Bad Joke Thread
- Thread starter Keithy
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Just noticed the all time classic in this genre hasn't come up yet:
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
Titles from the Not-So-Classic section:
Fifty Yards to the Outhouse by Willy Makeit, illustrated by Betty Doont
The Yellow River by I.P. Daly
Spots on the Wall by Hoo Flung Poo
Fifty Yards to the Outhouse by Willy Makeit, illustrated by Betty Doont
The Yellow River by I.P. Daly
Spots on the Wall by Hoo Flung Poo
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What makes Quasimodo a good detective? He can always trust his haunch.
Did you hear about the spanish-speaking magician? He said he would disappear on the count of three. He said "Once. Doce." Then poof! he disappeared without a trece...
I once saw a little old lady having trouble at an ATM. She asked me to help her check her balance. So I pushed her. Her balance wasn't very good.
Did you hear about the spanish-speaking magician? He said he would disappear on the count of three. He said "Once. Doce." Then poof! he disappeared without a trece...
I once saw a little old lady having trouble at an ATM. She asked me to help her check her balance. So I pushed her. Her balance wasn't very good.
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My favorite joke ever:
What do you get when you cross a cow and an octopus?
A visit from the Ethics Committee and immediate cessation of funding.
(I'm married to a scientist)
What do you get when you cross a cow and an octopus?
A visit from the Ethics Committee and immediate cessation of funding.
(I'm married to a scientist)
Oh, these are painful!
A man just assaulted me with milk, cream and butter. How dairy.
A vulture boards an airplane carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."
A man just assaulted me with milk, cream and butter. How dairy.
A vulture boards an airplane carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."
Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,
Eating her curds and goo;
Along came a spider,
Who sat down beside her,
And she ate that, too.
Eating her curds and goo;
Along came a spider,
Who sat down beside her,
And she ate that, too.
Why did the chicken cross the road softly?
Because it was just a baby and it couldn't walk hardly.
Because it was just a baby and it couldn't walk hardly.
horrorchix89
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Courtesy of Iain Banks in Espedair Street:
“There's this sloth in the jungle walking from one tree to another, and it's mugged by a gang of snails, and when the police ask the sloth if it could identify any of its attackers, it says, 'I don't know; it all happened so quickly...”
“There's this sloth in the jungle walking from one tree to another, and it's mugged by a gang of snails, and when the police ask the sloth if it could identify any of its attackers, it says, 'I don't know; it all happened so quickly...”
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A mathematician performed an experiment on teaching horses to solve math problems. She found herself a nice clever little filly, and quickly taught her Euclidean geometry. Thus emboldened, she decided to move on to analytic geometry. When the mathematician showed the filly the algebraic expression that gives the locus of a circle, the filly whinnied in horror and galloped away.
The moral: Don't put Decartes before the horse.
The moral: Don't put Decartes before the horse.
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