Thinking of giving up on querying and writing my book series

I suggest checking into the Share Your Work section. Read about, critique, and earn up your posts. When you hit 50, put up your query and opening chapters. It can make a world of difference.

Outside of that, if you don't want to self-publish or trade publish, do whatever you want. What's the point of writing something no one will read? Well, perhaps to enjoy writing it? It's not like publishing is the only goal in writing.

OK, two things. I queried hundreds of agents for my trilogy, got one that fell through and now I'm going to self publish it. There's that. And I'm going to write 3 more books in the series, I don't care if they only sell one copy each. I don't care.

Secondly, who in their right mind wants to read a book whose ONLY purpose for getting written was for the author's esteem and validation?

You will get a lot of support from the Rejection and Dejection members, but I feel there's a disservice in joyful rah-rah, so I'm going to throw some negative reinforcement here.

A book where the author didn't want to say anything important about the world, their life, or the internal wonder in their head, their hopes and dreams? The kind of book written because it was "popular" and where they only wanted to make themselves feel like a big-shot writer? That nonsense oozes like old snot from the first page. You know, that could be the problem right there. *That* is a story with no worth, and a story not worth telling.

Are these the words from your heart? Or are they only written because you could self-validate as a writer. You ARE a writer. But if something so petty as wanting "commercial" publication for prideful purposes is the only thing putting your bum in a seat and your hands on the keyboard... maybe you might actually not be a writer at all.And if not getting a pat on the back is what stops you from writing the story to completion, maybe it should not have been started in the first place? I know, it's a horrible thought to consider, because so much effort goes in to writing a manuscript.

But a writer needs to WANT to write before all other things. Validation should not be the reason you continue down what can be a long and lonely road - it only leads to heartbreak.

I decided to quit writing. You can read about it here. I am finishing up some projects, and then I will submit/query them and stop writing.

The thing is, I don't love it. I am quite depressed, have been my whole adult life, and I don't really enjoy doing anything. Other than, well, eating and snuggling, tbh. Everything else, including reading, requires too much concentration to be very enjoyable. It's kind of bleak.

I don't write just for validation. I kind of like writing, it's a bit of an escape, I feel a sense of accomplishment when I finish something that I think is good. But like I said, I don't love it, and after years and years, I know that almost no one will care if I quit. (With the exception, perhaps, of a few people on Wattpad who read my free stories as soon as I update them.) I have published 7 works with 3 different small pubs, but my sales are abysmal, and selling books to small publishers that no one will buy just isn't enough for me. I don't need to be super successful, but I want some people to pay for my writing and read it and like it. I want to make people laugh. And I have to face the fact that it's just not happening, and writing is just making me depressed. It erodes my feelings of self-worth. I miss feeling like I'm good at something. I could self-publish some of my stuff instead of selling to small pubs, but based on my sales, I'm certain I would lose money if I hired a decent cover artist + editor, plus self-publishing would cause me levels of anxiety that I'm just not ready to handle.

I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting some validation, and it annoys people when people act like *true* writers only write for themselves, do it just for the love of it, would write even if they knew they wouldn't be published. Writing only for validation and writing just to fit the market seems problematic. (Do many people really do it just for that reason though? I can't imagine that would last long.) But I don't think there's anything wrong with caring about it a bit. Some people are happy to write for themselves, and writing is worth it for them even if it never sees the light of day. I just can't do that forever.

Only you can decide. Maybe take a break from writing and see how you feel.

Also if you only got one request from your query, maybe your query or opening pages aren't very good? You might want to check out SYW.

First, ewizz, I'm sorry you feel so frustrated. ((( hug ))). Keep in mind that rejection is a big part of writing—whether for books, shorts or magazines.

But only if you choose to publish.

I suggest you do pull back a bit from queries. Get into the joys of writing and editing your work. Read a few books by people whose work you admire. Keep writing. And come back to querying if / when you feel ready again. You can always go for a small press. Somtimes they are more open to writers without platform.

And keep writing to your own heart.

