Bad Joke Thread
- Thread starter Keithy
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What happened when three cats got in a boat that was only built to hold two cats?
Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq
Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq
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Did you hear about the cannibal who got kicked out of the tribe?
He got caught playing with his food.
He got caught playing with his food.
This thread is killing me.
So guys, you know when geese fly in a V, one side of the V is longer than the other? Do you know why that is?
...
More geese on that side.
So guys, you know when geese fly in a V, one side of the V is longer than the other? Do you know why that is?
...
More geese on that side.
How do you stop a zombie apocalypse?
Herd them into Washington, D.C. (With no brains to eat, they'll all starve to death)
Herd them into Washington, D.C. (With no brains to eat, they'll all starve to death)
1. Why don’t you ever see hippopotamus hiding in trees?
Because they’re really good at it.
2. Did you hear about the Mexican train killer?*
He had locomotives.
Because they’re really good at it.
2. Did you hear about the Mexican train killer?*
He had locomotives.
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How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but the light bulb has to want to change.
Only one, but the light bulb has to want to change.
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Did you know the ancient Egyptians had a Santa Claus?
His name was Ra-ben-ho-ho-ho-tep.
Doesn't this thread need a "groan" button?
His name was Ra-ben-ho-ho-ho-tep.
Doesn't this thread need a "groan" button?
A man jumps out of a plane and he yanks on all the cords, but his parachute doesn't open. As he plummets down, he sees a man sail up from the ground towards him.
"Hey" he yells at the man, "do you know anything about parachutes?" "No," says the second man, "Do you know anything about gas stoves?"
"Hey" he yells at the man, "do you know anything about parachutes?" "No," says the second man, "Do you know anything about gas stoves?"
Why do Chemists like hamburgers?
Because it contains meat in the ground state.
I think this one might be a bit too funny for this thread.
Because it contains meat in the ground state.
I think this one might be a bit too funny for this thread.
Three boys are sitting on a railway bridge when a train goes underneath. The first one says "there she goes", the second one says "there he goes", and the third one says "there it goes".
Which boy is right?
The second one. It's a mail train.
Which boy is right?
The second one. It's a mail train.
I raised money for charity last night by dressing up as Cruella de Vil...... I got 101 donations.
The managing director of Dulux Paints has sadly died of hypothermia today while treking across the Antarctic. Paramedics said he could have done with another coat.
The managing director of Dulux Paints has sadly died of hypothermia today while treking across the Antarctic. Paramedics said he could have done with another coat.
What do you do when there's a sink standing outside your door?
Wait a minute.....
.....
.....
.....
You let that sink in.
Wait a minute.....
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.....
.....
You let that sink in.
Two snowmen are sitting on a hill. One turns to the other and asks, "Do you smell carrots?"
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I was I was laying on the beach this summer and heard a guy in the water start screaming, "Shark! Help! Help! Shark!" I just laughed.
I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.
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I was I was laying on the beach this summer and heard a guy in the water start screaming, "Shark! Help! Help! Shark!" I just laughed.
I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.
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