- Joined
- Mar 30, 2017
- Messages
- 183
- Reaction score
- 31
I'm wondering if I'm FUBARing myself with my tenses.
Example 1: Is the "Think" and "could I" ok in the midst of past tense? Is it assumed she is remembering those things, so it doesn't to have a qualifier - like "Think!" I told myself.
I pulled up a search engine and stared at the blank bar. Think! What innocent thing could I search for that would make my behavior seem normal? My mind was blank, I could think of nothing I wanted to see.
Example 2: Do I need to say "Would I have hated"?
She looked satisfied, if not smug, and she turned with a bounce that made her ponytail dance. A perfect blond ponytail tied with a perfect red bow. Would I hate her if she hadn’t replaced Millie?
Example 3: Should I to Should I have felt? Am I to Was I?
When the memory hit me it was immediately sobering. Should I feel guilty that I wasn’t concerning myself with the others down there? Am I also complicit in their suffering? I didn't want to consider that possibility.
I've noticed my MC asks a lot of questions in her thoughts, and sometimes those come out present tense. To make it all past tense gets clunky. It doesn't bother me when I read it, but I also wrote it, so I'm doubting my perspective. Would it make a difference if the present tense thought questions were italicized?
TIA for the feedback!
Example 1: Is the "Think" and "could I" ok in the midst of past tense? Is it assumed she is remembering those things, so it doesn't to have a qualifier - like "Think!" I told myself.
I pulled up a search engine and stared at the blank bar. Think! What innocent thing could I search for that would make my behavior seem normal? My mind was blank, I could think of nothing I wanted to see.
Example 2: Do I need to say "Would I have hated"?
She looked satisfied, if not smug, and she turned with a bounce that made her ponytail dance. A perfect blond ponytail tied with a perfect red bow. Would I hate her if she hadn’t replaced Millie?
Example 3: Should I to Should I have felt? Am I to Was I?
When the memory hit me it was immediately sobering. Should I feel guilty that I wasn’t concerning myself with the others down there? Am I also complicit in their suffering? I didn't want to consider that possibility.
I've noticed my MC asks a lot of questions in her thoughts, and sometimes those come out present tense. To make it all past tense gets clunky. It doesn't bother me when I read it, but I also wrote it, so I'm doubting my perspective. Would it make a difference if the present tense thought questions were italicized?
TIA for the feedback!
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