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Confidence

LJD

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What do you do when you completely lose confidence in your writing ability?
 

Tsu Dho Nimh

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Write an essay on why I lost confidence, of course.

Start writing a screed and polemic on why and how my writing sucks.

Get up and go do some gardening or clean the cat's litter box.
 

Grayson Moon

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When I lose confidence in my writing ability, it usually means I need to stop revising the first chapter. So I stop revising the first chapter.
 

Aggy B.

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Take a long walk and a few days or weeks away from writing.

Then I sit down and try and figure out what I've lost confidence about. And why that's happened. (FREX: my plots feel stale OR didn't I just write these same characters OR my dialog suddenly feels forced. And I'm feeling that way because I'm not selling work like I did a year ago OR I just read this other author's work and it just seemed so much better OR someone I think is less skilled at the craft is selling more than I am so maybe I'm just delusional.)

Solutions are not always easy. Leveling up usually means recognizing you've plateaued as a writer. And that, invariably, brings a shit ton of angst and doubt. Depending on your personality and work methods you might just take a break, read some good books, come back to it once you don't feel so stabby. Or work to push through. Challenge yourself to do something different (even if the different is actually crap because trying new things). Write something silly or super-serious. Mimic your favorite author. Reread old work and compare it to where you are now and look for what has improved and what hasn't.

A break is rarely a bad idea. The things you love will draw you back. And if they don't then it's probably time to move on. And I don't mean that in a snotty way. But if writing is something you really need and want to do, then you can take a break and come back to it refreshed, with the creative well refilled and it will be great. And if you take a break and then try to come back and it's still just a horrible struggle and you don't love it at all because it feels like everything you write is crap then maybe you need a longer break and a different activity for a while.

I've had some serious doubts about my writing skills throughout the years, but I've only had a couple of times where I just couldn't write anything. Because even when I felt like I was writing crap, I could still write something stupid and enjoy it. Even if it was only meant for me. Obviously, YMMV in this regard. But you would be amazed at what a conscious week long break can do for you. (And I mean, setting it aside deliberately. Not the "I keep sitting down to write and not much happens and it's been X amount of time." Take a deliberate vacation where you don't write for seven days and see where you are.)
 

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Read a piece by another writer that you consider brilliant and that really resonates with you, rewrite it using your flair and style, then throw it away with the realization you could have written that. Another idea... take one of your first stories, select the best few paragraphs and rewrite it. At the end you will realize just how far you have come.
 

eqb

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Usually I whine to my friends** then take a nap, remember to each lunch, go for a walk, or watch a good movie. I also keep a folder that I call my Good News folder. It contains fan mail, or email from friends who have taken the time to tell me what they love about my writing. Things like that.

** Note, this part might require a few hours, or sometimes a few days.
 

writeonleanne

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Going through something like this right now.

I give myself a break whenever I lose confidence, and either lose myself in a videogame for a little bit or read fluff that I enjoy but doesn't require a lot of brain power. Taking a break always helps me approach what I'm having a problem with with fresh eyes.

Or I'll work on a different project. I usually lose confidence when I've been too deep in editing a story. Creating something new usually helps reboot my creativity.
 

Myrealana

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Bake a cake.

Talk to my kids, my husband, my mom, my brother.

Read something I wrote in the past and really liked. < -- That solves it more often than not. I have some stories I've written that I truly, truly love. They haven't received that same love from publishers or readers, but as long as they still move me, they help.
 
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LJD

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At this point, I think mine is just too deep-seated for anything to make a difference, to be honest.
 

Undercover

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I see you have a lot of books under your belt. It shows you must love writing to some degree. Losing confidence happens to every single writer, even the best sellers. I wouldn't give up just yet. Like others have said, take time to do other things. And when you're ready to go back to writing, hopefully you'll feel better about it.
 

Jason

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It sounds egotistical, but I have an "I love me" wall. It's a section of the wall in my office that holds all my certifications, degrees, diplomas, honors, and such. Whenever the confidence is waning, I look at that wall.

In the interests of full disclosure - it's not a full​ wall. Just a corner of it with the bric-a-brac displayed for all time! :)
 

Loverofwords

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Honestly, I think you should just keep writing. Part of writing is questioning your own talent and skill, and that's never going to disappear. You've read your writing a million times by now (excuse the hyperbole) and you know how it operates, so of course it might start to grow a little bland or lackluster to you. We're our worst critics.

You just gotta keep going.

P.S. Read about some successful authors and their doubts with their own writing. Nobody thinks their writing is perfect, or even great. Even the #1 NYT bestsellers think their writing is trash sometimes.
 
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writeonleanne

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Is there anyone who you can talk to about your writing? I mean a friend or loved one who enjoys you work and who can give you honest, but positive, feedback? When I'm feeling down about my work I hit up friends who have read my novel and beg them to tell me everything that works and what they like about it. Then I ask them to tell me what still needs work. But it's sometimes helpful to talk to someone else who can have the confidence for you.
 

LJD

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Is there anyone who you can talk to about your writing? I mean a friend or loved one who enjoys you work and who can give you honest, but positive, feedback? When I'm feeling down about my work I hit up friends who have read my novel and beg them to tell me everything that works and what they like about it. Then I ask them to tell me what still needs work. But it's sometimes helpful to talk to someone else who can have the confidence for you.

