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Thread: Obsessive Rep Point Checkers Club (Volume VI)

  1. #14401
    Procrastinator Extraordinaire Lillian_Blaire's Avatar
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    Good morning, Jay! I hope you get lots of good writing done today.

    So, my sister and her husband are coming into town tomorrow (she lives across the country) and I'm very excited to see her--she has never been to (any of) my house(s) in the 18 years since I left my "home" state. The thing is, I'm not a slob or anything, but I have nearly-adult boys who are not as clean as I'd like them to be and I'm not going to clean up after them. I had planned to use the entire day tomorrow to clean my house (and get them to help after school) because she wasn't arriving until late. But she texted about an hour ago to say there had been a change in plans and they will be here sometime between "first thing in the morning" and "sometime before noon". Which means our regularly scheduled program is being interrupted for this emergency alert: I MUST CLEAN THE HOUSE TONIGHT!

    My head hurts just thinking about it. So much for getting caught up on my sleep.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jaymz Connelly View Post
    I don't know that anyone could fill Lil's stilettos in her absence. She's very special and unique.
    Lil is just full of of sweetness and love, with a side of raunchy innuendo. That never hurt anyone! - Jaymz
    Tell that to the guy(s) manacled in her basement... - be frank

  2. #14402
    Procrastinator Extraordinaire Lillian_Blaire's Avatar
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    I guess I'd better take these boots off...
    Quote Originally Posted by Jaymz Connelly View Post
    I don't know that anyone could fill Lil's stilettos in her absence. She's very special and unique.
    Lil is just full of of sweetness and love, with a side of raunchy innuendo. That never hurt anyone! - Jaymz
    Tell that to the guy(s) manacled in her basement... - be frank

  3. #14403
    Do I have to? BryanT's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lillian_Blaire View Post
    Oh, Bryan. You know the prefect thing to say (and do with your hands). Come here!
    Oh my god and those boots. *woof*
    Quote Originally Posted by be frank View Post
    It takes 42 muscles to frown, but only 4 to raise your middle finger.
    Quote Originally Posted by be frank View Post
    Aaaah, coffee... Wine and beer I can live without, but cut me off from my coffee and I'll kill you violently.
    You can also read my poetry on All Poetry

  4. #14404
    You'd better watch out Jaymz Connelly's Avatar
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    Take a couple of deeps breaths, Lil. Your sister is coming to see YOU, not how clean your house is. Besides, your mother was there a few months back, I'm sure she would have commented on the state of your house if it were relevant, so your sister would already know.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Yeah, those boots would definitely make housework more challenging. *g*

  5. #14405
    Procrastinator Extraordinaire Lillian_Blaire's Avatar
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    Yeah, but just because my mom told her it was a disgusting mess, doesn't mean she wants to see proof of that herself, you know? haha
    Quote Originally Posted by Jaymz Connelly View Post
    I don't know that anyone could fill Lil's stilettos in her absence. She's very special and unique.
    Lil is just full of of sweetness and love, with a side of raunchy innuendo. That never hurt anyone! - Jaymz
    Tell that to the guy(s) manacled in her basement... - be frank

  6. #14406
    Procrastinator Extraordinaire Lillian_Blaire's Avatar
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    I don't know that she and my mom talk much...hmmm...I'll have to ask. They aren't very close and don't live in the same state. But either way, my sis has 5 kids under the age of 12. Pretty sure she knows what a messy house looks like. It's just...it's different when it's your OWN filth, you know? I can shower and look down and see my own hair in the drain and be like, "Better remember to get that", but if I'm showering at someone ELSES house and look down and see their hair, I'm gonna gag.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jaymz Connelly View Post
    I don't know that anyone could fill Lil's stilettos in her absence. She's very special and unique.
    Lil is just full of of sweetness and love, with a side of raunchy innuendo. That never hurt anyone! - Jaymz
    Tell that to the guy(s) manacled in her basement... - be frank

  7. #14407
    You'd better watch out Jaymz Connelly's Avatar
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    I'm sure it is not now nor ever has been a disgusting mess.

  8. #14408
    Do I have to? BryanT's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lillian_Blaire View Post
    So, my sister and her husband are coming into town tomorrow (she lives across the country) and I'm very excited to see her--she has never been to (any of) my house(s) in the 18 years since I left my "home" state. The thing is, I'm not a slob or anything, but I have nearly-adult boys who are not as clean as I'd like them to be and I'm not going to clean up after them. I had planned to use the entire day tomorrow to clean my house (and get them to help after school) because she wasn't arriving until late. But she texted about an hour ago to say there had been a change in plans and they will be here sometime between "first thing in the morning" and "sometime before noon". Which means our regularly scheduled program is being interrupted for this emergency alert: I MUST CLEAN THE HOUSE TONIGHT!

    My head hurts just thinking about it. So much for getting caught up on my sleep.
    So hereís what you do. Round up the kids and threaten them with the pain of death if they donít help you clean and then assign them each a job to do. ONE job. And when they complete that job they are to come to you so you can check the job. If it was done satisfactorily, then they can move on to the next thing. After they complete 3 jobs, then they are free.

