Here’s the truth about being a teenager: NO ONE ACTUALLY LISTENS TO YOU EVER.
The sad truth is, this doesn't get much better when you grow up either, especially for women. Novels where someone is instantly recognized and respected for their skill and hard work are probably wish fulfillment (nothing wrong with this, though there's always a need for more realistic stories too).
To be fair, I've run across a number of MG and YA novels where the entire plot revolved around adults not listening to kids or taking their knowledge, experiences, or skills seriously. Many of the Harry Potter books come to mind. If the grown ups had listened to the kids, the stories would have been a few chapters at most.
I heartily agree about the need for more stories centered on female relationships that aren't adversarial or based on rivalry/jealousy or the mean girls. Sure, those situations and unpleasant people (of all genders) exist, but so do warm and supportive friendships between girls and women.
I did send my characters on a no-adults road trip, which is something she singles out as unrealistic. Thanks to my agent and editor, I made it as plausible as possible in terms of the adults vetting the trip and making arrangements to keep tabs on the teens. But in my time and my family, believe me, tabs would NOT have been kept.
I may be a bit younger than you, but in the 80s, it was still pretty normal for high school students to go to rock concerts, ski trips, and even overnight camping trips and so on, without adults. School trips were carefully chaperoned, but we had a fair amount of freedom outside of school, parents depending. My folks even let me go on an overnight ski trip with friends, including my boy friend. My husband did a week-long bike trip with friends when he was 16. His mom later confessed that she was worried about him getting hit by a truck or something, but she felt it was important for him to have the experience as a part of growing up.
I don't see any of my friends and relatives allowing their 16-year old kids to go on overnight, unchaperoned ski trips or week-long bike trips with friends. Some wouldn't even allow their kids to walk or bike themselves to school until they were teenagers.
This probably varies greatly by locale, though. I can't help noticing that my friends and relatives who live in gated suburban enclaves or precious college towns are actually more protective and paranoid about their kids being out and about on their own than the parents in my middling-to-working-class neighborhood in a larger city. Lots of kids seem to walk unescorted to our neighborhood grade and middle schools.