Last edited by Roxxsmom; 07-29-2017 at 10:31 PM.
    Please excuse me, I was raised by wolves.

    My twitter - My FB - My blog

  10. #10
    delicate #!&@*#! flower Perks's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    At some altitude
    Posts
    18,934
    Quote Originally Posted by Roxxsmom View Post
    <snip>You have a gift for getting these hard ideas down <snip>
    Yep.

    To me, it's the most important part of poetry I love. Second to that, the musicality.

  11. #11
    thank you all for reading and for your generous comments.
    _____________________________

    Thorn Forest: A Gift for AW

    My poems on Twitter. Please proceed in an orderly fashion.





  12. #12
    learning to appreciate the world dobiwon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Bon Air, VA
    Posts
    1,810
    William,
    I've been away from the Poetry Forum for a long (long, long) time, and I just decided to ease on back into it. Yours is first poem I read after that long hiatus, and it feels like I've been welcomed back. I got hooked on the first stanza, and as I read, I realized how much I missed poetry. The tone, meter, imagery, internal rhymes, all of it, makes me want to get back to writing poetry, which I haven't done for years now.
    Thanks, William.
    --Don
    ===================================

    Walk With Purpose- Poems (mostly) and essays by Don Magin

  13. #13
    i've missed seeing you and am delighted to see you, dobiwon.

    your kind words are the cherry on top.
    _____________________________

    Thorn Forest: A Gift for AW

    My poems on Twitter. Please proceed in an orderly fashion.





  14. #14
    Super Moderator SuperModerator Stew21's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    lost in headspace
    Posts
    27,614
    Quote Originally Posted by dobiwon View Post
    William,
    I've been away from the Poetry Forum for a long (long, long) time, and I just decided to ease on back into it. Yours is first poem I read after that long hiatus, and it feels like I've been welcomed back. I got hooked on the first stanza, and as I read, I realized how much I missed poetry. The tone, meter, imagery, internal rhymes, all of it, makes me want to get back to writing poetry, which I haven't done for years now.
    Thanks, William.
    Hello, Stranger!! Been a while. Great to see you back, Don!
    Sometimes I actually write stuff
    Like this...
    If a tree falls in Hesperides

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Custom Search