I've never read a book where the MC had DID or a split personality, and I've never even considered writing something like this before, so I could use some input. I have done some research on DID, and am continuing to pursue that.
Background: the dual personalities have existed for a while, and the split came about through trauma. The alter called 'Rat' was created to cope with violence, and usually responds in kind when that circumstance arises. Alan, the original personality, tends to be cautious, and is compulsive about planning ahead and carefully considers ramifications before acting on anything.
In this scene (the first where they are both aware of the other), Alan/Rat have been in a car accident with head trauma, and now they are able to speak directly to each other for the first time.
As I said, I've never written anything like this before, so comments and suggestions are very welcome. Here's a VERY rough first attempt at dialogue between the two personalities.
===
It was quiet; the few sounds he heard were muted. Rat slowly eased his eyes open. He was in a dimly lit room; the only light was just what could peek around the edges of the closed door. Someone was deeply breathing nearby as if they were asleep. It hurt a little to turn his head, but he saw the dim outline of three other beds spaced evenly between himself and a darkened window on the far wall.
It must be night, he realized. He didn’t like the antiseptic smell of this place, and guessed that he was in a hospital. He had a headache to rock the ages. What the fuck had happened?
‘We were in an accident, don’t you remember?’ a disembodied voice whispered.
“Who’s that?” he asked. His voice sounded rough and deep as it echoed off the stark surfaces of the room.
‘Shh…’, the mysterious voice cautioned. ‘Don’t talk out loud. Just think words at me, and I’ll hear you just fine.’
“Where the hell are you?” he questioned in a lowered voice. Maybe one of the patients in the other beds was talking to him? Whatever was going on was fuckin’ weird.
‘Will you please be quiet?’ the soft voice beseeched, and it felt as if his own head wanted shake in exasperation. ‘It’s just me, Alan. Rat, if they hear you having a conversation with yourself, they’ll lock us both up in a padded room. So just shut up, and just think at me.’
Rat tried to sit up to have a better look around the place, but it hurt too much to move. It looked like there was a needle stuck in his arm, and one of those beep-beep machines that he had seen on TV was standing sentinel beside his bed. ‘You can hear me? What the fuckin’ hell is going on?’
‘It’s alright brother, just calm down. You’ve known I was here for a long time, didn’t you?’ Alan asked.
‘Yeh, I knew. Coulda used your help on my fuckin' Algebra test last week,’ Rat replied.
Background: the dual personalities have existed for a while, and the split came about through trauma. The alter called 'Rat' was created to cope with violence, and usually responds in kind when that circumstance arises. Alan, the original personality, tends to be cautious, and is compulsive about planning ahead and carefully considers ramifications before acting on anything.
In this scene (the first where they are both aware of the other), Alan/Rat have been in a car accident with head trauma, and now they are able to speak directly to each other for the first time.
As I said, I've never written anything like this before, so comments and suggestions are very welcome. Here's a VERY rough first attempt at dialogue between the two personalities.
===
It was quiet; the few sounds he heard were muted. Rat slowly eased his eyes open. He was in a dimly lit room; the only light was just what could peek around the edges of the closed door. Someone was deeply breathing nearby as if they were asleep. It hurt a little to turn his head, but he saw the dim outline of three other beds spaced evenly between himself and a darkened window on the far wall.
It must be night, he realized. He didn’t like the antiseptic smell of this place, and guessed that he was in a hospital. He had a headache to rock the ages. What the fuck had happened?
‘We were in an accident, don’t you remember?’ a disembodied voice whispered.
“Who’s that?” he asked. His voice sounded rough and deep as it echoed off the stark surfaces of the room.
‘Shh…’, the mysterious voice cautioned. ‘Don’t talk out loud. Just think words at me, and I’ll hear you just fine.’
“Where the hell are you?” he questioned in a lowered voice. Maybe one of the patients in the other beds was talking to him? Whatever was going on was fuckin’ weird.
‘Will you please be quiet?’ the soft voice beseeched, and it felt as if his own head wanted shake in exasperation. ‘It’s just me, Alan. Rat, if they hear you having a conversation with yourself, they’ll lock us both up in a padded room. So just shut up, and just think at me.’
Rat tried to sit up to have a better look around the place, but it hurt too much to move. It looked like there was a needle stuck in his arm, and one of those beep-beep machines that he had seen on TV was standing sentinel beside his bed. ‘You can hear me? What the fuckin’ hell is going on?’
‘It’s alright brother, just calm down. You’ve known I was here for a long time, didn’t you?’ Alan asked.
‘Yeh, I knew. Coulda used your help on my fuckin' Algebra test last week,’ Rat replied.
