As a queer woman, I try to write queer characters, and love reading stories with diverse casts. But, I'm forced to wonder in the course of my own writing, is there a "just right" as opposed to "too much" queer?
Out of a very large cast, I would estimate that about half of my characters are infected with The Gay™ in all it's glorious variety. One major culture has multiple genders in the same vein as certain Native American cultures, and have unique pronouns that the other cultures don't. They also have a different system of marriage because of this. Most of the other cultures in this setting don't have any real opinions on gender one way or the other, with a general understanding and acceptance of non-binary identities but nothing on a cultural level. Gay/lesbian/bisexual/pansexual/asexual/aromantic identities are also generally accepted and people pay attention to them about as much as Earth folks pay attention to straight people - as in, they're considered normal and not worth notice.
However, with this being the case, how much can I emphasize the prevalence of queer folks to the reader without going out of the context of the culture where nobody would emphasize it? I feel like I've got a good idea, by just showing the people themselves and their interactions with others, but I'm not sure how to tell when it comes off as deliberate.
Also, I'm not sure how to tell if my proportions of queer characters are "accurate." In our society here on Earth, queer folk very much tend to band together because of our marginalized identities. It wouldn't be unusual at all in a story set on Earth to have a large cast of all or mostly queer folks; hell, the "cast" in my own life is pretty much solid rainbow lol. But, if I'm supposed to try to get the reader to suspend disbelief in my fantasy world, then I must also suspend my own preconceived notions, right? And to me, that feels like acknowledging that in a world that is truly liberated from queerphobia, queer folks won't need to band together.
Of course, there will still be the tendency for people with similar interests to group up, and since a lot of adult friend groups are built up of networks made by your partners/exes, their partners and exes, etc... there would still be the tendency to know more queer folk. What do you folks think?