Using the same word in multiple concurrent sentences - does it bug you?

#badwriting. It always bugs me. One of the lovely things about being old is you don't have to read #badwriting. Life is too short.

If I notice it, it bothers me.

If I don't, the author's a better writer than I (though that applies to 99% of the population, including the illiterate members, so take that as you will...)

Like someone with OCD, it bugs me.

It depends. Some words are invisible so the repetition doesn't get noticed and it's not an issue. In the example in the OP, it's definitely an issue and one that I'd say was down to a writer's lack of imagination, so yep, that would totally annoy me.

That said, when writers notice certain words are overused and go through and replace them with synonyms then that's sometimes even worse. Overuse of words can often be an indication of other problems in the writing that need to be fixed with rephrases or cutting out redundant sentences and parts of sentences. For example: overuse of "said" probably means you have too many dialogue tags. Only keep in those that are necessary and consider replacing some (not all!!) with action beats. Just going through and changing 95% of the "said"s to synonyms will make it worse. Also, overuse of words related to seeing, hearing, touching, sensing etc is an indication of too much filtering. Consider removing all or most of the filtering. Replacing these words with more varied and interesting words for whatever sense is overused will just create filtering that's even more distracting.

Also there's the thing where someone changes a common, everyday noun that's invisible for a really garish, unusual synonym to avoid repetition. 99% of people wouldn't have noticed the repetition because the word's so common but now everyone gets tripped up by the crazy synonym.

Bugs the hell out of me if it isn't obviously done for effect.

There are various devices which use repetition; "fight" doesn't jump out and slap me in Winston Churchill's famous (in UK anyway) speech, quite the opposite in fact:-

"We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills, we shall never surrender."

It can easily be done by mistake though, in the OP's example the writer could have originally written something like "he stared into her eyes then he coldly told her that..." then in a future revision (which may be months or even years later) simply think oh, I think he should stare coldly without reading the whole context and change it to "he stared coldly into her eyes then he coldly told her that..." and it becomes ugly.

Bacchus said:

Bugs the hell out of me if it isn't obviously done for effect.

There are various devices which use repetition; "fight" doesn't jump out and slap me in Winston Churchill's famous (in UK anyway) speech

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That's speech-writing. Also, Churchill. Different thing entirely - as you say.

It depends on the word, and on why the word is used. Done poorly, it's bad. Done well, it's a very effective manner of writing.

Jamesaritchie said:

It depends on the word, and on why the word is used. Done poorly, it's bad. Done well, it's a very effective manner of writing.

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OP gave us an example though. It was pretty definitively bad writing.

Repetition is fine if it's done correctly as a rhetorical device. Unintentional repetition (usually as a result of laziness on the writer's part, or else an unconscious word habit) (there is a particular well-known fantasy writer who is fond--very, very fond--of using "quietly" in his dialogue tags.) is something to watch out for, by the writer and by the writer's editor. Both of them appeared to be have been asleep on the job in the example the OP quoted.

It depends on the usage of the word, how far apart, if it seems like it make sense in context...

But almost always yes.

Yes, it bothers me a lot.

It bugs me too, unless we're talking about words like "and" "the" "a" and so on. Sometimes there really isn't an alternative word that works, though, and rewording the sentence to write around the issue can create convoluted prose (or use of rather ridiculous or obscure synonyms that don't quite fit). I've spent long, agonizing sessions trying to reword a segment where I don't have to use the word "door" 2-3 times, for instance. Door is rather sparse on equivalent and commonly used synonyms. "Portal" simply doesn't have the same connotation.

However, I've been running across this issue in more novels lately, and I can't help rewriting the sentences in my head so that the overuse of the word in question is avoided. It's especially maddening when context (and a moment of a copy editor's time) would allow a simple "it" (or a personal pronoun) to replace the second usage of a noun or name.

Waaay back in the day, before I'd even heard of MS Word (although it was probably around), I used a program called Wordperfect, and word repetition was part of its standard spelling/grammar scan. i.e. "You've used the word 'bugaboo' six times within five sentences," or "You started four consecutive sentences with the word 'The.'"

I'd have to sit there (sans internet, so I had no easy way to seek advice) and decide "is this too much? Which ones do I change? How do I change them?"

That tool was, for me, the single most beneficial element of any grammar check I've ever encountered. It forced me to think about every word, and honed my then-budding writing skills no end.

ETA: Add me to the people who think that, used purposefully and well, repetition can be an amazing tool. It's when it's done unintentionally that people run into problems.

Jamesaritchie said:

It depends on the word, and on why the word is used. Done poorly, it's bad. Done well, it's a very effective manner of writing.

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BethS said:

Repetition is fine if it's done correctly as a rhetorical device. Unintentional repetition (usually as a result of laziness on the writer's part, or else an unconscious word habit) (there is a particular well-known fantasy writer who is fond--very, very fond--of using "quietly" in his dialogue tags.) is something to watch out for, by the writer and by the writer's editor. Both of them appeared to be have been asleep on the job in the example the OP quoted.

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mrsmig said:

Agreed that repetition can be a powerful tool, when used deliberately and sparingly. But what the OP quoted is "echoing" and to be avoided. It can, and should, be caught and corrected with a careful proofread.


- mrsmig, who has been editing lately and finding that kind of error more often than she'd like to admit

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Maryn said:

It bothers me greatly unless it's a deliberate writing device. I do catch myself at it during edits, but I think I remove enough to limit offense to readers.

Maryn, echoing others

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neandermagnon said:

It depends. Some words are invisible so the repetition doesn't get noticed and it's not an issue. In the example in the OP, it's definitely an issue and one that I'd say was down to a writer's lack of imagination, so yep, that would totally annoy me.

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Count me in with the "it depends" group. The example given was definitely a case where it doesn't work, but it can be very effective at times. Like if everything in a scene is "dead", it could be an effective way of setting tone, showing the mindset of the character and what they see, foreshadowing, etc.

When it's done on purpose, and done well, it works.

Usually, though, it's not done by conscious choice, and yes, it bugs me. It can ruin the rhythm of the prose.

It bothers me when I have to write that multiple people are standing in different places and it turns out there's no synonym for the word "stand." So certain people end up "huddled" and the rest are simply "gathered."

Yes.

(I catch myself doing it a lot...)

Grayson Moon said:

It bothers me when I have to write that multiple people are standing in different places and it turns out there's no synonym for the word "stand." So certain people end up "huddled" and the rest are simply "gathered."

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Yes. This is something I look for in one of my rounds of editing. There's always an alternative word.

Yep. It bothers me. And yep, in my newly published short story, I use "fascinated" twice within two sentences. It snuck under five billion rounds of editing, by myself and my editor... but as soon as it was in print and too late? BOOM, SUCKER.

With the passage that the OP gave; it would definitively bother me. I search for that mistake in my writing as I'm prone to doing that by mistake. However, I do agree that, at time, it is useful when done properly.

Yes.

As many others have said, intentional repetition done well enhances prose.

However, constant unintentional repeats make me want to bounce the book off the nearest wall.