Lucie

So sorry you're feeling dejected. It's amazing how quickly rejections can overshadow everything you've written and how you feel about the entire process. But for most of us, getting published is a long-term goal. Yes, a handful of people sell their first books, but the vast majority need to write a few books (at least) before our level of craft is good enough to publish. I know that's not what you want to hear, but it bears thinking about.

But we all get it (or at least those of us who didn't sell our first books do). It sucks. Take some time to process, maybe take a break from writing and see if you miss it like crazy. If so, then maybe quitting isn't the right path, and you just need to buckle down and get yourself as good at writing as you possibly can.

This is a long crazy and often fruitless road. Even if you get an agent, you may not get your first manuscript published. Or second. Or third. You might need to switch up agents and start the whole process again. Then, if you do get a sale? That's the hard part just beginning. If your debut doesn't get good sales figures you can be dead in the water. Even if it does, the next one is the same old battle. Rinse repeat.

you gotta do this because you love it. You gotta write something new. If your heart is in the one you're querying, then of course it's going to get bruised. It might not feel like it now but if you put your heart in the next project (and the next and the next and the next) then you won't give a crap about rejections anymore. It's the only way to do this sanely I believe.

(from the girl who is writing manuscript number 9 lol)

Lonegungrrly said:

It might not feel like it now but if you put your heart in the next project (and the next and the next and the next) then you won't give a crap about rejections anymore.

Click to expand...

If only that was true for me.

But yeah, if you want to write, start on a new project...

Hang in there. Once you get to 50 posts have your query looked at in QLH. You should be getting about a 10% request rate if the query is good. If you're not, then maybe it's the query. Then move on from there. I'm not going to give you crap about wanting to be traditionally published. I want that too. But it doesn't necessarily get easier. Once you have your agent then you go on sub. I'm on round #2 with the book I signed with my agent waiting for that one editor to say yes. Do what's best for your mental health, but you have to learn to let the rejections go. Have some cake or a cocktail and then move forward. ((HUGS))

My thoughts, fwiw: The usual reason books are not picked up is not the reasons writers come up with, but just that they didn't wow the agents or publishers enough to invest in over the other hundreds of books they're offered.

Wanting success but not getting it is you and 90% of the other writers out there. That's the reality of it so if you mean "mental health" in a serious way, it's probably not the thing for you to pursue.

If your book hasn't had plenty of other writerly eyes on it, chances are it's not ready for publication.

I wouldn't write a sequel at this time. If you are set on getting trade published and the first book doesn't get picked up, the sequels will be a waste of time for anything but practice. But, of course, you can practice with a completely different book that has a better shot.

I'd put this book through the critique and beta mill (and earn it fairly by doing an equal amount of that work for others- which imo is also the best way to improve your own writing). All of it, not just the query or first couple of chapters. I don't know how many books I've beta'd (or reviewed, if self-published) where the first couple of chapters had been polished wonderfully, but the rest of the book was a mess. And write another book, unrelated to the first. Often with a first book, the author's skills aren't honed, but each book gets better.

Good luck!

Don't give up. If I were you, I would stop querying agents FOR NOW until you've had some people on the SYW section look at your query and the opening scenes. In the mean time, my suggestion would be to look and edit other people's queries and opening scenes. You'll be amazed at how much this can help you with your own. Also, look at the successful queries that are a separate thread on this board.

I think we all have at one point felt the way you are feeling right now. This is a really hard and often very lonely road that we travel. Just remember to hang in there and keep writing, editing, and revising. If you give up now, then you never will get published.

Have a good cry and/or watch something funny on TV or a heartwarming animal video (these are things that help me) and then get back to writing. Maybe work on something completely new.

ETA: A lot of writers, including J.K. Rowling, have talked openly about their mental health issues. Having something like depression or anxiety certainly does not make this process any easier, but you're not doomed as a writer if you have it. I believe there are a lot of people in the industry that have these and other mental health problems.

