The Rich are Different...? Wedding rings.

Really, really expensive, like most things depends on taste (and relative idea of expensive) - Tiffany's is uhm, mass market, though again, depends on the character. Someone spending bank, I'd say you're likely to go custom and a designer that does work you like, or an estate piece, but again, taste. I don't know if there's something specific that was big in the '90s. Asprey? Winston?

I know a couple of women have diamond bands they wear all the time, like this. I know people with far more money wouldn't be caught dead in something like that. Depends on the character.

Selling diamonds brings muuuuch less than was spent on them. Much, much less.

For a sense of what really expensive rings cost and how they're described, you could look at auction catalogues from Sotheby's and Christie's.

In my experience, some wealthy people can be remarkably oblivious about safety concerns and local sensibilities when they're travelling. They just assume that these are problems their staff have taken care of. So if your character is the type of person who flashes her ring all the time when she's at home, she probably won't change her behaviour when she's abroad. It depends very much on the character, though.

aruna said:

Would a married woman wear her expensive wedding ring with diamonds all the time? Her engagement ring? Even when travelling to a poor country? Might she wear them on a chain round her neck, or would that be sacrilege?

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The type of ring people get differ vastly, and I have no idea what your characters would get, so I can't answer those questions. As for wearing the expensive ring all the time, though, I would say probably not. Huge rocks, be they diamonds or sapphire or whatever, get in the way a lot. And if they're traveling to a poor country, I notice that most of the people I know who wear grand jewelry tend to leave them at home. But if she were very attached to her ring, she could just turn it inward. It really just depends on her character. If she's self-aware and she knows she's going to be meeting people who are less well-off than her, she would probably take off the ring.

You could also consider using a family heirloom - grandmother's ring for example - think Prince William who proposed with Diana's ring.

aruna said:

I want a wedding ring for a character, or maybe a wedding ring and a matching engagement ring; it doesn't really matter but they have to be really, really expensive. With diamonds, maybe.
Bought for a bride in Boston in the 1990s.

Like these, but these are much too cheap. I want something from Tiffany's, something the bride would be proud of and like to flash.

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Yes, those are cheap because they have small diamonds. Diamond prices don't go up linearly with carats. So ten 1/10th carat diamonds are much cheaper than one big fat 1 carat rock.

I seem to recall in the past wedding and engagement ring styles being simpler. The wedding band was plain gold; the engagement ring was a single large diamond. Nowadays you have wedding bands inset with small diamonds, and engagement rings with a large diamond surrounded by a supporting cast of smaller stones. I'm not sure when it changed, but I haven't been around much longer than the 1990s. I feel like that was about the turning point, so if your bride is fashion-forward, she might have a more complicated style. If not, it's perfectly possible to be ostentatious without being fancy: just have a big honkin' rock.

Would a married woman wear her expensive wedding ring with diamonds all the time? Her engagement ring? Even when travelling to a poor country?

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My wife wears her engagement ring all the time (except for messy work like some gardening). It's not diamond, actually, but still precious. I think if we were going somewhere with high crime, we'd think otherwise. I wear my wedding ring all the time, and would do so still in a crime-prone area: it's just simple gold (but still worth a few hundred dollars).

Lastly, how much might such a ring or rings be worth? If they were sold how much would they bring?

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You know the rule about two months salary? Well jewelers make sure there is a ring for every salary. There's hardly any limit. I think you can find diamond rings from $2000 - $10,000 easily. It's easy to search online.

I think they can be sold for about as much as they're bought. There's not really any depreciation or instant depreciation as a "used" item vs. new. I think maybe people would be hesitant about buying a used wedding or engagement ring (if it's not still in use by the original owner, its magic must be defective, right?), but it's easy for a jeweler to change the stone out, melt down the gold, make another ring and call it new. There's no real way to identify a piece of jewelry as "used".

Hi
I you can pay massive amounts of money for jewellery . But if your interested in expensive but also beautiful have a look here
www.gatsbyjewellery.co.uk

It's actually really hard to sell diamonds now. The diamond industry is really struggling right now, because someone created a way to make synthetic diamonds that are indistinquishable from the real stuff, for a fraction of the cost.

Tiffany's brand name can actually be bought, for something like a couple hundred dollars, for a non-name brand or custom-designed ring. I personally don't find Tiffany's to be all that impressive.

Yes, usually a woman will wear her wedding ring at all times, plus the engagement ring. It's about the symbolism of the marriage. They're both worn on the left ring finger, with the wedding ring first and the engagement ring on top -- the wedding ring is closer to the heart. Whenever I hear about someone wearing their engagement ring or wedding ring on a necklace, I think "Uh oh." Again, it's the symbolism thing. If it's to a poor country, it probably depends on the person. But I know lots of super rich people (multi-millionaires) and they're generally really down to earth. You wouldn't even know they're worth that much, because they don't flaunt it.

