Feeling Guilty About Writing

More productive? Sure, if you're neglecting kids or shirking domestic or business responsibilities, but if its your lesiure time you're using, its your lesiure time. Its not meant to be productive, it's leisure.

What would you be otherwise doing? Watching TV?

You're allowed to follow and satisfy your writerly desires.

Something...more productive than writing? While I'm still trying to come to terms with that concept, I'll address the time thing.

Writing is important to you. You absolutely should have the time and space to do things that are important to you--as should he. You can try to schedule both your "me" times so that he goes off and plays his guitar or reads or visits a friend while you write, and/or cultivate the fine art of doing different things together, like he catches up on a TV show you don't care about while you put white noise on your headphones and work.

But you should never feel guilty about finding time to do something important. Because you are important.

I've never had a problem with indulgence but there you go, that's coming from a 26-year-old single man who is perhaps a little too happy in his own company.

Honestly, though, writing is a worthy pursuit. Some people even call it lofty or noble, but I'll leave that to you. As someone just said it's certainly more rewarding than watching television or lounging around. And while it may not seem as important as doing the chores, it is far more stimulating and creative and satisfying I think. If you really like writing, this could even be seen as a second career path for you, regardless of whether you make money from it or not. And even if not, it is still an enjoyable hobby and it's both educational and entertaining. So if that's indulging yourself, then indulge away! You have literally no one to answer to but yourself, you are your own keeper! If writing was getting in the way of your personal life then perhaps it would be a problem, but that's not the case with you.

I'm sure this guilt will pass. I only ever feel guilty if I'm not writing and I'm in the middle of a big project!

It's funny...I feel the complete opposite. I feel guilty when I DON'T spend enough time out of my week writing. Like if I am doing other things, I think I could be more productive right now by working on my book. I can understand from an opposing perspective that it's hard to juggle everything going on in life, especially when any kind of relationship is thrown in the mix.

My advice is just do what makes you happy. If you'd rather be spending time with your husband, spend time with your husband. If you'd rather be cooking, cook. Don't force yourself to write if you don't want to. It should never be that much of a chore. And when you really do want to write, write!

Use time that you have to write something. Somewhere in Learning To Write With Uncle Jim he discusses BIC (butt in chair) and writing something everyday. Or when you can find time to write. Ideas such as a few paragraphs at lunch are brought up. I sometimes dictate as I drive, use a recorder and pay attention to driving. Expressing your ideas and creativity should not be a guilt trip, but a time of enjoyment. I wasted years not writing because I was afraid of my work, when I read it for editing I am surprised at how good it is. I lost so many good ideas and potential novels because of the fear that I was writing at A level when I considered myself a C level scribbler.
Don't let the time go by without writing. Find time and do not be hesitant to write, sometimes thoughts are lost when not saved.

Do you feel guilty for taking the time to read a book? Did anyone important in your formative years give you the idea that artistic pursuits are a waste of time? That it isn't a legitimate pursuit?

Time to change your thinking a bit. If you are writing, then you are being productive in the truest form of the word. You are producing a written work, and when it's done, you can look at it and say "I made this!" Of course it's good to make certain we all take time to be with our families, friends, and furbabies, but taking time for your own pursuits is not in any way selfish. We all deserve some time to do what makes us happy, whether that's writing, knitting, or playing a video game. It's only when we ignore the rest of the world that we need to readjust our time spent of those pursuits.

I have so been here.

I'll say this. I didn't write until I was fifty. I didn't think I could ever be good enough, and I felt I had other priorities that were more important.

It took watching half of my adult life pass to realize that if I didn't do this now, I never would. The second half of it would have no more books written than the first. And I'd die broken-hearted over it.

That's what it took for me. Do you want/need to wait that long? How bad do you want to write? Only you can answer those questions.

JulianneQJohnson said:

Do you feel guilty for taking the time to read a book? Did anyone important in your formative years give you the idea that artistic pursuits are a waste of time? That it isn't a legitimate pursuit?

Time to change your thinking a bit. If you are writing, then you are being productive in the truest form of the word. You are producing a written work, and when it's done, you can look at it and say "I made this!" Of course it's good to make certain we all take time to be with our families, friends, and furbabies, but taking time for your own pursuits is not in any way selfish. We all deserve some time to do what makes us happy, whether that's writing, knitting, or playing a video game. It's only when we ignore the rest of the world that we need to readjust our time spent of those pursuits.