Different people have different goals for their writing, and for some of us, it changes over time. Some are happy to write for the love of it, some aren't. Take a step back, take a break, see how you feel after a bit of breathing room. If it's a relief, great! If you find yourself itching to start again, you have your answer.

If your work (and your query) hasn't been read by others, especially experienced others, I recommend this.

Me? I'm on a break that is likely a permanent one. I'd say definitely permanent, but the fact that I still come on AW--though usually lurking--leaves room for questioning. My hide is of the rhinoceros variety, but I've been worn down. I've been through SYW, alpha reads, beta reads, queries, requests, and rejections, lather, rinse, repeat. I write the stories I want to write, the ones I believe I'd be happy to pay for, but ultimately, I write to be read.

Your feelings and experiences may be different, and I hope they are, with a more satisfying ending.

I think a lot of us feel that need for validation. It is a constant push and pull between that need and the awareness that we should be writing for its own sake. I have to remind myself EVERY DAY that the passion for writing needs to come first, and the need for validation needs to be secondary, because making the latter the center of my life will lead to unhappiness. I don't expect that need ever to go away. But it doesn't have to be in control.

The first book I sold was the fifth I wrote, so there was a lot of rejection along the way. Much of my early writing just didn't connect with readers for various reasons. I was trying to do something and hadn't found the right forms or techniques for it, I guess. I would give mss. to betas who were also writer friends, and they would avoid me so they didn't have to give feedback, or just frown and say, "It was complicated. Too much stuff going on." Every time that happened, it was like this dark gulf opened inside me. I felt like I'd never be able to write something that would resonate with another person.

Then I paid this writer to give me an extensive critique, and she asked me one big question: "Where is the love in this story?" The critique hurt, but it unlocked something. The same has happened with a few subsequent critiques and rejections. They hurt, but they nudged me toward what I needed to do.

Many writers have gotten to that point far faster than I did, and sold their first or second books. But if you don't, it's not necessarily a reason to despair. It is a reason to seek out frank critique from skilled people and learn from it, even when it hurts. And to read more, always more.

Write a different novel. Getting so caught up in a single novel, or a series, stops many new writers dead in their tracks. As much as many don't want to hear it, you have to write a book that people want, or what's the point? It isn't just agents and editors, either. If none of them like it, very darned few general readers are going to like it, so self-publishing is almost never the answer.

The answer is twofold. Fold one is being prolific, and knowing how to write books that people want to read. Like anything else, the more projects you write and finish, the better the chances you'll write one that people want. Practice does not make perfect, but quantity does lead to quality.

Fold two os learning how to write a good query. The best novel ever written is unlikely to sell if it's represented by a poor query. No agent or editor says no to a query that makes them see dollar signs. Nearly every agent and editor says no to a poorly written, or just plain boring, query. Most queries read like the teacher's voice in Charlie Brown, and may as well just say Yada, yada, yada. If you are getting a high percentage of requests, you're query needs serious work.

Anyway, doggedly stick to one project is an almost guaranteed way to fail, and to become seriously depressed. Every great now and then, book one sells, and makes the writer rich, but these are the extremely rare exceptions. For the large mass of writers, being prolific, writing a number of different projects, and learning how to write a great query letter, is the road to success.

z

I've been querying my novel for the past three months and gotten several rejections. I've cried and screamed and wanted to toss the whole thing for good. For me, part of my frustration comes from seeing some traditionally published books in my genre - historical fiction - that are boring, poorly researched, or just not that good and thinking "geez, if THIS can get published, why can't I?"

I might be new to writing but I know getting an agent is no guarantee the manuscript is going get published. I might look at independent publishers or trying self-publishing but I don't consider that a failure if it comes to that. I actually wrote a novel and that's something! And as hard as it is to move on this from this novel, I'm starting work on a second - not because it's going to be any easier to get representation for but because I enjoy writing.

mewellsmfu said:

Rejection is part of writing. It just is. While you may die a little inside when you receive those rejections, you'd better get used to it, because it's as much a part of the game as sitting your fanny in a chair and working.

