Punctuation of Interrupted Dialogue

Fallen · Nov 24, 2016

be frank said:
No, they really aren't.

Riv's is correctly punctuated. The OP's isn't.

Roxxsmom's explanation in #23 covers it nicely.

Chase is right. This is down to stylistics so there are never any absolutes on wrong or right usage. E.g., I know one publisher's house style that asks for two variants:

"I'm gonna, gonna--" She sneezed."--be there in a minute, okay?" (Action stopped the dialogue here, so em dashes go inside dialogue.)

"I'm gonna"--she rubbed her nose--"be there in a minute." (She's talking and rubbing her nose here at the same time.)

Other publishers don't, and run with the the CMoS 6.84 guide or whichever house and style manual they're using. And those are just some US ways of presenting it.

Best advice? Just be consistent until a publisher acquires it, then trust their editor to contrast author style v house style v style manual.

be frank · Nov 24, 2016

Chase said:
Actually, there's more than one "correct" way to skin this cat. Here's another from Charles Ardai, editor-in-chief of Hard Case Crime publishing and two-time editor of Stephen King novels:

"It's great to be . . ." The door creaked open on its own. ". . . home," she said.

I am happy to be corrected by the punctuatory* wisdom of Chase.

OTOH, I consider ellipses to be a slightly different kettle of fish to em dashes. Of the thousands (and, um, thousands) of books I've read, I've never in my life seen em dashes in a continuous piece of dialogue broken by an action beat placed inside the quote marks. Never. I understand there are different house styles, but I have apparently never come across a publishing house that does it that way. (Yes, sadly I'm a reader who pays attention to such things).

(I consider the Ardai example ^^ to be a little different, because the action beat isn't happening to (or by) the person speaking. She's only observing it...)

*Not a real word, but I don't care.

guttersquid · Nov 25, 2016

Roxxsmom said:
When you insert an interrupting action mid-sentence in dialog that is briefly interrupted by said action, the em-dashes need to be outside the quotation marks.

No, actually they don't need to be. It really is either a style choice or a publisher's preference. Some rules are rigid, some aren't. This one is not.

Simone.Garick · Dec 22, 2016

evangaline said:
Would some kind soul offer their expertise on punctuation for the following excerpt? Is it correct as is or should it be changed?

“Do you know what he said when we had our last blow up? He said I wanted the company to run itself so we could ‘have passionate sex and profess our undying love to each other while—’” She fought for composure. “ ‘—while we lived happily ever after in my fairytale world.’”

In your example. the em dashes aren't quite necessary. a comma would have sufficed since it's less an interruption and more a pause. You use Em dashes when the interruption is more external.

"Barnaby old chap,. Have you by chance seen my wi--"
"--She's dead. "

A bit spartan of an example yes but enough to illustrate the point. The first speaker was cut-off by the second.

Agasin. this is sort of a flexible rule. However you choose. you should be sure to be consistent.

Old Hack · Dec 22, 2016

Simone.Garick said:
In your example. the em dashes aren't quite necessary. a comma would have sufficed since it's less an interruption and more a pause. You use Em dashes when the interruption is more external.

"Barnaby old chap,. Have you by chance seen my wi--"
"--She's dead. "

A bit spartan of an example yes but enough to illustrate the point. The first speaker was cut-off by the second.

Agasin. this is sort of a flexible rule. However you choose. you should be sure to be consistent.

I don't think a comma would have worked at all in the post you quoted, Simone. I think an em-dash is the correct thing to use in that instance. Others may disagree.

Chase · Dec 23, 2016

Old Hack said:
I don't think a comma would have worked at all in the post you quoted, Simone. I think an em-dash is the correct thing to use in that instance. Others may disagree.

Agree. Modern commas are not for pauses, breaths, or hesitations. The poster might be thinking of speaking. Commas indicated sentence structure for ease of reading. However, some commas are where natural pauses occur and fool some looking for simple rules.

