Everyone I Know Is Terrified

KateSmash

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If anyone else has the notion to play respectability politics or bring up the anti-Trump protests in a disparaging way, take a good hard look at what the supporters are up to. Then look us queers, POC, and Muslims and Jewish people in the eye and tell us we're overreacting.

(And for those whose fear is still high, my loves, then please don't look. And know I'm hugging you from afar.)
 
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AW Admin

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If anyone else has the notion to play respectability politics or bring up the anti-Drumpf protests in a disparaging way, take a good hard look at what the supporters are up to. Then look us queers, POC, and Muslims and Jewish people in the eye and tell us we're overreacting.

(And for those whose fear is still high, my loves, then please don't look. And know I'm hugging you from afar.)

I'm asking people to not use disparaging terms like Trumpies or Drumpf. We take the high road; let them take the low road.

From the point of view of rhetoric, when you are both precisely courteous and direct, you undermine the other person's authority, by explicitly being courteous, consequently lending gravitas to your own statement.

This is one of the reasons why teachers refer to students using Mr or Ms. It's part of why parents use Sara Jane MacDonald when Sara is about to be in trouble.

ETA: It also makes a really positive impression on judges when we counter file law suits that we remain courteous.
 
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MaeZe

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If anyone else has the notion to play respectability politics or bring up the anti-Drumpf protests in a disparaging way, take a good hard look at what the supporters are up to. Then look us queers, POC, and Muslims and Jewish people [and straights who care about them] in the eye and tell us we're overreacting.

(And for those whose fear is still high, my loves, then please don't look. And know I'm hugging you from afar.)

Then look us queers, POC, and Muslims and Jewish people and straights who care about them in the eye and tell us we're overreacting.

Don't leave me out. :)

Besides, white women were also targeted in this mess. Unfortunately once again, we may have been our own worst enemy if the exit polls are valid.
 

Mrs-Q

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I will follow these forum's rules, but I am very angry that it is socially acceptable (in general; maybe not here) to advocate for violence against minorities as long as it is stated in a formal register.
 

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I will follow these forum's rules, but I am very angry that it is socially acceptable (in general; maybe not here) to advocate for violence against minorities as long as it is stated in a formal register.

Mrs-Q

I can't do much about what happens anywhere else on the 'net, but thank you for following the forum rules here.
 

KateSmash

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and straights who care about them in the eye and tell us we're overreacting.

Don't leave me out. :)

You do realize this is the QUILTBAG forum, right?
 

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Then look us queers, POC, and Muslims and Jewish people and straights who care about them in the eye and tell us we're overreacting.

Don't leave me out. :)

Besides, white women were also targeted in this mess. Unfortunately once again, we may have been our own worst enemy if the exit polls are valid.

I will point out that the A in QUILTBAG represents both Ally and Asexual.

I will also note that anyone who hasn't read both the stickies in this forum and The Newbie Guide to Absolute Write should do that sharpish, like.

- - - Updated - - -

You do realize this is the QUILTBAG forum, right?

Again, A is for both Ally and Asexual. Read the stickies.
 

MaeZe

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I just did this half an hour ago. Please don't be like me.

I am confused how our posts were the same. I'm not asking anyone to not speak up. I'm just saying I feel the same. It's a matter (to use a different metaphor) of saying black lives matter to me too. I'm most definitely not trying to change that to, white lives matter.

I do hope that's how it read.
 

MaeZe

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You do realize this is the QUILTBAG forum, right?
Yes, and some people I care very much about are gay.

If I'm not following the stickies, it's inadvertent. Feel free to delete any of my posts if they are inappropriate. I'll just read passively for a while.
 

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Yes, and some people I care very much about are gay.

If I'm not following the stickies, it's inadvertent. Feel free to delete any of my posts if they are inappropriate. I'll just read passively for a while.

You're fine. Mac and I are the mods here, so read and be welcome. Allys are good. And I've got an awful lot of straight friends and family that are dear to me.

And on that note, I want to leave this here:

Speak Up: Responding to Every Day Bigotry
 

maxmordon

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A young gay Canadian has been reported to have been attacked by Trump supporters in Santa Monica. WARNING: THE PICTURE IS GRAPHIC. Here's one of the few links I could find so far.

