Out with the old, in with the new

I had this happen to me - I've very attached to specific spaces, and when I left college, I couldn't find a single place in Manhattan where I was able to write.

Unfortunately, my best advice is trying a bunch of other places until they click. For me, I had to find somewhere that was quiet and well lit where I could stand up.

I doubt that my personal experience with strong habits will be of help, but I will offer it nevertheless. It includes annoyances like tobacco, alcohol, teenage crushes and depression. There is no magic solution, only a prosaic one, sort of like telling a depressed person to "cheer up".

I identify the problem as a pattern which is, if not harmful, then at least very limiting. The solution is to abandon it. I do it by brute force.

Accept the new status as inevitable in everyday life from now on. Craving tobacco? Inhale deeply and acknowledge it as inevitable part of your new life.

Temptation will come to yearn for the better times with the right desk. Register the feeling, acknowledge it as unavoidable, move on and write. Write crap if you can't write anything else. Eventually, you'll be able to write elsewhere. Don't count days to when you think you'll have recovered. As I said, lack of the old desk will be an unavoidable part of your life from now on and that will never stop. See it as an opportunity to free yourself from such irrational shackles.

So sorry to hear about the house fire. I know those can be devastating. Even though you describe this one as "small", it is obvious losing the desk was a very big loss for you.

The house my husband grew up in burned down years and years ago, and killed their pets, but at least his parents got out alive (he was away at college). They were able to rescue a few things, and restored some items for sentimental value (a desk, a piano).

I wonder, if you still have access to the burnt desk, like they did for quite a while (all burnt items or partially destroyed items went into a storage box for a while), might I suggest you consider taking a part of it?

So, for example, perhaps just the top of the desk, or even a few inches of the top if nothing else. Then find a new (or antique) desk and place it where you want to write. Can you incorporate the piece of the old desk somehow? Perhaps sand it down and refinish it, and cut out and replace part of the new desk segment with the old one?

The idea would be to have some of the memories and/or good luck you associate with writing with the old desk, as part of your new space, so it feels lucky or "at home" again. It would still be your old desk with you in some small way.

I dont know know if that would help you, or if it would even be possible, but just a thought.

And best wishes on finding your comfortable spot again!