    That should help you quite a bit. Mom always did that with my brother and me. And it got the house clean in quite a hurry.
    Quote Originally Posted by be frank View Post
    It takes 42 muscles to frown, but only 4 to raise your middle finger.
    Quote Originally Posted by be frank View Post
    Aaaah, coffee... Wine and beer I can live without, but cut me off from my coffee and I'll kill you violently.
    You can also read my poetry on All Poetry

  9. #14409
    Procrastinator Extraordinaire Lillian_Blaire's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaymz Connelly View Post
    I'm sure it is not now nor ever has been a disgusting mess.
    You may be right. Disgusting may be a slight exaggeration. Unless you go into the boys' bathroom. Do not go into the boys bathroom!!!
    Quote Originally Posted by Jaymz Connelly View Post
    I don't know that anyone could fill Lil's stilettos in her absence. She's very special and unique.
    Lil is just full of of sweetness and love, with a side of raunchy innuendo. That never hurt anyone! - Jaymz
    Tell that to the guy(s) manacled in her basement... - be frank

  10. #14410
    You'd better watch out Jaymz Connelly's Avatar
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    In other news, I wrote TWO little flash stories before everyone else in the house started moving about. (haven't posted them yet because they're sort of out of order) I'm still three behind, but hoping to get a bit closer to caught up by the end of today. PLUS I want to get the first pass done on my story so I can send it off to 'fresh eyes'.

  11. #14411
    Procrastinator Extraordinaire Lillian_Blaire's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BryanT View Post
    So here’s what you do. Round up the kids and threaten them with the pain of death if they don’t help you clean and then assign them each a job to do. ONE job. And when they complete that job they are to come to you so you can check the job. If it was done satisfactorily, then they can move on to the next thing. After they complete 3 jobs, then they are free.

    That should help you quite a bit. Mom always did that with my brother and me. And it got the house clean in quite a hurry.
    Excellent idea. I am totally going to do this.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Jaymz Connelly View Post
    In other news, I wrote TWO little flash stories before everyone else in the house started moving about. (haven't posted them yet because they're sort of out of order) I'm still three behind, but hoping to get a bit closer to caught up by the end of today. PLUS I want to get the first pass done on my story so I can send it off to 'fresh eyes'.
    Ooooo, congratulations!!
    Quote Originally Posted by Jaymz Connelly View Post
    I don't know that anyone could fill Lil's stilettos in her absence. She's very special and unique.
    Lil is just full of of sweetness and love, with a side of raunchy innuendo. That never hurt anyone! - Jaymz
    Tell that to the guy(s) manacled in her basement... - be frank

  12. #14412
    You'd better watch out Jaymz Connelly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lillian_Blaire View Post
    You may be right. Disgusting may be a slight exaggeration. Unless you go into the boys' bathroom. Do not go into the boys bathroom!!!
    Heh. I have two boys myself. I NEVER go in their bathroom (and Mr C is always complaining about how disgusting it is).

  13. #14413
    Procrastinator Extraordinaire Lillian_Blaire's Avatar
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    Yeah, there are some parts of the house that will just eventually be condemned. Aka their bathroom.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jaymz Connelly View Post
    I don't know that anyone could fill Lil's stilettos in her absence. She's very special and unique.
    Lil is just full of of sweetness and love, with a side of raunchy innuendo. That never hurt anyone! - Jaymz
    Tell that to the guy(s) manacled in her basement... - be frank

  14. #14414
    You'd better watch out Jaymz Connelly's Avatar
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    You need a hazmat suit to enter that zone.

  15. #14415
    Procrastinator Extraordinaire Lillian_Blaire's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BryanT View Post
    Oh my god and those boots. *woof*
    *walks the catwalk*

    *poses*

    *turns*

    *walks back*

    Okay, you can put your tongue back inside your mouth now.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Jaymz Connelly View Post
    You need a hazmat suit to enter that zone.
    I told my oldest I'd but him a mask and some gloves and pay him $20 to get that place sparkling. He said he'll have to think about it.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jaymz Connelly View Post
    I don't know that anyone could fill Lil's stilettos in her absence. She's very special and unique.
    Lil is just full of of sweetness and love, with a side of raunchy innuendo. That never hurt anyone! - Jaymz
    Tell that to the guy(s) manacled in her basement... - be frank

  16. #14416
    practical experience, FTW MRFAndover's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lillian_Blaire View Post
    I told my oldest I'd but him a mask and some gloves and pay him $20 to get that place sparkling. He said he'll have to think about it.
    Tell him he's had enough time to think, and any further thinking will reduce his pay. I really, really like Bryan's suggestion.

    I may even print it out and post it. If Hayden wasn't having surgery the day after they come home... sigh. Well, I've been letting the dog sleep on their bed and not changing the bedding. Heh.

    But, Lil: Maybe triage and make a priority list. You need to live your life as well as clean. Speaking of which, I WILL vacuum the floor tomorrow morning. I will.

  17. #14417
    You'd better watch out Jaymz Connelly's Avatar
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    I'd tell him it doesn't require thinking, and the longer he takes to get started, the less money he'll get.

