I didn't think of this before, but I did experience a version of that once as well, so I'll share, in case it helps.
Years ago I had a sudden and life-changing loss where with no warning, I found myself very much alone, in a new state, and trying to learn how to manage bills, earn money, and navigate life with no help, and I was so young then. I did make friends at church, but still didn't burden anyone with my stress since they were new friends.
But as an example, I suddenly found myself alone and with no where to go on Christmas, and didn't realize in the small town that stores would all close, so I didn't have enough food for all but one meal. I didn't think of planning that.
But I made due, but felt so lonely. The next year I planned better and also I did go help feed people at my church and try to find other things to focus off of me the next holiday season (instead of just sitting at home alone) , and tried to treat myself to special holiday traditions that I made for myself. But of course it wasn't the same.
I think at first, it was as if all the stress and just running in survival mode built up, and then when things started to get better, after several months, then it all really hit me, like I was able to let down some of the guard of just surviving and try to get back normal again, or a new normal.
Anyway, as things changed and as I felt better emotionally, my body was finally telling me to give it a break. I was physically tired.
For several months after even just finally enjoying life, physically I caught colds often, sinus infections or something almost every other week, general gastritis a few times that sent me to the ER (sick and very weak for a few days after) and just wasn't myself physically, and my thought processes just were stalled. I lived alone, so apart from someone dropping off crackers or bread when I ran out, it was just me and I didn't want to bother others.
But I was finally feeling happier, more confident despite the loss, and I couldn't figure out why I would be sick so much when I hadn't been sick or missed work before during the most stressful time (I know it doesn't always happen like this, but for me it did).
A doctor once mentioned that perhaps now that my emotional self was recovered (or on the up swing) from such a loss/stressful situation, that my physical body had to catch up and recover finally, since no matter what happened before, I had to keep going to survive, and had just run my body into the ground and on auto-pilot, not paying attention to it.
See, I had not been "sick" that entire time of loss (or ignored any versions of it), and then it hit me, physical illness, but when I was emotionally starting to feel better. It was so weird to me!
Anyway, after several months of recovering physically, my body started back to itself and a healthy balance. And guess what? I could write again. I even had a sudden wave hit me and stayed up all night once to write. This was 20 years ago, but I still love to this day what I wrote then.
So, it may not relate to you, but i find it interesting that what changed for you was a while ago, and these past few months the only difference has been things getting better (if I understood correctly). So if that is accurate, definitely don't give up. I can tell you from personal experience you may need to give it a little more time to come back, it could be your body or mind needs a little rest to catch up and balance.
Or not, but just encouraging you that what is right now may not at all be what will be in a while. And so sorry for all your loss and difficult times. But give yourself time still.
It will come back, I do believe that. Take care!
