Talking to a dying friend

Thanks, it is hard. I've only talked to him once since I found out last week and he sounded pretty bad. Probably gonna talk to him again either tonight or tomorrow night. I won't bore you with the details, but we've been through a lot together.

Sorry about your friend, too. Thanks , sweet Laverne.

Maryn said:

Lucky you, I refilled my hugs bucket just this morning. Take all you want.

Click to expand...

You realize you're spoiling me, right? And I am a glutton for many things, hugs being on the very top of my list.

Thanks, Maryn. I am constantly blown away by the generosity on this board. I think it's pretty clear by now that writers are pretty nice people.

Ha, we were both raised Catholic, but despite that (or maybe because of it) neither of us is religious anymore. Not in a formal way, anyway.

It's just difficult (or it was the last time we spoke) to know what he wants to talk about, whether lighthearted or solemn, because he can't speak very well. I will show up though, regardless, you're right. Thanks very much.

Ambrosia said:

If he were not ill, would you hesitate to ask him what he wants to talk about? If not, don't do so now. His illness does not define him. It is just something that has happened to him.

Sending you more hugs.

Click to expand...

Well, if he weren't ill, our conversations would go as they always have. You know, just give and take. Roughly 50/50 talking and listening for each. But since he can't speak without difficulty then it will fall more on me. Which is fine. Just don't want to be frivolous when he's looking for truth. And I don't want to be serious and sad, when maybe all he needs at that moment is escape.

Maybe it won't be as difficult as I'm imagining it will be. I think, I hope I'll be able to feel my way.

Man, I am fat with hugs right now. I think I'm gonna owe a lot in return. But I'm thinkin' that will be a pleasure.

Thanks very much.

So we've been talking, and he is a fighter. He's always been a positive thinker and he still is now. He told me about a drug that just got FDA approval, a Japanese drug that's supposed to be available in August.

http://medcitynews.com/2017/05/als-disrupted-fda-approves-japanese-drug/?rf=1

He also mentioned medical marijuana, which won't be available in his state till next year. This has affected his lungs, so he wouldn't want to smoke it, and I doubt he wants to be stoned all his waking hours, so he's talking about low THC edibles.

Thanks again to everyone who's posted on this thread, and even to those who thought about posting but had no idea what to say. I'm uplifted after speaking with him, because as I say, he's not taking it lying down.

bombergirl, I'm thinking of sending him some DVDs of classic boxing matches. He's a big fan. I had a dream about him last night. We were out in my backyard, which he's never been, and he was helping me fix my car. Which of course was just parked right in the middle of the lawn. I think he knows even less about cars than I do, if that's possible. All of a sudden another car appeared in my yard, an unfamiliar car driven by someone I didn't recognize. He was speeding through my backyard (it was a lot bigger in my dream) and when he came to the gate to get out he saw that it was locked. I walked over and told him, "You realize this is private property, right? You're not supposed to be driving around in here." He just grinned at me, revving his engine. I told him I'd go in the house and look for the key to the gate so he could get out, and just more grinning and revving. But I couldn't find the key before I woke up.

He's fighting, and I'm glad. I can't see how a positive attitude can hurt, even if this is a fatal disease, and even, as I said, if he has apparently skipped the early stages and may not have much time left. I hear his heartbreak, his fear, between the lines. That medication may be good for him, I honestly only hope he'll be around to take advantage of it. That sounds bad, I know, but I think it's his reality.

He knows how I feel about him. I tell him, but he ignores it.

It's all about hope, isn't it? For all of us. Even if it's closer to delusion.

Thanks, everyone. He's actually making it easy on me--he's all about fighting and prolonging his life, so that's what I'm all about.

I agree that positive thinking, embracing life, forward 'motion', etc--it's more powerful than we know.

OFG, the only reason I thought this might have been better placed in CC, was because this is a party place, don't wanna rain on parades, etc. but if you think this thread could help others who may not be registered here, then maybe we should leave it here. Thanks!

Boy, at times like these, Faith, in the afterlife, must come in handy. After all, what's a few years on Earth compared to an eternity in paradise?