Is this scene idea too strange?

Myrealana · Mar 15, 2017

It's unusual, obviously, and since I don't like blood or discussion of blood, wigs me out personally.

That said, it is a very, very intimate gift -- something that says "Our lives are forever tied together."

And no, cutting ones self for a purpose like this does not indicate any kind of mental illness or depression, any more than two people cutting their hands to become "blood brothers" means they're mentally unbalanced.

There's a reason for the tradition of two people cutting themselves and mixing their blood is said to bind them as family.

SwallowFeather · Mar 19, 2017

Hey everybody, just wanted to stop back by and say thank you. I sent in my manuscript on Wednesday & have been recovering since then, it's been a really long haul on this one.

I ended up going with the hair thing. After reading up on Jewish traditions about hair I had her cut a full-length lock from the crown of her head. It's more meaningful, hard to explain. I also went ahead & went back and built in the idea that her hair is always up in a tight bun, had to go through the whole manuscript and scatter references to that in appropriate places. And then this is the only time he ever sees her take it down...

It's not final, and I may write a version with blood (just a drop or so, I agree with those who've envisioned it that way), after double-checking what Jewish tradition has to say about it, and just see how that reads & feels and try both version on some readers. I didn't have time for that before my deadline, but there'll be plenty of time in the editing stage. But definitely the "her hair is never down" bits throughout the book will stay b/c that's very in line with her character.

I just wanted to thank you all for the sheer amount of attention you gave this. Being able to get so many people's thoughts, sometimes very thought-through thoughts, just because I asked, was very meaningful. My dear friend and writing mentor died early this year--he'd been ill a long time, I had hoped to finish the book in time for him to read it, but when the end came it came much faster than anyone had expected, and I only just got to tell him I planned to dedicate it to him. I miss him a lot, in more ways than one, but I always miss him when I'm writing, when I have an insight to share or ask for. As I mulled over this scene I've wished over and over that I could ask him his opinion, but I can't. Asking you all and being answered so readily has helped. Thank you.

Jan74 · Mar 19, 2017

I'm so sorry you lost your friend and writing mentor (((Hugs)))
I think the lock of hair is appropriate too and very sentimental, you're book sounds very interesting.

morngnstar · Mar 20, 2017

It's not that it's gross. It's that it hits me in a "Who does that?" sort of way. Maybe your answer is, "My MC does," and that's okay. But you run the risk of jarring your reader out of the story.

Most of the time, I find when I ask the question, "Is this too much?" the answer is yes. Pull it back, not all the way, but a little bit. So, maybe she doesn't cut herself to provide a blood memento, but maybe she already did cut herself on that barb wire you mentioned, and already has a blood-stained handkerchief.

The other thought I had was that if she's being symbolic and ritualistic, one could say spiritual, it would be cool if it was tied into her Jewish faith in some way. Are there any Jewish traditions regarding "something to remember you by" that you could draw upon?

Mel101 · Mar 22, 2017

If it's consistent with her character, then I don't see anything wrong. Anything tends to eork if it's written well and fits the story. Also, your story, your rules!

Is this scene idea too strange?

Myrealana

I aim to misbehave

SwallowFeather

Oops I just swallowed a feather

Jan74

morngnstar

Mel101