WWWalt · Dec 29, 2016

Fallen said:
I know one publisher's house style that asks for two variants:

"I'm gonna, gonna--" She sneezed."--be there in a minute, okay?" (Action stopped the dialogue here, so em dashes go inside dialogue.)

"I'm gonna"--she rubbed her nose--"be there in a minute." (She's talking and rubbing her nose here at the same time.)

Other publishers don't, and run with the the CMoS 6.84 guide or whichever house and style manual they're using.

6.84 explicitly says to put the dashes outside the quotes "if the break belongs to the surrounding sentence rather than to the quoted material" (emphasis mine). Their only example, unfortunately, shows the case where the dashes are outside the quotes, but the wording of their rule strongly implies that the opposite should be done if the break does belong to the quoted material. (That is, a reasonable reading of CMOS endorses the two variants you cite.)

be frank said:
Of the thousands (and, um, thousands) of books I've read, I've never in my life seen em dashes in a continuous piece of dialogue broken by an action beat placed inside the quote marks. Never. I understand there are different house styles, but I have apparently never come across a publishing house that does it that way. (Yes, sadly I'm a reader who pays attention to such things).

You might not be as attentive as you think. Besides Fallen's personal experience to the contrary (quoted above), I have definitely seen this in books from major publishers, such as, of what I've read most most recently, a Penguin Book published in 1978.

Anyway, for reasons already beaten to death upthread, in the particular example that started this thread, inside the quotes is the more logical place to put the dashes. Several have argued that either solution is correct, but I tend to feel that if one solution is correct but another is more correct, go with the latter.

Simone.Garick said:
In your example. the em dashes aren't quite necessary. a comma would have sufficed since it's less an interruption and more a pause.

The interrupting phrase is an independent clause, so a comma would create a comma splice.

AW Admin · Dec 31, 2016

Simone.Garick said:
In your example. the em dashes aren't quite necessary. a comma would have sufficed since it's less an interruption and more a pause.

I realize that in grammar school students are often taught that a comma is used to mark a pause; this is an effort to simplify syntax for the very young.

A comma marks a unit of syntax. It is not a timing device; the fact that we often pause in oral communication when we use a comma is tied to the syntax, not the comma. The pause is an associated condition, not a driving mechanism.

Chase · Dec 31, 2016

AW Admin said:
I realize that in grammar school students are often taught that a comma is used to mark a pause; this is an effort to simplify syntax for the very young.

A comma marks a unit of syntax. It is not a timing device; the fact that we often pause in oral communication when we use a comma is tied to the syntax, not the comma. The pause is an associated condition, not a driving mechanism.

What she said. :applause:

Fallen · Dec 31, 2016

AW Admin said:
The pause is an associated condition, not a driving mechanism.

The William Shatner condition? Where I'd be, having kittens, inserting, a dramatic pause after every few... words.

Chase · Jan 1, 2017

Fallen said:
The William Shatner condition? Where I'd be, having kittens, inserting, a dramatic pause after every few... words.

Please don't . . . make fun . . . of the . . . captain.

Fallen · Jan 2, 2017

Chase said:
Please don't . . . make fun . . . of the . . . captain.

Lol, no joking around. Just an observation.

carroll · Jan 16, 2017

Sage said:
Ellipses would suggest that the character trailed off before the other spoke.

An em-dash suggests interruption.

Thank you for clarifying because I was using ellipses for interruption as well.

Punctuation of Interrupted Dialogue

Fallen

Stood at the coalface

be frank

not a bloke, not named frank

guttersquid

I agree with Roxxsmom.

Simone.Garick

Old Hack

Such a nasty woman

Chase

It Takes All of Us to End Racism

WWWalt

AW Admin

Chase

It Takes All of Us to End Racism

Fallen

Stood at the coalface

Chase

It Takes All of Us to End Racism

Fallen

Stood at the coalface

carroll