Writing with Stress...?

I feel you. Sometimes I have to force myself to write due to stress. Usually, I'll power through a first draft, even though I know I'll end up scrapping half of it. At least then I'll have the bones to build the rest of my story off of. If I'm particularly stressed about (or stuck on) a scene, I'll outline it and then move forward to the next scene, just to keep the momentum going.

I also keep a log of how much I write day. I like giving myself a goal. It actually helps to keep me motivated to see when I see how many words I've successfully gotten out a day.

When I finally have something I feel like is worth presenting to someone, I'll make my husband read it. Then I'll grill him about everything he likes and doesn't like so I can see what works or what needs to be fixed.

If the stress is too much though, I give myself a break. I take a week reading (or rereading) books that I know will inspire me.

One of the most common causes of writers' block is a lack of self compassion. (I've said this here before. It's a thing of mine.) I've helped several writers release themselves from being blocked over the years and it is possible that your feelings of stress result from this. You could try looking online for a self-compassion guided meditation. There are lots out there, many of which are free to use. It might well help you. Good luck.

my advice isn't going to be popular

it's better write when you can than to push yourself so hard you burn out. if you can't write for a while (hours, days, weeks) some times you have to give yourself a break.

Jade A said:

my advice isn't going to be popular

it's better write when you can than to push yourself so hard you burn out. if you can't write for a while (hours, days, weeks) some times you have to give yourself a break.

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I'd agree with this. The quality of the work will suffer, and, if the work is published, your readers will notice straight away.
You have to be on the ball the whole time...

Old Hack said:

One of the most common causes of writers' block is a lack of self compassion. (I've said this here before. It's a thing of mine.) I've helped several writers release themselves from being blocked over the years and it is possible that your feelings of stress result from this. You could try looking online for a self-compassion guided meditation. There are lots out there, many of which are free to use. It might well help you. Good luck.

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Old Hack, are there any in particular you recommend? Anxiety stops me dead occasionally, and I'd love to see whether these meditations would help. I Googled and there seem to be a lot of them, so any help pointing me toward a good one would be much appreciated.

Marlys said:

Old Hack, are there any in particular you recommend? Anxiety stops me dead occasionally

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Anxiety is the one thing that really kills my writing too. I can usually write through other ailments, but I haven't figure out how to write through bad anxiety. However, I do like this meditation for easing anxiety.

Marlys said:

Old Hack, are there any in particular you recommend? Anxiety stops me dead occasionally, and I'd love to see whether these meditations would help. I Googled and there seem to be a lot of them, so any help pointing me toward a good one would be much appreciated.

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I can't recommend any in particular, because different people respond better to different things. As there are so many free guided meditations to download online, it's worth trying a few and seeing how you get on.

vicky271 said:

If you have any additional advice, i'd love to hear it. As Marlys asked, is there anything you recommend?

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To summarise: I've done quite a lot of research into writers' block, and have worked with several writers over the years who were blocked. In every case it came down to their being unable to write because they were so self-critical. Common thoughts were:

I can't write
I'll never do this
This isn't good enough
No one will like this
What if I fail?
People are going to be angry if I write this

And so on and so forth. Negative, self-critical thoughts.

The easiest way to deal with thoughts like this is not by powering through, or working out what the problem with the work is: because usually the problem is with the writer, not the work. So you look at what the writer is doing (being far too hard on themselves), and deal with that.

By increasing self-compassion you start to reduce those negative, self-critical thoughts.

By meditating, you begin to still the mind and allow that stifled creativity to surface.

Considering mindfulness is also good. There's crossover here.

So by using guided meditations which are formulated specifically to improve self compassion, you get double bubble. And if you set aside your desperation to write, and spend a small amount of time every day in meditation--ten minutes helps, half an hour is better, an hour a day is really going for it--you can see results really quickly. The trick, though, is to keep up with it once writing starts again. So don't think you're all sorted once you have a day when the words come: keep meditating. Keep being mindful. Keep practising self compassion. So if you miss a day, don't give yourself a hard time. Recognise we all have lives to live, and hope to do better tomorrow.

It's amazing how easy and effective it is.

I recently had a time when I just stopped writing. It lasted about six months, but at the time I thought it unlikely I'd ever write again. Your post, Old Hack, hit home, and it surprised me that it did. I go through periods when I can't write, more just don't see the point, but I'd never thought of those times as writers' block. Come to think of it, I don't think I put a label on it at all. BUT, it was definitely due to my belief that, as you said, "This isn't good enough." And the very next thought I'd always have was 'I'm not good enough, I'm not a good enough writer.' That's a thought I have regularly. I know I tend to be self-critical, but I'd never tied the two together. I just thought I was honestly critiquing my work. Ha, I'm not sure I know the difference. But a lot to think about.

I've seen that, Vicky, and I believe it makes sense. Maybe it's a question of how much we beat ourselves up in the meantime. For myself, I don't know. I can take more self-abuse than is probably healthy.

Vicky, that's an interesting thing--but we have a maximum image size of 400 x 400 pixels on AW, so could you please either edit it down or just link to it? Thanks.