No, sadly, there is no one who has confidence in me who has actually read my work. My husband and father believe in some kind of nebulous way, but they won't read my books. I don't have any good writing friends. I was at a writing conference once and an author was getting an award, someone whose books I really like. And she was talking about her doubts, and how everyone needs that one person who believes in them, and I burst into tears, because I have no one.
 

Marian Perera

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I was at a writing conference once and an author was getting an award, someone whose books I really like. And she was talking about her doubts, and how everyone needs that one person who believes in them, and I burst into tears, because I have no one.

I disagree with the bolded part. I don't have anyone who believes in my writing, but if I needed this, I'd have given up a long time ago (probably around the time I confided in my mother that I'd written a novel, and did she want to take a look? "When it's in the front window of Barnes and Noble." And even then, she wouldn't have read it, because the only books she liked were Elvis and Me, Jackie Oh and the Bible.)

I think it's wonderful to have someone who believes in you, but not everyone needs this.
 
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Tsu Dho Nimh

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Dunning-Kruger ... the only writers who don't lose confidence in their skill are the really bad ones! They are so bad they don't know they are bad.

Maybe it means you are aware at a low level that you are coasting and not trying to write better?
 

andiwrite

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Keep going. I know 99% of my writing sucks, but if I keep rewriting it long enough, I eventually get long sections where I get lost in the story and forget I even wrote it. That's the goal. So, there really is no answer other than keeping on.

As far as being confident that other people would like/buy my work, I've learned to give up on that dream at this point. It's okay if I never sell much. That can't be the goal, or I'll become depressed. I've accepted that I'm doing this for me.
 

LJD

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I disagree with the bolded part. I don't have anyone who believes in my writing, but if I needed this, I'd have given up a long time ago (probably around the time I confided in my mother that I'd written a novel, and did she want to take a look? "When it's in the front window of Barnes and Noble." And even then, she wouldn't have read it, because the only books she liked were Elvis and Me, Jackie Oh and the Bible.)

I think it's wonderful to have someone who believes in you, but not everyone needs this.

It seems like everyone in the romance world has all these other close romance writer friends/critique partners they talk to several times a week, etc. Or maybe that is an illusion.

It annoys me when people say things like "the readers make it worth it!" or they go read their positive reviews when they're feeling down. Because, um, I don't think I have any readers. (Except on Wattpad, I suppose.) So that advice just depresses me more.
 

LJD

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As far as being confident that other people would like/buy my work, I've learned to give up on that dream at this point. It's okay if I never sell much. That can't be the goal, or I'll become depressed. I've accepted that I'm doing this for me.

*sigh* Yeah, I do have goals. Rather modest, I think. Perhaps I should just completely stop hoping. But I don't think I can do that :(

If I knew for sure that I'd never have more success than I have right now (a bunch of books published by small presses that don't sell at all), I would probably quit writing.

I miss the feeling of being good at something.
 
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Marian Perera

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It seems like everyone in the romance world has all these other close romance writer friends/critique partners they talk to several times a week, etc. Or maybe that is an illusion.

I don't. None of my IRL friends read romance novels, and although I know a few people online who I'd go to if I needed feedback on a draft, we don't talk several times a week.

IMO, if you compare yourself to others who have more friends, more fans, more reviews, more sales, etc. you'll end up down, every time.
 

Marian Perera

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Challenge yourself to do something different (even if the different is actually crap because trying new things). Write something silly or super-serious.

Some time ago, when I felt this way, I wrote fanfics. Quite a lot of them. And it was an fascinating experience, because I felt free to play as much as I liked. In terms of technique alone, I wrote in present tense (which I hadn't done before) and from perspectives I'd never tried. I even experimented with short chapters that were all dialogue, not even speech tags. If I'm ever in a serious slump again, I'll return to this.
 

MAS

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A quote from Anne Enright in The Guardian:
In the long run we are all dead, and none of us is Proust. You must recognise that failure is 90% emotion, 10% self-fulfilling reality, and the fact that we are haunted by it is neither here nor there.

From a lengthy article in The Guardian in which a number of highly regarded authors reflect on not being "good enough." You are in excellent company. I agree, though, that having someone else who believes in you does make it easier. When you lose faith in yourself, it's wonderful to have someone else to help prop you up until you get your own feet underneath you again. But in the end it's you, and only you.

You sound tired and dispirited. Sometimes getting a good chunk of extra sleep can re-charge your batteries. Or doing something that you love other than writing. Maybe spend a day in a museum, filling your mind with art or history or whatever interests you. Or can you find an inexpensive writing conference/weekend/class not too far from home? My own critique group started with a few of us who attended a writing conference together -- we liked each other and decided to try forming our own critique group, and we're still together after about 25 years (some original members gone, of course, and new ones have joined from time to time). They help me in so many ways, and have become the family of my heart.

The link to the Guardian article, if you are interested (sorry, I'm not much good at hyperlinks):
https://www.theguardian.com/books/2013/jun/22/falling-short-writers-reflect-failure

Hugs and sympathy.




 

deafblindmute

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It seems to me like you're being super hard on yourself for a multitude of reasons. I haven't successfully published much of anything yet. I'm in a pretty tough boat myself. What keeps me afloat, though, is sheer drive and ambition. The pursuit of success keeps me reaching for success, and that alone.

That, and I go out a lot with friends when I'm ready to just flail on the floor. That helps.
 

R.T James

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CC and Ginger...

Reflect, tap my hand against the table.. Start another story get bored go back to the other one.


Signed,

Mr. James
 
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