If you want an expensive ring, go with a single bigger diamond. The bigger, the more expensive, instead of a lot of little ones to make up the same weight. Look up the four C's -- color, clarity, cut, carat. If you have the best of all these parameters, you will have one majorly expensive ring. Traditionally though, it's the engagement ring that's the one with the honking diamond and the one that's super expensive. The wedding ring tends to be a simpler band with small diamonds, if it even has diamonds at all. The wedding band is designed to be a matching set with the groom's ring, which typically is just a solid gold band.

Rich people don't buy wedding rings or sets. They commission them or they inherit them. It depends on what you need for your story, but there are a billion boutique jewelers and designers you could use. Cost goes up with age and materials, but also workmanship and the elan of the designer.

So, have your set designed expressly for the bride, but using heirloom stones. Include a large diamond as well as other stones, rubies, sapphires, emeralds, etc. You can come up with anything you wish.

As for wearing them, what does the story need? If they need to be worn at the time of some event, have them worn.

Jeff

Totally agree with Jeff that it depends on your story. But...rich people do not all have staff. In many cases, it's considered really crass to talk about money and value, as in, it would rude to ask someone, "so, nice rock! how much did that set you guys back?" And definitely yes, to designers and heirlooms. But again, many people with money are very low key about it and are NOT flashy and ostentatious. Others are not. In some circles, that might distinguish "old" money from "new" money (these days, that's pretty stereotypic but those prejudices still exist) As far as settings, totally up to the lifestyle - someone into horses, for example, and outdoor stuff would not want a big rock that makes it hard to get one's hand in one's pocket or get anything done.

As far as traveling, that also depends. Many people, rich and poorer, leave their valuables at home. I have spent a good deal of time in Kenya and the Caribbean and did not see anyone with their rings around their neck (purely anecdotal but I don't see how that would keep it any safer) . People of any income can be stupid when they are not familiar - flash expensive cameras, phones, hunting gear, talk down to locals, wear cut offs and tank tops into churches and sacred areas, drink alcohol where it is forbidden and so on.

In many cases people with money have learned how to be low key and not flaunt anything, and their travel style reflects that. Others, not so much, so your story woudl have plenty of leeway and could vary depending on the needs of your characters!! Some people will not remove their wedding rings or engagement rings for anything, others would. I would find it plausible either way.

And just because I didn't see it mentioned, some people also wear guard rings to keep a wedding ring from sliding off.

Here's another link to a reseller with a fairly easy to navigate search function: https://www.1stdibs.com/jewelry/rings/

I use them for visuals on Georgian jewelry (and just for the eye candy), but it might get you some good ideas.

Cheers.

If it was purchased in Boston in the 90s then it was probably from Shreve, Crump, and Low, if that helps.

Rings worn all the time cause the knuckle to thicken. So there comes a point, usually after a few years, where she won't be able to take the rings off.

bombergirl69 said:

As far as settings, totally up to the lifestyle - someone into horses, for example, and outdoor stuff would not want a big rock that makes it hard to get one's hand in one's pocket or get anything done.

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I know almost nothing about the rich, but, as for reasons for not wearing a ring: it's not just that the ring can be inconvenient - one woman at work lost the stone in her ring three times before she gave up. If you use a hands a lot, easy to catch a setting and yank the little prongs loose. Hard to find in a barn, I imagine.
And - the safety risk: if the band of the ring catches on something solid, and there's sufficient force applied, the wearer can lose a finger. (My dad worked on the Health and Safety committee at a paper mill - he had stories that would curl your hair. There were rules against jewelry in the workplace - neither of my parents ever wore their wedding rings.)
Not really relevant to the lives of the rich, but it might be of interest depending on what your characters are doing.

Jimmy Fallon, arguably quite rich, almost lost a finger when he caught his plain wedding band on the edge of a countertop as he slipped, in his own kitchen. It's a whole specific injury, as Frimble notes above. He was in ICU I think, lots of surgery.

I've known people who commissioned jewelry and never took them off, but they didn't have actual work-jobs. They went to the"Club," and Social events. They traveled with an entourage when abroad. I've overheard one of them having 2 identical sets made, one genuine that was insured and kept in a safe and one knock off that they wore in public. The vast majority of people I've known with expensive jewelry only wore them for special occasions. The general rule was that their actual wedding rings were somewhere between 2 and 4 months of salary. Personally my wife and I thought it was better to get inexpensive rings and save the 2-4 months of salary for a house down payment

You could really do anything if the setting is America since there are no real American recognized customs. I'm sure in Europe it's likely to be different.

