Opening a novel with a short, verse-like chapter

LeftyLucy · Jun 15, 2017

My WIP has two POV characters. I recently had the revelation that I've been leading with the wrong one. So now I'm re-working the story to open with what had previously been my secondary POV character.

Currently, the introductory chapter for this POV character is a short chapter with a verse-like structure, in that each paragraph ends with the same sentence. It's still draft and needs to be cleaned up, but I really like this chapter.

I'm wondering, though, if this would be a turn off as a first chapter in a novel. Or, alternatively, does it set an incorrect expectation that the whole book would be in verse?

Thoughts?

ecerberus · Jun 15, 2017

As long as the chapter isn't too long and the verse-structure doesn't feel like a gimmick, at least I as a reader would not think the whole book is that way. I might construe it as an interesting approach to open a book, so long as it's engaging. But then if I flip to page 2 and it's the same, well then we have a problem

Maybe put up a sample once done and I'm sure you'll get the feel of how people perceive it.

Harlequin · Jun 15, 2017

Put a sample, I'd say. I'm intrigued.

Like everything ever, it could be either amazing or terrible or just meh--all in the execution

LeftyLucy · Jun 15, 2017

I've posted the chapter in the SYW forum: http://absolutewrite.com/forums/sho...g-Chapter-(690-words)&p=10190875#post10190875

Cindyt · Jun 15, 2017

I turned in creative homework similar to that and my prof said "This is a rap song!" :roll:

I have a scene in my WIP1 where the reply "Put it under the blood" is repeated several times.

So if it's don't right it would be fine, I think.

Harlequin · Jun 15, 2017

I think it works well for you there.

I'm not much of a contemporary reader though, so hesitant to post an actual critique.

Curlz · Jun 15, 2017

I just skimmed through the excerpt in the other thread. Yes to the repeating line, no to the "verse". The repeated refrain has a purpose, the poem-like narrative doesn't. As a "chapter" this is just infodump and even if you make it sing-songy, it's still an info-dump. The unusual "voice" might work if it's a personal voice of a character first-person POV.
:Jump:

Mary Mitchell · Jun 15, 2017

See my comments in your Show Your Work post.

LeftyLucy · Jun 17, 2017

Thanks, all! Much appreciated.

Opening a novel with a short, verse-like chapter

LeftyLucy

ecerberus

Harlequin

Eat books, not brains!

LeftyLucy

Cindyt

Gettin wiggy wit it

Harlequin

Eat books, not brains!

Curlz

cutsie-pie

Mary Mitchell

Go down road, go pub.

LeftyLucy