You are aware that writing goes through numerous edits and polishing sessions-- obviously, ideas do too. No one's first draft writing is going to look "publishable." Writing is a process, of course, but the majority of writing happens in the "editing" phases.

What an interesting discussion! I'd like to sing along.

I wrote about this recently in my writer's block subforum thread. In my case, I called it a crisis of confidence rather writer's block per se, but the results are the same.

Interesting stuff on meditation and self-sabotage, Old Hack. I pray the rosary (which involves meditation) and would think of your posted thoughts as counterproductive cognitions (from my training as a cognitive behaviorist), but it ends up in very much the same place. That sort of thing gives me hope. Truth is still truth no matter how you come to it.

I tend to try to power my way through internal distress. For an unfortunately large portion of my life, allowing myself space to cope hasn't been a viable option. And quite often it works, at least for me.

But eventually, something will happen that I can't power through. And then I'm screwed. I don't do well when I feel trapped. That's an overwhelming trigger for me. And then I'm trying to function while I'm screaming inside. It's exhausting.

So, lately I picked up a virus (known in southern Oregon as the Charleston Crud--it couldn't even have the decency to possess a dignified moniker). I spent much of February and March in bed. This is truly devastating for me--to be physically compromised for this length of time. Even today, my physical endurance isn't what it should be. I'm trying to power through that, too. Work (at construction or gardening) a half hour, then sit until my heart rate normalizes and I think I can put in another stretch. I don't know yet how productive this will be, but I don't think I'll build physical endurance flat on my back.

I've got personal family challenges that appear un-overcome-able, at least for now. I went to counseling to check on it, decided that yes, my judgment wasn't skewed in this area, and so now I'm trying to leave it in the past. To deal with it more if necessary when the wound isn't so raw, and hopefully, when I've grown and developed more perspective.

My main writing problem is that I'm attracted to self-publishing for a variety of reasons (the ability to use my own visual art in my covers, greater control, and the general mindset which is quite similar to one I already understand as a small business owner). The downside is my inability to assess that which I don't know--how big a difference would editors in trade publishing make? Okay, I can hire an editor. But I'm unsure if an editor who wants to gain a piece of the SP market is going to be as direct as they might otherwise be. All the incentives in that area seem to be pointing the wrong way. And many editors are out of my price range, and the one I hired in the past proved to be disappointing--less thorough than a beta read.

So I was going to go with beta readers who are also writers (most of whom come from the SYW forums). Then I asked a blogging friend if she would be kind enough to give me a few sentences as an author blurb on my novelette. The piece had already been beta read and liked by several others. I thought it was done. But my friend really was kind. She told me it wasn't ready yet. And looking through her notes, she was right.

And then I collapsed. I couldn't write. I couldn't trust my own judgment. Referring to Vicky's image, I couldn't tell if I'd passed from the good taste but insufficient skills stage to something of professional standard, at least not with my novels. (I figure my short stories published by outside presses and ezines should pass, objectively.)

So I'm trying to give myself space while still being productive. I'm using my blog mostly to cross-promote with interviews and book reviews. That'll at least help other people and keep my blog going. Social media (Twitter, Pinterest, Facebook) otherwise has withered to just enough to keep my presence from being abandoned. I'll take my friend's critique of my novelette (which wasn't destructive by any means), incorporate it, and find another beta reader whom I can trust to be honest. I mentioned deconstructing Tolkien as a possibility as a forward-motion project, and AW Admin was actually kind enough to say we might be able to expand that into an AW-wide project. (Trying not to hope too much on that one, but it's hard not to since it would be so severely cool.)

So I guess my advice (although I'm wary of dignifying it with that--I'm not sure it's working yet) is to keep moving on something related. Don't let it paralyze you because inaction feeds depression. Exercise. Get counseling if needed for other areas of your life. And don't beat yourself up if you're truly doing the best you can.

I just finished reading two very good books that talk about "How to be a Writer" -- dealing with the same self-talk and negative issues.

Fearless Writing by William Kenower and Write Naked by Jennifer Probst

They both tackle those voices in our heads that we all know we all have, but we all think we're alone with the voices.

There's also an app called Calm that does guided meditations. Very useful.

I have a diagnosed anxiety disorder, and my therapist has been a huge help - in areas I hadn't expected as well, like my writing. I was upset over something with my writing earlier, and was struggling with it, and my therapist told me, "Katy, you are human, and no one expects you to be perfect!" It's something that rationally I know, but have a hard time really believing and accepting. Since then, I've talked with her a lot more about writing and my process and fears and the like, and she's been really good at helping to soothe my fears and encouraging me to just keep writing more. She's also sort of helped me through the anxiety of less-than-stellar reviews and querying/submitting, and it's been really nice, even if she doesn't have in-depth knowledge about the publishing world and the details of what it requires. A LOT of my stress and anxiety comes from my job and where I live, so a lot of that bleeds into my writing and my own image of my writing, too, so all in all, having a therapist to talk to can really help with those problems, even if they are not exactly writing-related all the time.

Honestly, just thumbing through books I love helps me sometimes. They brought so much reflection and inspiration and love into my life, and I know bringing them into fruition took just as much work, love, attention and care. Now it's my turn!