My stupid posting dilemma

22,341 posts in, I'd say no, I don't.

Crit some things in SYW. Find a social thread somewhere and dive in. Have a hobby? There might be a thread on it. There's Jed's newbie pub, which is a social thread especially for newbies who feel bashful. There's a political forum. There's a cooking forum. There's a whole boatload of topics being discussed here every day.

We're a pretty diverse bunch and we don't bite, or at least most of us don't. Surely you can find something to say! You are a writer, after all.

I have and I do. There are forums I read but almost never post in, and others I do.

I think of AW just like a real-life community, because it is. If I'm at a table having dinner with 10 people, sometimes I'm going to contribute to the conversation, and other times I'm not. Sometimes I'm going to say things that include everyone, other times I'm only going to talk to the one or two people nearest me. Sometimes I'm going to go out afterward with the whole group, other times I'm going to hang around with a couple people, and other times I'm going to beg off other activities and head home as soon as it's done. In time, I find the people I click with the most and which dinners I enjoy and which I don't. Nothing says I have to participate equally in all dinners, so why should I pressure myself (and I have in the past) to participate equally in all parts of AW?

Stick around, post when you feel like it, and you'll find your place.

The 'Post Your First Three Sentences' thread is a good place to offer critiques. It moves fast, there is always a new opening to reply to. And if you don't know much about critiques (everyone started there) just your gut reaction is useful.

CassandraW said:

22,341 posts in, I'd say no, I don't.

Click to expand...

Rookie.

I have, and still do in some subforums. It took me a lot of dipping my toe in before I jumped in with both feet in various places, and I still don't enter in others. But I had to ask myself, why did I sign up? I needed two things: a community, and some writerly direction. And there's really no way to get either if you're (universal) not getting to know anyone, and to do that, you gotta engage.

I can tell you one thing for sure. If you wander into any of the SYW threads, your thoughts will always be welcomed. Even if--especially if--they're repetitive. That would indicate a bit of consensus, and consensus is always helpful to people who have their work up for critique. That feeling of "no one caring what I have to say" is common among writers, it seems to me. It keeps some of us from opining on a forum, others from digging in and finishing a book or story. Try not to listen to that voice. It's not true.

I'm a chatty person, so I post anyway, (even if I'm only repeating others or myself, lol).

Like Chris P mentioned, that doesn't mean I have to chat with everyone or participate in every board. There are a lot of boards here.

We also can Private Message and use Reputation to communicate with individuals.

Doesn't mean I get along or converse with everyone. Like Chris P's metaphor implies, it's like a community, and one can choose what "table" to "sit" or talk at. Not everyone will always be at the same "table".

It's like going out into public, (or walking into a chatroom). You sort of have to risk putting yourself out there and reach out, if you want people to notice or chat with you. Find someone who has similar interests or someone you want to talk more about a topic in-depth with.

Some of the social boards are pretty casual, and you can just post in them about anything related to the topic or just random silliness.

You can also lurk around, give some Rep points, and then start posting, little by little, in topics that interest you.

As you post more and more, other people will start noticing you and your personality and some may even chat with you, Rep your posts, or PM you, etc.

Watch for a bit, then start dipping your toes into the waters. I'm sure if you keep at it, with patience and persistence, you will be able to soon find your niche and become more and more comfortable with the water temperature to the point of hopefully being bold enough to dive right in.

Try lurking a topic that interests you. Then start giving Rep points (with some commentary). Then start posting, a little bit, here and there. If you feel strongly about a topic, or if you're curious to learn more details about someone's opinion or to gain knowledge from someone, then do some bits of Private Messaging.

I promise you, there are some nice peeps here.

Watch out for moody ones like me, though. (Just kidding...Or am I? )

Nah, most of us are pretty nice. We also have friendly mods here if you ever need to report rude/offensive behavior, or if things feel like they're getting out of hand.

zoedragon said:

2. The post is interesting, and I have a thought I'd like to share about it, but then after reading all the responses, I discover someone has already said what I wanted to say.