A few months ago when I visited the US I remember how liberating was for me, a young queer person who has never managed to live out in his life. I probably have never been happier and, to me, it became something of an ideal. A place I could aspire if I worked hard enough and got my act together. Now I don't have that. Now I'm having second guesses on the idea of establishing myself in the US in the future. Me, and probably many queer people around the globe, who sees the US as not perfect but certainly an improvement from home also fear, no doubt.

I had this idea on perhaps migrating on 2017 to the US, even if only for a couple of years, but now I'm having second thoughts about it...
 

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A young gay Canadian has been reported to have been attacked by Trump supporters in Santa Monica. WARNING: THE PICTURE IS GRAPHIC. Here's one of the few links I could find so far.

A few months ago when I visited the US I remember how liberating was for me, a young queer person who has never managed to live out in his life. I probably have never been happier and, to me, it became something of an ideal. A place I could aspire if I worked hard enough and got my act together. Now I don't have that. Now I'm having second guesses on the idea of establishing myself in the US in the future. Me, and probably many queer people around the globe, who sees the US as not perfect but certainly an improvement from home also fear, no doubt.

I had this idea on perhaps migrating on 2017 to the US, even if only for a couple of years, but now I'm having second thoughts about it...

I'm a little suspicious. Santa Monica is about as queer friendly city as you could find outside of San Francisco. I lived there until about eight years ago.

I'm still running a LGBT email list for people there, and no one has been able to verify this. And the blood does not look right, as my friend the ER nurse who was on duty that night, says.

I also note that there would have been people pretty much everywhere there; even at 2 AM there are people. There is no police report, by the way.

So I'm not sure that's real yet. Might be, might not.
 

ElaineA

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I would like to be an ally. I can't promise to be perfect and I'm sure I will make mistakes, but I am willing to learn. I will try to do my best...You're not alone and you have a right to your feelings. We're hurting with you, even if not in the same way.

This is me, said better than I could. I don't post here, well, ever, but I do read the threads and I have learned so much since joining AW by being able to quietly listen. I still don't quite trust myself not to...what did Ari say?...screw up in my zeal, but what I can try to do is support my LGBTQ friends and family members, first by doing it right (listening), and then, hopefully, by doing it well. I have this place to thank for helping me understand a lot of things I didn't before. Thank you all for being patient educators.
 
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maxmordon

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I'm a little suspicious. Santa Monica is about as queer friendly city as you could find outside of San Francisco. I lived there until about eight years ago.

Ii did seem iffy to me that the only outlets talking about it are, as far as I could see, tabloids or tabloid-like websites. My bad.
 

be frank

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This is me, said better than I could. I don't post here, well, ever, but I do read the threads and I have learned so much since joining AW by being able to quietly listen. I still don't quite trust myself not to...what did Ari say?...screw up in my zeal, but what I can try to do is support my LGBTQ friends and family members, first by doing it right (listening), and then, hopefully, by doing it well. I have this place to thank for helping me understand a lot of things I didn't before. Thank you all for being patient educators.

Me too.

I've started and deleted so many posts in this thread, because I'm not sure what to say. I'm still not. I have no words.

I've lost a lot of my faith in humanity over the last few days. I wake with a hollow in the pit of my stomach. I can only imagine how you folks in the States feel right now. I just want to give you all a huge hug and let you know you're not alone.

So, yeah. I've been silently lurking in this thread. But now I'm finally going to hit "Post" because silent support, whether here or in the real world, doesn't help a single damn person.

be frank,
with you in solidarity
 

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Ii did seem iffy to me that the only outlets talking about it are, as far as I could see, tabloids or tabloid-like websites. My bad.

No worries! It could be true, is the thing; it has been true in the past.

It wasn't all that long ago that UCLA made sure that LGBT students had escorts to cars and busses after an event.

And even now, you don't leave a queer bar alone and without making sure that there's no one waiting outside; that's one of the main reasons bouncers stay near the door.

- - - Updated - - -

Me too.

I've started and deleted so many posts in this thread, because I'm not sure what to say. I'm still not. I have no words.

I've lost a lot of my faith in humanity over the last few days. I wake with a hollow in the pit of my stomach. I can only imagine how you folks in the States feel right now. I just want to give you all a huge hug and let you know you're not alone.

So, yeah. I've been silently lurking in this thread. But now I'm finally going to hit "Post" because silent support, whether here or in the real world, doesn't help a single damn person.

be frank,
with you in solidarity

It's tricky, I know but people of good will are important and welcome.
 

