Inner critic making me self-conscious

eruthford said:

I am trying to write a travel memoir right now. My inner critic says two things. One is, "Why are you writing all these useless details in summary? Sure, it's the history of the story, but people aren't going to care about it unless it's in scene."

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That seems like a positive self-criticism. You need to figure out which way is best. But don't let it block you. Write it one way, putting in as many details as you think of. Then write it the other way or pare it down. Then pick the one you like the most.

And the other thing the inner critic says is, "The problems you were going through during this time were all so sissy. You were privileged and white, and nobody cares that you were frustrated about girls. Nobody cares that you wanted to be a good boy and follow your religion's rules on virginity."

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Some people will write about struggling with a learning disability. That's not as awful as a story of someone subjected to medical experiments against their will. That's not as significant as a hero fighting to defeat the evil villain and free millions from suffering. It's not a competition. Readers are likely to want to read about the challenges most relevant to them, not necessarily the most difficult.

eruthford said:

I am trying to write a travel memoir right now. My inner critic says two things. One is, "Why are you writing all these useless details in summary? Sure, it's the history of the story, but people aren't going to care about it unless it's in scene."

And the other thing the inner critic says is, "The problems you were going through during this time were all so sissy. You were privileged and white, and nobody cares that you were frustrated about girls. Nobody cares that you wanted to be a good boy and follow your religion's rules on virginity."

Eric

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Having traveled a lot and written blog postings about the travel, I can identify with this. But, I'm not sure I understand why you refer to them as "useless details." When you were traveling, I assume you were engaged in the daily activities of the travel in some way: food, clothing, an observed difference between your culture and the one you are traveling. Further, I assume there was a reason why you traveled and that reason excited you. Today, you look back on your travel as a great time - and that's what you want to show in your writing. Ignore the inner critic - what does he know?

I've been following your writing in another thread - and as I posted recently, I think you are finally starting to put some emotion into your writing. I see a strong link between the topic you've posted about in the other thread and this comment about your religion's rules on virginity. This is some very deep and strongly emotional stuff - and yes, a large part of it is spirituality. In this case, can you write something that goes beyond the written belief statement about maintaining one's virginity until marriage and dig deep into your own relationship with God. I would want to know whatever heart-wrenching events you went through as it sounds as though your belief's were challenged.

Actually, unwittingly, you have made me want to read more.

Though nothing works 100% of the time (and sometimes that pesky voice has some useful things to say), I can sometimes get myself moving by telling myself that no one ever has to see what I'm writing. I'm just writing for me, and if it turns out that badly, no other living soul ever has to see it. By the time I'm done, though, I usually kind of want other people to see it. The bad stuff I bury, but I feel better about myself knowing I pushed through and got it all down. Hopefully, you will, too.

I give a pen, crayons, and lots of rubber to my inner child and let them go wild with experimentation. Release all that creativity on a white page and hope for the best. Don't worry too much about sounding good, about having a chance to be published, or any of those things. Just let go and have fun with it.

An inner editor can be useful--to a point. These may be the biggest hurdles you need to overcome with your book, and your mind is going to keep reminding you until you listen. So making notes inline (in red or blue or whatever) may help.

Or it could be a determined course of self-sabotage. That happens, too. Unfortunately, other than counseling, which is expensive (but it might be worth it if you can afford it), you're going to have to figure out your own mind. Or perhaps you have a friend or relative you can bounce this off of.

You'll have to decide if listening to the inner editor is productive or not. It can cut both ways.

Worst case, write drunk and see if it's any good, just to move past this.