Liked the concept, liked the voice, liked the story, but...

popmuze

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So many hurdles to leap: this editor liked the concept, the story, the voice, but ultimately couldn't relate to the main character. I thought if you could get someone to like the concept, the voice, and the story, you were golden. Probably someone else will like the character, the concept, and the voice, but not the story. Is there some trick to making the character more relatable?
 
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cornflake

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So many hurtles to leap: this editor liked the concept, the story, the voice, but ultimately couldn't relate to the main character. I thought if you could get someone to like the concept, the voice, and the story, you were golden. Probably someone else will like the character, the concept, and the voice, but not the story. Is there some trick to making the character more relatable?

Have other editors said the same thing? What'd your agent say about the feedback? Does the agent recommend changing the ms?

Do you see tthe character as unrelatable?

Hurdles, btw.
 

Roxxsmom

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[warning, long post incoming, so feel free to take or leave whatever you wish]

It's hard to say what might or might not be missing without reading your work. Consider that this is the opinion of one editor, and not liking a given character might not be about poor characterization itself. Strong, well-done characters will sometimes elicit very strong responses in particular readers, and those responses won't always be positive. No book (or character) is for everyone. For instance, if (say) your main character is a coward and a liar, that's not a bad thing in of itself (assuming that's the kind of protagonist the story needs). BUT some readers simply prefer books with brave, forthright protagonists. Nothing you can do about that.

I am no expert (so take what I say with a grain, or entire shaker, of salt), but if characterization is something you feel you struggle with, one thing to ask yourself:

Is the character driving what happens in the story, or at least making active choices that have consequences that move the plot along? Despite what some say, I think relatable, interesting characters can be reactive at times, even passive, especially early in the story (reactive or passive to active is a type of arc also), but their choices or concerns should affect the plot, and they should have a reason for doing what they do. In other words, they shouldn't just be spectators as things happen around them, unless they're cast as a witness or narrator who is observing the story's true protagonist (as was Nick in the Great Gatsby).

A writer who gave a talk at a workshop I attended said that he felt it was fine for a main character to be incompetent or ignoble or ambivalent, but they should be performing as well as they are capable of at a given time in the story. I think this is because a character who isn't trying their hardest will tend to feel distant or detached from the story's stakes, and it will be harder for readers to root for them.

There are always exceptions, especially if the character's arc is about their being detached or passive (such as Mersault in The Stranger, or Milo in The Phantom Tollbooth). But these characters had reasons for being who they were, and their personalities drove the story. If you have this kind of story, I think that needs to be crystal clear from the beginning.

Another potential problem might be a static, or completely unchanging, main character. Static main characters can be done effectively (and may be more of a norm in long-running series of certain kinds, like James Bond, or stories where the character's fixed personality is part of a tragic arc, such as The Stranger, or Death of a Salesman or whatever), but in a single, stand-alone book, there would likely need to be a clear reason for static-ness.

Other potential issues could include being unclear about a character's goals, problems with portraying their emotions, a strong voice that grates on some readers (not all readers like character-centered narratives, and not all voices appeal to all readers), or a voice that is inconsistent or doesn't match the character's circumstances. Also, characters that represent a trope the reader dislikes or has seen too much of lately (for their tastes) could be an issue. Think of all the angst and disagreement that surfaces in those threads about "things we hate in [insert genre]."

There are so many things this comment could mean, and not all reflect badly on your work at all.

Again (and boy oh boy does this sound phony, because I can lose all confidence in myself from a single negative comment), don't allow one opinion voiced by one editor to throw you for a loop. But if characterization is a frequent criticism you get from readers, it's something to consider. There are also books on the subject of characterization. There are a couple I know of offhand:

Characters and Viewpoint by Orson Scott Card and Creating Character Emotions by Ann Hood.

Searching these on Amazon (which seems to be down right now, at least for me) will likely give you links to other books dealing with these topics too.
 

popmuze

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Thanks for your comments. A lot of them totally hit home. Ironically, I've just completed this book as a screenplay and in doing so began to see some inconsistencies in the character. I do think he's kind of ambivalent and what he wants keeps changing. By the end I'm not sure what the reader will be rooting for--I'm not sure if the character knows himself what he's rooting for. Anyway, since 100 agents have rejected this book already after having requested pages, I'm now going the small press route and this was the first response from an editor. A few others still have it. I'm not sure I have the energy to rewrite it again--although writing it as a screenplay was a lot of fun.
 

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Thanks for your comments. A lot of them totally hit home. Ironically, I've just completed this book as a screenplay and in doing so began to see some inconsistencies in the character. I do think he's kind of ambivalent and what he wants keeps changing. By the end I'm not sure what the reader will be rooting for--I'm not sure if the character knows himself what he's rooting for. Anyway, since 100 agents have rejected this book already after having requested pages, I'm now going the small press route and this was the first response from an editor. A few others still have it. I'm not sure I have the energy to rewrite it again--although writing it as a screenplay was a lot of fun.

An ambivalent character with changing wants (or wants and needs that are in conflict) can certainly work, and be intriguing and relatable, but I think the author needs to make it clear how this ambivalence is at the center of the story, or a large part of what is driving it. The protagonist still needs to make choices, and they need to have consequences that are important to the overall plot.
 

popmuze

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The protagonist still needs to make choices, and they need to have consequences that are important to the overall plot.

I think he does that. It's a time travel story, and every time he makes a change in the past, it has consequences that make him have to rethink his actions. But he certainly does take action. However, I think the ending is sort of ambivalent too. Like, no matter how many times you change the past, your life will never turn out perfect. It's a fantasy novel, so I'm thinking maybe the ending has to be wonderful and not inconclusive.
 

Luzoni

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One time I got a rejection that was so weird, it was like..."did you even read it?" LOL. I've forgotten the exact nature of it, something like "there was too much romance" in a book that had virtually NONE. It's such a tough industry. Good news is, I think that one did eventually sell despite all the rejections. So it does happen. Keep at it! :Hug2:
 

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this editor liked the concept, the story, the voice, but ultimately couldn't relate to the main character.

I get this one a LOT. Or I get its brother "I just didn't feel close enough to the main character."

...what does that mean, even? I feel like my character asked them on a date and got dumped. (Though rejections kind of are like that, I guess)

I suspect it might be shorthand for "your story doesn't feel like I want stories to feel."
 

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I've always been troubled by the concept of "relating" to main characters, too, because that isn't how I read. I like characters who interest me and are dynamic in some way; they don't need necessarily to be relatable. I also find it troubling because you have no idea of the personality or life experiences of the people who read your work - how can you tell if agent x will relate to a character, or whether reader y will see some of themselves in your MC? Sometimes, I think what they really mean is that there has to be something about a MC that is universally relatable - something that no matter who you are, you'll feel something for. Perhaps a character who has a goal or dream and can't achieve that because of external factors that hold them back? A character who has feelings for someone unobtainable? We've probably all been there.

Then there's likeability. And that's a different kettle of fish. In my most recent project, the MC is definitely relatable in the things she wants. But in the first draft, she wasn't necessarily someone you'd want to be friends with.
 

novicewriter

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:) Keep trying, everyone. Finally receiving a personalized rejection from a literary agent feels like you're on the right track towards being accepted by a literary agent in the future.