Great actors don't become great because they quit after they lost out during auditions. The same can be applied to almost every field of endeavor. And honestly, despite the glorification of writing as a calling and something we just have to do because art's in our blood, it's first and foremost a business. People who make money writing, do so with their eyes on the bottom line. Yeah, it's not a popular viewpoint, but it is what it is.

So unless writing is a nice hobby that rings your bells, get accustomed to being rejected. If a particular project isn't working out for you, go on to the next one, as others have suggested.

Many years ago I wrote the most terrible book ever written in mankind's history. It was cringeworthy awful and I never did anything with it because even I recognized that sometimes you just have to know when you need to learn more about your craft. Granted, I make a living in nonfiction, but I also write essays and fiction and, like exercising your body, your skills develop the more you use them. When I read articles I wrote when I started breaking into writing, I am struck by my immense horribleness. I was the Sasquatch of Bad Writing, the WWE Champion of Lousy Similes, the Olympic Gold Medalist of Writing Without Reason.

I am better now, but it sure didn't happen overnight and I still get rejections. Do I let them bother me? Maybe the teeniest-tiniest bit. Otherwise, I keep working to get better at my craft. And I never forget that I have to pay the bills while I am at it.

If I had stuck with that first book, doggedly working on it or sending it out, my career as a writer would have been a pipe dream.

Click to expand...

This. ALL OF THIS.

Fruitbat said:

...If your book hasn't had plenty of other writerly eyes on it, chances are it's not ready for publication....

Click to expand...

This ^

You have to start with the attitude, it's OK to be bad as long as you are better tomorrow. It's OK to be good as long as you are better tomorrow. It's OK to self publish, it's a step, not the end of the road.

If you've already had a lot of experience with a critique group and your book has been beta read and you're satisfied with it, make sure it's not the query letter that is the problem.

If it needs more critique, get more critique. In my experience it's been the best way to learn to write.

Once all that is done and you still have no bites, self publish and consider it an exercise in marketing, in getting your name out there. Don't judge a book by its publishing cred. There is a ton of crappy published stuff out there. Self publishing is a way around the gatekeepers. A good book will find an audience. And if it doesn't, it's all experience for the next one.

Tarley said:

...For me, part of my frustration comes from seeing some traditionally published books in my genre - historical fiction - that are boring, poorly researched, or just not that good and thinking "geez, if THIS can get published, why can't I?" ...

Click to expand...

In a way, this often keeps me going. Damn, I know the book I'm writing is so much better than some of the stuff I read. I shall be published!!! Some day.

MaeSw said:

This ^

You have to start with the attitude, it's OK to be bad as long as you are better tomorrow. It's OK to be good as long as you are better tomorrow. It's OK to self publish, it's a step, not the end of the road.

If you've already had a lot of experience with a critique group and your book has been beta read and you're satisfied with it, make sure it's not the query letter that is the problem.

If it needs more critique, get more critique. In my experience it's been the best way to learn to write.

Once all that is done and you still have no bites, self publish and consider it an exercise in marketing, in getting your name out there. Don't judge a book by its publishing cred. There is a ton of crappy published stuff out there. Self publishing is a way around the gatekeepers. A good book will find an audience. And if it doesn't, it's all experience for the next one.

Click to expand...

I have to disagree with most of this. I think it's dangerous to think of self-publishing as a STEP. It may be a different road, a perfectly acceptable road, given the right reasons, but not necessarily a step.

If you're self-publishing because your book is having a hard time getting picked up because it would be a hard sell (genre, topic, etc.), I can see self-publishing as an option. But no way should you be self-publishing because it couldn't get by the gatekeepers due to its craptastic writing. There's a reason it was turned down. It does no one any favors to self-publish when what it needs is more work. All it does it temporarily stroke the author's ego, which seeing that it's terribly written and probably wouldn't sell well, would be short-lived. Mostly it's adding just another crappy book to the self-publishing realm, adding yet another reason why self-publishing gets its bad rap. And if you've got dismal sales, it may count against you if you're still trying to go the traditional route.