    I usually threaten my guys with 'do it now, or die'. *g* They don't get paid for doing chores that are normal 'keep a house clean' chores, only for extra stuff.

  18. #14418
    Procrastinator Extraordinaire Lillian_Blaire's Avatar
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    The real reason he needed to think is because he's studying for finals. I think he was trying to debate whether or not he could take time out of studying and still get a good grade on his test.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jaymz Connelly View Post
    I don't know that anyone could fill Lil's stilettos in her absence. She's very special and unique.
    Lil is just full of of sweetness and love, with a side of raunchy innuendo. That never hurt anyone! - Jaymz
    Tell that to the guy(s) manacled in her basement... - be frank

  19. #14419
    practical experience, FTW MRFAndover's Avatar
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    Another report from the trenches of my life:

    I arranged for the inspector from the fire department to go to the house today to inspect the new oil tank installation and to get a smoke alarm certificate for the closing.

    I had delegated the installation of new smoke alarms to my ex-husband having given him detailed directions from the fire department inspector. The required number of smoke alarms of the right type had been installed. But one of them was installed on a wall. So it needs to be moved to an appropriate place on the ceiling, and then the inspector needs to come out again.

    I let my ex-husband know about the issue and gave him directions, including photographs, on where to install the smoke alarm. He knows the closing is on 12/28. He knows the holiday season is upon on. He said that he would make the change this weekend. I said that it was an urgent matter. So, he agreed to do the work tonight.

    I asked him to call the inspector and arrange for him to come out again and meet him at the house. His reply: "being able to meet him will depend on when it's scheduled for."

    The implication here is that I can and should interrupt my work to go meet the inspector again. This is from the same guy who was complaining about the fact that I don't make more money. Of course, it's hard to make more money when you're a freelance editor and treated as if your work can be interrupted at any old time...

    I keep saying to myself: Repeat after me: This is almost over, this is almost over, this is almost over...

    Gah!

  20. #14420
    Procrastinator Extraordinaire Lillian_Blaire's Avatar
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    This is almost over!! Hang in there!
    Quote Originally Posted by Jaymz Connelly View Post
    I don't know that anyone could fill Lil's stilettos in her absence. She's very special and unique.
    Lil is just full of of sweetness and love, with a side of raunchy innuendo. That never hurt anyone! - Jaymz
    Tell that to the guy(s) manacled in her basement... - be frank

  21. #14421
    practical experience, FTW MRFAndover's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lillian_Blaire View Post
    This is almost over!! Hang in there!
    Thanks, Lil.

    Especially, thanks in light of how busy you are at the moment.

    FYI: There is a great article in The New Yorker about autoimmune disorders.

    https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2...-wrong-with-me

    Wow. I did not realize it was from Aug. 2013 when I read it. How little progress has been made in 4 1/2 years!

  22. #14422
    You'd better watch out Jaymz Connelly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lillian_Blaire View Post
    The real reason he needed to think is because he's studying for finals. I think he was trying to debate whether or not he could take time out of studying and still get a good grade on his test.
    Well, okay, that's a valid reason for thinking about it.


    Hang in there, MRF! It's almost over! You can get through this without killing your ex!

    Just went across the road to deliver the last plate of cookies. I do so love sharing the love with my baking.

  23. #14423
    Procrastinator Extraordinaire Lillian_Blaire's Avatar
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    I cleaned bathrooms and the kids are doing dishes! Woohooo!
    Quote Originally Posted by Jaymz Connelly View Post
    I don't know that anyone could fill Lil's stilettos in her absence. She's very special and unique.
    Lil is just full of of sweetness and love, with a side of raunchy innuendo. That never hurt anyone! - Jaymz
    Tell that to the guy(s) manacled in her basement... - be frank

  24. #14424
    practical experience, FTW MRFAndover's Avatar
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    OK. I'm on a weird roll today.

    I wrote a short, short story. It's a bit of an embroidery of real life, which is how I do any fiction that comes out.

    http://absolutewrite.com/forums/show...0#post10319200

    There is the link. I won't get better without some feedback. As I say at the end, I've never tried to write humor before.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Lillian_Blaire View Post
    I cleaned bathrooms and the kids are doing dishes! Woohooo!
    Yay, Lil! It's awesomeness at your house.

  25. #14425
    practical experience, FTW MRFAndover's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaymz Connelly View Post
    Well, okay, that's a valid reason for thinking about it.


    Hang in there, MRF! It's almost over! You can get through this without killing your ex!

    Just went across the road to deliver the last plate of cookies. I do so love sharing the love with my baking.
    Thank you, Jaymz, especially for reminding me not to kill him.

    You inspired me to bake cookies today!

    Now, I have to try not to eat them all tonight.

    ---updated---

    So, the ex went over to the house, didn't read the text messages carefully, and moved the wrong smoke alarm. And then he said: "I'll likely make a mess of the wall when I remove that smoke alarm. I'll have to touch up the paint as well." Well, doh! And why did you put it on the wall in the first place?

    It's helpful to be able to vent. At least I don't have to remind myself why I'm getting divorced...
    Last edited by MRFAndover; 12-08-2017 at 06:10 AM.

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