Really super-rich people don't buy anything off the shelf if they can help it, virtually everything is bespoke and made especially for them. Really super-posh people on the other hand (completely different thing, in the UK anyway) don't buy anything at all if they can help it, and virtually everything is an heirloom.

Nobody super-rich or super-posh is likely to shop in Tiffany these days...

I would want to know if we're talking old money or nouveau riche. Big difference there. Old money would have an heirloom or something quietly commissioned. It would most like be lovely and understated. They would never talk about how much it cost, not in terms of dollars, or weekly/monthly salary (which they may not have, if they're old money), or through any other comparison.

Nouveau Riche would want a flashy ring with a flashy name that is easily recognizable, especially by family and friends who do not have money. Tiffany would work here. It would be expensive and the bride would allude to the cost openly and share the cost specifically with some (probably minimal) prompting.

I honestly don't think, in either scenario, that most women would wear such a ring on a necklace when traveling in a poor country. A cultured woman would know better. A more gauche woman would wear the ring, but keep it on her finger where it's harder to steal. Depending on the type of story you're telling, it could be interesting to see a thief try to steal it but be unable to remove it from her finger, and the questions THAT raises.

There are, of course, exceptions, and it all depends on the characters. But I know people with money and the "old money" and "nouveau riche" stereotypes hold remarkably true across a heck of a lot of them.

If it helps, I got engaged in 1999 and was poor (we were just babies, only 20!). My engagement ring came from one of those stores in the mall built out of glass and fake gold, and it cost about $1,200, if I remember right.

Aruna, in the UK, the diamond-set wedding rings you linked to were fashionable about the time I got married, in 2003. They'd not been popular for long then, and swiftly became unfashionable again, as I remember. If you want something expensive get her a plain gold band made from Welsh gold.

Before arthritis made ring-wearing impossible for me, I wore a huge diamond ring almost every day, almost wherever I went, but I did leave it at home when I went traveling. It was my grandmother's, otherwise I would never have had it! I'm not wealthy, though, so am perhaps not the right person to help you here.

My mother wore her engagement and wedding ring every day until she entered the nursing home. At night she removed them and placed them in a small box on her bedside table.

Of course, she was married in the 1950s, which was much different than the 90s. I'd say that your Boston bride could wear it on a chain, wear it occasionally, wear it all the time or never - her call.

As far as going to poor countries, I don't think most women would conceal an expensive ring, unless it was for fear of theft. An engagement ring is much more personal even then clothes to most women, and if she felt awkward about a big rock in the third world, she probably wouldn't have gone for a big rock anyway.

mirandashell said:

Rings worn all the time cause the knuckle to thicken. So there comes a point, usually after a few years, where she won't be able to take the rings off.

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Are you sure? I've been wearing the same rings on my ring fingers (wedding ring on the left, engagement on the right, because they do not go together, neither visually nor physically) for 23 years, plus another ring on the left for 15 years*. And my ring-finger knuckles are not noticeably larger. I can compare them with my middle-finger knuckles, which are conveniently nearby; there's no detectable difference.


* the "I can't believe you carried a baby around in your body and let them cut it out of you when it got huge" ring

In my experience, the more you spend time around luxury, the more blase you become to it, even in small increments.

My dad bought me a diamond pendant when I turned 16. When I graduated from high school, my parents together bought me matching earrings. The total carat weight of the entire set wasn't even 3/4 carat. And yet, they were the only diamonds I had ever owned, so they were worn only on special occasions, and each time were carefully put away in their boxes after each use. Then, I got engaged and married, and I started wearing a diamond and sapphire ring every day, day in and day out. Gradually, my tiny diamonds became more daily-use jewelry. More were added to my collection as time went on, and those I wear any time, even just to work.

When we were in India, we saw American and British tourists with obviously expensive cameras, watches or wedding rings in just about every city. They obviously didn't even think about the value of the things they had. Their Rolex watch or $1200 DSLR was so natural to them, they didn't think that thieves or pickpockets might target them for it. My wedding ring isn't "rich person" worthy, but still, it's set with diamonds. I didn't even consider taking it off while we were there. It's part of my daily wardrobe.

I have a friend who leaves her "good stuff" at home when she leaves town. She wears a simple band that she bought for a couple bucks at Walmart.

I have another friend who wears her 'rock' even when going to known 'shady areas'.

I don't like jewelry so my wedding band (a very beautiful diamond and rubies band) gets worn only a few times a year.

I don't think it is a "rich" or "average" question. It depends on the person.

Really valuable heirloom jewellery here in the UK is copied, stuck in the bank, and the owner wears the copies.