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I'm Afraid of Taking A Break

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Taylor Harbin

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Life has been throwing me and my wife lots of punches. She's been working six days a week because the stupid assistant manager at her place suddenly quit. Meanwhile, my work schedule has change so my off days are no longer back to back. Searching for a new job has been one long exercise in futility, but I can't quit what I'm doing now because...food. Today a big wave of depression hit me that had me asking a whole bunch of questions. Is all my hard work meaningless? Should I just give up writing entirely? When this happens I feel powerless to see things from another perspective and it rolls over me like a tidal wave, so much so that I'm seriously wondering if I might need to start seeing a therapist..but that's a topic for later.

We're going on a week-long vacation to Florida tomorrow and I'm seriously debating if I should take any writing material with me. Part of me thinks If you just keep working hard you'll get this done and be one more step closer to success. The other part of me thinks You're burnt out! Take a break and relax, for your own good!

I'm nervous about either choice, confused and uncertain about life in general. Anyone relate? How do you choose?
 

msuss

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I'd go with Voice #2, Taylor. It doesn't pay to push yourself when you are so stressed out & you'll just ruin your vacation. Let yourself rest and get rejuvenated. And when you return, it couldn't hurt to try some counseling. It's a sign of strength, not weakness, to reach out for help when you need it.
 

mccardey

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Voice #2 because writing isn't just about words on the page. There's also the thinking. (But then I'd stick a printout of the last chapter and a notebook and pencils into the suitcase as well, just because what if it rains?)
 

be frank

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Voice 2, without a doubt. Sometimes the best thing you can do is take a break.
 

Taylor Harbin

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Voice #2 because writing isn't just about words on the page. There's also the thinking. (But then I'd stick a printout of the last chapter and a notebook and pencils into the suitcase as well, just because what if it rains?)

I'm taking Brave New World, Childhood's End, ​and a collection of Isaac Asimov. But since we're going to be in Florida, it probably will rain, lol.
 

Taylor Harbin

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:Hug2:

Voice 2, without a doubt. Sometimes the best thing you can do is take a break.

It probably is, it's just I have this weird mental thing where I equate "break" with laziness. I went through a four year period where I did no serious writing and am constantly haunted by the stuff I could have done/learned. Silly, but that's how my brain is.
 

be frank

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It probably is, it's just I have this weird mental thing where I equate "break" with laziness. I went through a four year period where I did no serious writing and am constantly haunted by the stuff I could have done/learned. Silly, but that's how my brain is.

I do/feel the same thing. I suspect a lot of writers do, actually. Whenever I'm not writing / actively thinking about the WIP, I feel like I'm being lazy and wasting time.

But ... I know logically that's wrong. In fact, I know whenever I take a break to do some reading instead (frex), I always come back refreshed and rejuvenated. I just have to remember that the next time the little "you're being lazy" voice creeps in.

What I suggest is to maybe give yourself a set time. It's not: "I'm taking an indefinite break from writing," it's: "I'm taking this week off from writing to fully enjoy my holiday." Give yourself permission. :)
 
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Taylor Harbin

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I do/feel the same thing. I suspect a lot of writers do, actually. Whenever I'm not writing / actively thinking about the WIP, I feel like I'm being lazy and wasting time.

But ... I know logically that's wrong. In fact, I know whenever I take a break to do some reading instead (frex), I always come back refreshed and rejuvenated. I just have to remember that the next time the little "you're being lazy" voice creeps in.

What I suggest is to maybe give yourself a set time. It's not: "I'm taking an indefinite break from writing," it's: "I'm taking this week off from writing to fully enjoy my holiday." Give yourself permission. :)

That's a good way of looking at it. I guess I feel that even more so because I still haven't broken in? Maybe that feeling never goes away no matter how successful you do/do not become.
 

JJ Litke

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I'm sorry you're having such a rough time, Taylor. :Hug2:

It's absolutely okay to take a vacation (it sucks that we've developed a mentality against that in our culture). If you think it's going to bother you, though, then consider other ways to keep things going that aren't as taxing. Idea generation is vital to writing, so you could take a small notebook and jot down ideas. You don't have to push at that--one of the precepts of brainstorming is to just keep putting ideas down without judgment, because sometimes that helps spur the deeper amazing ideas you wouldn't reach otherwise.