Click to expand...

I just joined, but I felt like that after reading a bunch of threads I thought were interesting. =/

Could you try starting your own threads? Then you get first say! :]

InsomniaShark said:

I just joined, but I felt like that after reading a bunch of threads I thought were interesting. =/

Could you try starting your own threads? Then you get first say! :]

Click to expand...

Even if someone already said what you wanted to say, you could add some more details or info or explain why you agree with someone, etc.

I think it's okay to add some extra two cents in, even if it's similar to someone else's post.

Sometimes, we can bring our own examples, our own perspectives our own experiences, or clarification, etc, and it can give people a better idea of us or get people to think more about the topic.

We never know if something we said can enlighten others or bring about a new POV to the table.

Was going to post in this thread, but didn't feel like I could contribute.

And that was the point, wasn't it? Don't feel like participation is probable because it's all been said and done. On the other hand, the desire to participate is good, tempered with knowing when to jump in (takes practice), makes that desire and participation excellent.

But, one question: You've started a thread. You've asked a question. You're contributing. Still think you have nothing to add? (^_^)

zoedragon said:

1. The post is some kind of game I have no interest in.
2. The post is interesting, and I have a thought I'd like to share about it, but then after reading all the responses, I discover someone has already said what I wanted to say.
3. I think, okay, maybe I'll post a thought into one of these threads that has hundreds of responses already. People obviously don't care about repetitive answers. And then I think, what's the point? Who actually reads them when there are hundreds of replies?

Click to expand...

4. The post is interesting and I have a thought I'd like to share about it, but after reading all the responses I discover everyone is saying the exact opposite of what I wanted to say, and then I'm too scared to contradict people who are much more well-known and active in the community.

Yes. Often I'll start a reply, and delete it all just before I post. It's just me being shy.

bunny-gypsy said:

Even if someone already said what you wanted to say, you could add some more details or info or explain why you agree with someone, etc.

I think it's okay to add some extra two cents in, even if it's similar to someone else's post.

Sometimes, we can bring our own examples, our own perspectives our own experiences, or clarification, etc, and it can give people a better idea of us or get people to think more about the topic.

We never know if something we said can enlighten others or bring about a new POV to the table.

Click to expand...

I agree with bunny on this one. (See what I did there?)

And to add my own spin to this, sometimes, in discussions here, someone will ask a question they need an answer to, and several people will answer it differently. In this industry, there are questions that have a variety of correct answers (there's no right way to do it, just the way that works at the time), but there are also some questions that have "best" answers. If each person who came to the thread saw that a single person had already given the best answer and wandered off without posting, the original poster would be staring at, maybe, five different answers, all with the same weight. The poster is looking for a consensus—many people all agreeing on an answer, or at least aspects of it—so they'll have confidence in following forum advice. So adding your voice, even if it's repetitive, is important.

That said....

SianaBlackwood said:

4. The post is interesting and I have a thought I'd like to share about it, but after reading all the responses I discover everyone is saying the exact opposite of what I wanted to say, and then I'm too scared to contradict people who are much more well-known and active in the community.

Click to expand...

I think it's also dangerous for this place to become an echo chamber. New and different perspectives are crucial to the discussions that go on here. We want people to think about things, not just follow advice blindly. If you're reading a thread and the previous posts (opposite of what you were going to say) make you rethink your position, then that's a learning moment for you. If, however, you still hold your original opinion, it doesn't hurt to say, "I see the point that's being made here, but I wanted to offer another perspective, and here's why...."



