regdog's Autobot & Decepticon Comedy Cabaret-Energon Served Hourly
- Thread starter Jaycinth
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Have you tried anything in particular to help you through this cray-loss mourning period?
A man walks into a bar and sees his friend sitting beside a 12-inch pianist.
He says to his friend, "That's amazing. How did you get that?"
His friend pulls out a bottle and tells him to rub it and make a wish.
He rubs the bottle, and a puff of smoke pops out and tells him that he can have one wish.
So the man thinks and says, "I wish I had a million bucks."
The genie says, "OK, go outside, and your wish will be granted."
The man goes outside, but all he finds are ducks filling the street, rooftops and sky.
He goes back in and tells his friend what happened.
His friend replies, "Did you really think I wanted a 12-inch pianist?"
He says to his friend, "That's amazing. How did you get that?"
His friend pulls out a bottle and tells him to rub it and make a wish.
He rubs the bottle, and a puff of smoke pops out and tells him that he can have one wish.
So the man thinks and says, "I wish I had a million bucks."
The genie says, "OK, go outside, and your wish will be granted."
The man goes outside, but all he finds are ducks filling the street, rooftops and sky.
He goes back in and tells his friend what happened.
His friend replies, "Did you really think I wanted a 12-inch pianist?"
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There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes, so one evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, "I've had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do. I memorized all the state capitals." One of the guys, of course, said, "I don't believe you. What is the capital of Nevada?" "N," she answered...
A child asked his mother, "How were people born?" So the mom said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to father and asked him the same question and he said, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to mom and said, "You lied to me!" The mother replied, "No, your dad was talking about his side of the family."
That capital joke reminds me of another one I heard a long time ago:
When Vanna White dies, do you think her family will receive a lot of touching letters?
When Vanna White dies, do you think her family will receive a lot of touching letters?
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I know your post was addressed exclusively to me, swach, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to disappoint you and admit I have no idea who Vanna White is or how best I can answer your question regarding her demise.
Yrs,
Muppet
Yrs,
Muppet
*wonders if you're also blessed enough not to know the likes of Patti Stanger, Kendra Wilkinson, Mamma June. . . .
Consider yourself lucky. "Reality" show stars. I don't watch the shows, but do sometimes have to endure the ANNOYING commercials about them.
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