With all the stress in his head over the past day he felt a strange sensation settling over him. David was working on his thoughts in the background. His chest felt tight and his brain felt on fire. He loved this strange feeling for some unknown reason. He got up from his seat and acting on some baser level, lunged at the orderly standing over him.
'Brian, what are you doing?!' the orderly, a large muscular lion, exclaimed.
The words were meaningless to him. He was acting on David's feral drive, and jumped on the orderly who's name he could not remember. With conscious thought a distant memory he started to bite at the lion, completely unaware of the commotion around him. He was eventually forced to the ground as a bloodied lion stepped away. He was still struggling to fight off some unknown manifestation of his fear when his strength quickly failed him for some reason he could not understand. He felt a leaden feeling flowing through his body and vaguely noticed someone standing over him with a syringe as everything went black.
When he awoke, he was in an isolation cell. He had no way of telling how long he had been here. Back in the muzzle, straitjacket, and leg chains, he let the weary feeling continue. He had the taste of blood in his mouth and blood on his fur. He did not know how he had ended up here or covered in blood. Sometimes it seemed he just ended up here without reason. He saw flashes of memory that caused him to struggle to break free of his bonds. Whatever had put him here had to pay. He thrashed in the straitjacket and attempted to break the muzzle. Neither would give slack but he continued until a group entered his cell. They forced him to the ground and forced poison into his veins. He wondered how they could so casually try to execute him. He gave up the struggle and allowed the poison to work it's way through his veins.
'Freedom at last' he thought as his consciousness terminated.
This sprang as inspiration from a day long panic attack and I started writing the concept for the next chapter. I draw a lot from my mental illness and mental world in order to play with ideas in a safe and satisfying manner. I intend to expand on the shorter chapters once I have the overarching story sketched out in rough ideas. Some people may have seen my 4000 word intro in SYW. Main question is, does this properly evoke in the reader the senses and feelings of the main character in a way that allows you to feel/see what he is experiencing? Trying to evoke the senses of his mental illness without explicitly stating them. Even to someone who is completely unaware of how mental illness works.
'Brian, what are you doing?!' the orderly, a large muscular lion, exclaimed.
The words were meaningless to him. He was acting on David's feral drive, and jumped on the orderly who's name he could not remember. With conscious thought a distant memory he started to bite at the lion, completely unaware of the commotion around him. He was eventually forced to the ground as a bloodied lion stepped away. He was still struggling to fight off some unknown manifestation of his fear when his strength quickly failed him for some reason he could not understand. He felt a leaden feeling flowing through his body and vaguely noticed someone standing over him with a syringe as everything went black.
When he awoke, he was in an isolation cell. He had no way of telling how long he had been here. Back in the muzzle, straitjacket, and leg chains, he let the weary feeling continue. He had the taste of blood in his mouth and blood on his fur. He did not know how he had ended up here or covered in blood. Sometimes it seemed he just ended up here without reason. He saw flashes of memory that caused him to struggle to break free of his bonds. Whatever had put him here had to pay. He thrashed in the straitjacket and attempted to break the muzzle. Neither would give slack but he continued until a group entered his cell. They forced him to the ground and forced poison into his veins. He wondered how they could so casually try to execute him. He gave up the struggle and allowed the poison to work it's way through his veins.
'Freedom at last' he thought as his consciousness terminated.
This sprang as inspiration from a day long panic attack and I started writing the concept for the next chapter. I draw a lot from my mental illness and mental world in order to play with ideas in a safe and satisfying manner. I intend to expand on the shorter chapters once I have the overarching story sketched out in rough ideas. Some people may have seen my 4000 word intro in SYW. Main question is, does this properly evoke in the reader the senses and feelings of the main character in a way that allows you to feel/see what he is experiencing? Trying to evoke the senses of his mental illness without explicitly stating them. Even to someone who is completely unaware of how mental illness works.
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