Something everyone who is hesitant to post needs to keep in mind is that this is a "discussion" forum. We're totally used to people just posting stuff, repetitive stuff. Often even old timers will come to a thread, read the OP, and post their take without reading many of the other posts, so a lot of things get repeated. We very often just say the same thing everyone's been saying, prefaced with "I agree with what's been said already." We disagree with each other. People post different opinions about things. We argue our points. The important thing to remember is that none of this phases us. As long as you are being polite and friendly, even when debating a point, Respecting Your Fellow Writer, and not being a jerk... no one is going to ever read your post and think "Well, that's been said... how dare he/she post something repetitive." We'll read it or not and just move on to the next post... But, we'll see your name, we'll see your post count rising, and we'll know that you're someone who's been contributing to the community, even if we don't recall any ground-breaking posts you wrote.

I always feel like whatever I have to say is worth saying and worth other people reading.

I try not to pile on a conversation where everyone is telling someone why they're wrong, but I don't mind being somewhat repetitive, especially in critique, grammar, or writing process questions. If one person says "I got a different meaning from this sentence than you intended," they might be wrong, but if several readers see the same thing, there's probably an issue.

I say get in there. Read and critique. Even if you feel you aren't qualified, if you can read, you can say what you liked and didn't like.

Come on in. The water's fine.

Raindrop said:

Yes. Often I'll start a reply, and delete it all just before I post. It's just me being shy.

Click to expand...

Oh man, I do this so much.

The genre general discussion threads can be incredibly intimidating due to their sizes, but they're the perfect threads to just drop in on and say hi, to come and go as you're comfortable with. They're meant for getting to know people in the genres you like and getting comfortable with the forum setting. Same with Jed's Newbie Pub or the non-game threads in Office Party or anything with Cray, Nina, or Silent Rob in the name.

zoedragon said:

...Someone's bound to notice.

Click to expand...

Indeed.

*Sings along with you... Everybody Wants to Rule the World*

zoedragon said:

I may not have anything original to say, but my voice is my own, and the way I say it will be unique.

Click to expand...

Hey look! It's the lesson every fiction writer has to learn! (Said with tongue firmly planted in cheek.)

I totally agree with all of this! So maybe I shouldn't be posting it

But seriously, as someone who has some social anxiety in real life, I always feel a little awkward on message boards. A little worried that I'm accidentally butting in on a conversation or game in an awkward way. But I will say what I've learned from just reading a ton and only post occasionally, it's been worth it. And so far no one has told me to get out so I'm just going to keep on awkwardly posting.

marialou said:

But seriously, as someone who has some social anxiety in real life, I always feel a little awkward on message boards. A little worried that I'm accidentally butting in on a conversation or game in an awkward way. But I will say what I've learned from just reading a ton and only post occasionally, it's been worth it. And so far no one has told me to get out so I'm just going to keep on awkwardly posting.

Click to expand...

Yeah. I still feel like an outsider, and like I'm sometimes intruding, but I'm trying to get over that feeling.

Half the time I post without having read other responses. And then later I read the comments and I'm like, oops! It's been said already. Oh, well, too lazy to delete.

bunny-gypsy said:

Even if someone already said what you wanted to say, you could add some more details or info or explain why you agree with someone, etc.
I think it's okay to add some extra two cents in, even if it's similar to someone else's post.
Sometimes, we can bring our own examples, our own perspectives our own experiences, or clarification, etc, and it can give people a better idea of us or get people to think more about the topic.

Click to expand...

Thanks! I hadn’t thought of how even if I’m saying the same thing as someone else, my context will be different, so I’d still be contributing something different.

heza said:

And to add my own spin to this, sometimes, in discussions here, someone will ask a question they need an answer to, and several people will answer it differently. In this industry, there are questions that have a variety of correct answers (there's no right way to do it, just the way that works at the time), but there are also some questions that have "best" answers. If each person who came to the thread saw that a single person had already given the best answer and wandered off without posting, the original poster would be staring at, maybe, five different answers, all with the same weight. The poster is looking for a consensus—many people all agreeing on an answer, or at least aspects of it—so they'll have confidence in following forum advice. So adding your voice, even if it's repetitive, is important.

Click to expand...

I hadn’t thought of how multiple people posting the same opinion helps confirm/show consensus. o__o Good point!

So many smart people here.