The Official Hagiography of Thomas the Last

Rather than the official biography of Saint Thomas, the Bible’s most famous skeptic (as the ironic title might imply to someone lacking any sense of irony), this poem presents the story of a skeptic, who, having cast his shattered past upon the still-smoldering ashes of his life, sets forth on a new journey seeking something better -- “fitting prizes: a tender ear, a gentle hand, a cunning set of eyes,” collecting angels as he finds them to “better light his way.”

Reading between the lines, though, it seems despite his jar of angels (I see them as so many fireflies, hopefully but impotently fluttering their wee wings and shining their little lights), this journey is not one he undertakes in optimism. It is heading “into the lowlands” (which I read as an unhappy metaphor). And despite his collection of angels, he still does not trust – he prays “with one eye open and never in the dark.” Like St. Thomas, he cannot believe in what has not been proven to him.

Moreover, he ends his journey by “commending his soul unto his sword.” I love that last line, by the way – it’s a wonderful conflation of two Bible verses: “deliver my soul from the sword” (praying to the Lord to release one from suffering) and ‘into [God’s] hands, I commend my soul” (an expression of faith, giving over one’s soul to God’s keeping).

In this case, the skeptic gives over his soul to his suffering (in which he does have faith; he has probed those wounds as St. Thomas examined Christ's) as Christ accepted the cross and (going back to the title) as saints accepted their martyrdom.

It's wonderful to see a poem from you, William. Thank you for sharing it.


Eta:

The jar of angels lighting the journey in pursuit of the tender ear, etc. also made me think of Diogenes with his lantern, looking for an honest man. He was a cynic, too, as I recall.

I've read this about a dozen times so far. Its musicality has stuck in my head. Beautiful.

he tended his garden
with fire and cast upon
the smoldering ashes
the splinters of his past,
and so was born again.

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There's something about this part that perfectly captures a very contradictory emotion I've noticed in myself, at times, and in others - kind of a defiant resignation. Sometimes this feeling is good news. Sometimes it's dangerous. There's an element of The Hanged Man card from the Tarot deck about it. Either way, it sits on the shelf with the states of being, sweet or otherwise, that make us notice (maybe sometimes even celebrate) that edgy sharpness of consciousness that sits just behind our eyes.

He gathered angels in a jar
to better light his way

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This is terrific. Catching fireflies in a jar-lantern is an idea that doesn't bear out its original intent. Fireflies are interesting to watch, and their light is compelling in the dark, a mesmerizing diversion. But they don't illuminate effectively. No one can get very far on their light. Angels might be better, but only just.

I am puzzling over the title. Again, the musicality is enough, but it's intriguing.

Perks said:

Fireflies in a jar-lantern is an idea that doesn't bear out its original intent. Fireflies are interesting to watch, and their light is compelling in the dark, a mesmerizing diversion. But they don't illuminate effectively. No one can get very far on their light. Angels might be better, but only just.

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True. But when clouds obscure the moon and stars and there is no other light, a jar of angels beats nothing every time. Perhaps they give enough light to inch your way along until the clouds shift or dawn comes. (That they help light the way tells you just how dark Thomas's road is.)


ETA:

There is more than one Saint Thomas that the title might be referencing. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Thomas (William's use of "hagiography" in the title, combined with naming his character Thomas, leads me to believe that although he clearly is not writing a biography of an actual saint, he is intending to evoke a Saint Thomas.)

I concluded, based mostly on the third stanza, that it is the original (and possibly best known) Saint Thomas he meant. Saint Thomas could not believe that Jesus was resurrected without seeing and touching the wounds for himself; this Thomas prays "with one eye open" and commends his soul, not to his faith, but to his sword. (The sword reference could, I suppose, taken by itself, be a reference to believing in fighting, or a reference to committing suicide. However, given the Biblical references I mentioned in my first post, I took it to mean commending it to his suffering -- to his dark, angel-lit journey.

Perhaps too it could be a reference to fighting the suffering -- Thomas has, after all, been born again, and is embarking on a journey away from the smoldering ashes of his garden, seeking a tender ear and gentle hand, and he is collecting angels to light his way.

I was was seeing that the angels were gathered for that purpose, but that the end result was, like a jar of fireflies, more likely companionable light than functional, which can be a different blessing, or perhaps even ultimately a frustration.

Certainly it would be frustrating to take a journey lit only with a dim jar! But I gathered they were more of a consolation than a frustration in the context of this poem, given that he was deliberately gathering them, and that having done so, he was marveling at the music of a well-considered breath. That line is one of the few peeks at hope I see in the poem.

He prayed with one eye open
and never in the dark

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I love this line. It's the Sceptic's Prayer!

And, I think the angels in a jar are meant more as a comfort, or maybe a spiritual illumination, than actual light. Like Pandora's Box, where only hope remains. But hope is sometimes enough to get you past the hard parts of life/the road.

Interesting, too, that he's in pursuit of

a tender ear, a gentle hand,
a cunning set of eyes.

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Not pair of 'soft' eyes, or 'kindly' eyes. 'Cunning', regardless of a couple of other meanings, implies 'clever'.

I too spent a fair amount of time thinking over the choice of "cunning." Apparently Thomas is in pursuit of something more complicated than mere kindliness. I can empathize with that.

ETA:

And yes, that's how I took the jarred angels, too. This is a spiritual road, not a physical one. And I love the one eye open/never in the dark line, too.

Thanks William! I thought of St. Thomas More, who was beheaded for screwing with Anne Boleyn's reputation as legit Queen, etc. Also very happy to see you've updated your user title!!!

This one is going to require a couple more reads and more time to ponder (that's not an issue with the poem but my frazzled busy brain lately). I will spend time with it though and come up with something useful to say (or I'll try) and in any case, it will be delightful to spend more time and headspace with this poem.