Chasing the Horizon

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Genderqueer and I have a disability. It's not gonna be OK, I don't think. Past fear and into a kind of No Exit-style nihilism.
Yeah. I'm in a lesbian relationship, also female (obviously), and very openly pagan. This is how I feel too. Fury... nihilism... misanthropy.

I grew up in a small, very conservative town which was a microcosm of "Trump's America". I know what we're facing in the future. I actually lost a very close friend in 1999 to what I know now was gay reeducation camp. To see the threat of that on a mass scale... I don't have words because there ARE no words. The sun set on November 7th (such a beautiful and hopeful day it was too) and now I feel like it will never rise again.

I guess the only other thing I have to say is stand up and fight. Now. However and wherever you can.

Also, while I've been mostly absent from AW for a long time, I intend to be here quite regularly from now on (since Mac and AW's admin are actually capable of keeping sane, constructive discussion going in such dark times, unlike many others), and anyone who wants to talk/vent/rant can feel free to PM me. I cope more by talking/acting, while a lot of my friends cope more by distancing themselves and focusing on less horrible stuff, so I'm very much up for talking.
 

kuwisdelu

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After the Rainbow Gathering and Talking Circle tonight at the Native STEM conference I'm attending this week, I'm feeling a little bit better tonight.

Last night all I could do was cry. Today, there was a lot of crying, but it was also cathartic. Tonight was probably the most I've ever cried openly in public.

There was prayer, and blessings, and elders, and it was one of the first times I've really felt part of a two-spirit community. We talked a lot about fear, but also strength.

I'm still worried about trying to change my documents in time, but we've survived so much, and we will survive this.
 

kuwisdelu

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I've tried to be more careful and cautious since transitioning, but what I'm more afraid of than ever now is when I get ID'ed. Especially while traveling, and between visiting family and attending conferences, not traveling isn't really an option.

I'd already told my advisor that I wouldn't travel internationally to attend conferences abroad until my legal documents were updated, and now I'm worried about other states in the US, more than I used to be. I'm afraid of people policing bathrooms at the airports I land at. I'm afraid of TSA eventually refusing to accept my identification and getting stuck in a hostile state with no way home.

There's already an injectable estradiol shortage. My girlfriend is having to switch to pills because she can't get refills anymore. I know it's a privilege to have even gotten on hormones so relatively easily now compared to the gatekeeping of the past, but I'm terrified of losing all of that now.
 
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I've tried to be more careful and cautious since transitioning, but what I'm more afraid of than ever now is when I get ID'ed. Especially while traveling, and between visiting family and attending conferences, not traveling isn't really an option.

I'd already told my advisor that I wouldn't travel internationally to attend conferences abroad until my legal documents were updated, and now I'm worried about other states in the US, more than I used to be. I'm afraid of people policing bathrooms at the airports I land at. I'm afraid of TSA eventually refusing to accept my identification and getting stuck in a hostile state with no way home.

Get that passport.

But also: where are you on tribal ID? Because that's likely to be more useful.

You've got multiple identities; you're NA; you're an academic, you're queer. Network.
 
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MacAllister

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That's what networks of other queer folk are for, Kuwi. If you have to travel somewhere, have a plan B and a plan C. Have contacts on the ground in every destination who you can call for a crash space if it all goes sideways.

Your own part, of course, is being part of that network. Making sure you have crash space for a queer stranger (who checks out with mutual friends, of course) when YOU get that "oh shit" text or phone call at eleven pm from the local airport.

It's about having safety nets in place, comprised of mutual acquaintances of acquaintances, so you can bypass normal channels in extreme circumstances.
 
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kuwisdelu

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Get that passport.

But also: where are you on tribal ID? Because that's likely to be more useful.

I'll try. I need to see if there's a doctor I can see sooner than my primary care provider, so I can get a letter sooner.

I have no idea about my tribal ID. There's no system set in place for changing it, so it may be as easy as asking or it may be impossible. I'll try to find out. Probably a court order for name, like everything else, and we'll see about gender.
 

kuwisdelu

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That's what networks of other queer folk are for, Kuwi. If you have to travel somewhere, have a plan B and a plan C. Have contacts on the ground in every destination who you can call for a crash space if it all goes sideways.

Your own part, of course, is being part of that network. Making sure you have crash space for a queer stranger (who checks out with mutual friends, of course) when YOU get that "oh shit" text or phone call at eleven pm from the local airport.

You're right. Thanks.