You know when you're walking down the street and you see a cat, and you want to pet it, but you know that if you even look at it too much it will go somewhere else, so you just sit down on the sidewalk and do something else like - stare into space (or look at your phone...) and - the cat will probably come up and check you out. But you can't force it. You have to just be open & inviting and not scary