You don't even have to do that much. There's not a damn thing wrong with taking a week off, and focusing on other things might be just what you need. I hope you guys have a great time. :)
 

Taylor Harbin

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I'm sorry you're having such a rough time, Taylor. :Hug2:

It's absolutely okay to take a vacation (it sucks that we've developed a mentality against that in our culture). If you think it's going to bother you, though, then consider other ways to keep things going that aren't as taxing. Idea generation is vital to writing, so you could take a small notebook and jot down ideas. You don't have to push at that--one of the precepts of brainstorming is to just keep putting ideas down without judgment, because sometimes that helps spur the deeper amazing ideas you wouldn't reach otherwise.

You don't even have to do that much. There's not a damn thing wrong with taking a week off, and focusing on other things might be just what you need. I hope you guys have a great time. :)

Thank you. I was in over my head before I realized it. I haven't had a story sale in months despite two being held for consideration, and my novel has stalled after more than 30,000 words. My expectations just kinda fell flat, you know?
 

Taylor Harbin

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On vacation now. Gears in my mind are jammed so it's hard to think about creative things but it's nice to be away. Thanks for the responses everyone.
 

mike33phillip

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I find that if I'm struggling with something it helps to take a break and come back to it with fresh eyes and a fresh perspective, instead of beating my head against the wall trying to make something happen.
 

Myrealana

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I'm going to go with "Let yourself take a break."

Read. Read something that just takes you out of yourself. Let your brain rest and recharge. You clearly need it.
 

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Ah glad you went with the right option Taylor. Hail, rain or shine, there's fun to be had in Florida. Enjoy! :)
 

Taylor Harbin

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Well, I'm back. Florida was wonderful. Still don't have an answer for my lousy job or depression but at least I was able to forget about them for a while. Not sure how easily I'll be able to return to my WIP. My brain is full of happy things but now it wants to chase children's fantasy books, which I don't know anything about but suddenly want to write (I'm talking the weird category stuff like Redwall, not strictly defined MG or YA).

Anyway, thank you all for listening. The most writing I did was a page or two of notes. Read the rest of the time (and fished!) It's good to know I'm not entirely alone.

"Always say yes to adventures, else you will lead a dull life" - Ian Fleming
 

Taylor Harbin

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Final update. I'm going to try powering through my science fiction novel, despite the glaring problems. I have made a bargain with myself: I can chase the new shiny idea on revamping a story I previously pronounced dead, but only if I finish my current WIP. Maybe in another six months to a year I'll find a way to make this one shine. We've hit the busy season in tourist country. I'm working Mother's Day and I'm going to miss my ten-year high school reunion. On top of that my off days are scattered, so the physical stress (or rather the dread of physical stress) makes me feel old some days, like I'm at the end of my strength.

But the beak was​ nice. I definitely needed it.
 

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The only thing worse than getting writer's block from not writing is writing so much that you get burnt out and don't even want to see a word processor. I've struggled with that in the past. A lot of advice articles insist to write every day and make it seem like if you don't, you'll never be a good writer. Not only is that not true but it also, in my opinion, can do more harm than good.
 

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Final update. I'm going to try powering through my science fiction novel, despite the glaring problems. I have made a bargain with myself: I can chase the new shiny idea on revamping a story I previously pronounced dead, but only if I finish my current WIP. Maybe in another six months to a year I'll find a way to make this one shine.

You should do whatever works best for you, but I just wanted to drop my two cents in: I think you should consider allowing yourself to put the current piece aside for a bit. Awhile ago, I read a piece about Asimov's process and it really inspired me and totally changed my process. Maybe it will help you, too:

"I don’t stare at blank sheets of paper. I don’t spend days and nights cudgeling a head that is empty of ideas. Instead, I simply leave the novel and go on to any of the dozen other projects that are on tap. I write an editorial, or an essay, or a short story, or work on one of my nonfiction books. By the time I’ve grown tired of these things, my mind has been able to do its proper work and fill up again. I return to my novel and find myself able to write easily once more."
 
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