Hi, ewizz!
Rejection really, really, really is part of the whole process, and I feel like if the passion for writing isn't very strong, it won't sustain someone during that buffeting. I queried agents for over a year before I gave up and went straight to publishers, and four responded positively one after another, within a few months' time. That is definitely a route you should try: publishers who accept unagented authors.

But I think the advice from others here is good too: definitely get your query and pages looked at. If I had been in this place while I was querying, I might have wasted a lot less time. Months went by as I edited, molded, pared down, added to my query, just sort of like tossing a general net out trying to catch fish!

One thing I do have to say, though: self-publication can't in any way be seen as a failure. There are many self-published authors who have achieved very good to amazing success, the author of the Breaker series and the author of Wool, for two extreme examples. But I think even moderate success is a wonderful achievement. Traditional publishing is not the only way anymore; in fact, it's become somewhat of a lumbering dinosaur in this brave, new world. But if your attraction to it continues, think of this: many authors are discovered after the fact. After being published by small online publishers or self-publishing. So that's always a possibility too.

I'm going through the same thing, so reading this thread has been enormously helpful! Except that I sort of embarked on this process of trying to sell my first novel as more of an exercise than something I actually expected to work. I am pretty sure my novel is terrible. The people I have given it to to beta read, with one exception, just never said anything to me about it again. Bad sign. Therefore, I am going through the agent search as practice while I am writing the sequel to my terrible novel, also as practice. Eventually, maybe I'll be a good writer. But probably not. I don't care all that much because I have other things in life in which I am deeply invested, so this is just one of them. I don't mean to sound too mystical or arty or whatever, but if I had a choice in the matter, I wouldn't write at all. But I've been writing since I was seven years old and I've never felt it was a choice. When I'm not doing it, I am miserable, and thinking about it all the time. And when I am writing, whether or not I am being published, I generally feel okay about myself and the world. So I intend to keep going with it as long as that is the case.

Damn, you're good sometimes, James.

For me the validation comes from having actually written the book, which is what I set out to do. I've always had the assumption that I would self publish, but a few friends( who did not read the book BTW ) said I should at least try the traditional route. It's been comical to say the least, learning the ticks and ego's of a lot of these agents. I know it can be discouraging, especially when you see some of these debut books that are immediately picked up, thrown into a bidding war, get all kinds of movie or show deals thus making the new author an overnight sensation, while you trudge away hoping the idea that "good writing or even moderately ok writing" and subject of your story will catch an agent's eye to your work.

Double the discouragement if you are not writing for what is trending. In the end it is all subjective, most agents will tell you this in their NF rejections, some will even tell you this in their polite, but utterly useless formals. It is the truth though and their thousands of books out there that prove it. As others have said it really does all come down to the query and unless an agent has rejected you with a NF offering "critique or advice" I would not label said rejection to mean your story or writing is bad. Hell I'd wager most agents simply glance at a query without truly reading it before they hit the reply with formal rejection( and I have the emails and time stamps to prove it ). Such is the nature of the beast.

Personally I do not consider self publishing a failure, regardless of what pissed off gatekeepers have to say on the matter, but it's clear from your post that you want something more out of writing than I do, and that's cool. I'm not trying to change your opinion or belief, but I will say that you should take great satisfaction in knowing that you wrote what you set out to write. There are not many people in the world that will be able to say they wrote a book( regardless of success ), but you will be able to say that and that is definitely something to be proud of.

Bmann said:

I know it can be discouraging, especially when you see some of these debut books that are immediately picked up, thrown into a bidding war, get all kinds of movie or show deals thus making the new author an overnight sensation, while you trudge away hoping the idea that "good writing or even moderately ok writing" and subject of your story will catch an agent's eye to your work.

Click to expand...

This! ^^

But on the other hand, I think that success (if it ever comes) will be sweeter for the struggle and rejections along the way. Sure, I wouldn't complain if my book had gotten picked up by the first agent I queried and then wham-bam got made into a movie...but I look forward to the satisfaction of saying, "see, I *knew* it was good enough."