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This.

For a long time, I made excuses about being too busy to write, but writing makes me happy. I cut back on hobbies like crocheting, TV watching, etc. to make the time. I also write during my lunch break at work. When I'm doing housework or homework I'm thinking about writing. Sometimes I feel guilty if I get wrapped up in the writing and forget to vacuum the floor, but on the whole, no.

ivylass said:

I think that's it...I don't feel worthy enough. So maybe deep down inside I feel like I'm wasting my time. But I wrote another 1700 words today, so the well isn't dry yet!

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My husband can sense when I haven't been writing. I get snippy with him, so I like to think of writing as my own personal therapy session . Honestly, the more complicated my life has gotten with other things, the better I am at focusing on one thing at a time, whether its time with my husband, playing with my kids, working, or sitting down to write. It's more about quality time than quantity time, I think, and that goes with the relationships in my life and the goals I set for myself professionally. And if you really like to write, allow yourself to think professionally. You deserve the time to practice, which is what writing is. Best wishes!

It's your life, and you only get one. Make it a good one. Your leisure time is your leisure time! And if it's indulgent, who cares Eat cake, take naps, write books. There are worse things to indulge in!

i feel the same way sometimes, like i'm just wasting my time on this. but i try to remind myself that we're all going to die anyway so anything that seems like it's more important right this minute won't matter next week or next year. so importance is all in your mind. whatever you feel is important is important. if that's writing, good. if that's doing laundry, good.

ivylass said:

I think that's it...I don't feel worthy enough. So maybe deep down inside I feel like I'm wasting my time. But I wrote another 1700 words today, so the well isn't dry yet!

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Do you enjoy it? Then do it. Stop worrying about other people (which is ultimately what dictates your "worthiness") and just do what you love when you love it. I learned a lot about happiness when I just lived for me and not anyone else.

ivylass said:

Any tips on getting past feeling guilty about writing?

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Having a loved one on board is vitally important to a creative in pursuit of their vision, and yet we still manage to self-sabotage, don't we?

Steven Pressfield, author of The Legend of Bagger Vance has a lot to say about this on his blog:

http://www.stevenpressfield.com/2010/08/the-ego-and-the-self/

ivylass said:

I think that's it...I don't feel worthy enough. So maybe deep down inside I feel like I'm wasting my time.

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Same as computer games then Not worthy, wasting time but so much fun
Maybe in the evenings when you are both watching tv, only you can also have a laptop with you and type away. My other half often says the funniest things and I don't mind exchanging a word with him while writing. You are still spending time together and you could even have small talk, so that he doesn't feel neglected.

ivylass said:

I bang away at my story once a week. Any more than that and I feel guilty, like I'm indulging myself, when I could be doing something more productive or spending time with my husband. It's not that my husband is unsupportive. In fact, I announced to him this weekend that I wanted to work on my story and he was fine with it. But I feel guilty nonetheless.

Any tips on getting past feeling guilty about writing?

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DON'T WRITE---FOR ONE WEEK. Carry a pad and paper around with you and keep track of ALL THE TIME that you spend doing frivolous nothingness. Once you see the long list of wasted time you will be able to justify your writing time. Trust me...we all waste miles of time.

KTC said:

DON'T WRITE---FOR ONE WEEK. Carry a pad and paper around with you and keep track of ALL THE TIME that you spend doing frivolous nothingness. Once you see the long list of wasted time you will be able to justify your writing time. Trust me...we all waste miles of time.

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This is fabulous advice.

and that's awesome that Ivylad gets it!

clek25 said:

It's funny...I feel the complete opposite. I feel guilty when I DON'T spend enough time out of my week writing.

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Same. Nothing feels as good as blowing the daily word count out of the park and guilt smashes me in the face when (like last night) I indulged in a movie with the family instead.

(Did I just admit that on a writing forum?? )


Seriously though, I don't get into tv shows and there are very few movies I like, so evenings are my sacred writing time. When I pass that up for a dumb movie I feel lame.

I feel like this a lot.

I can do a lot of work for my job from home, so I often feel like I should be doing that instead of writing.

I don't feel that way with leisure activities, because I can reason I need that "me" time to relax and unwind.

Writing isn't relaxing for me. It's still work. Work that I want to do, but I have trouble managing my time to do it.