Advice on two features in MG fantasy

t0dd said:

That's not what I'm saying (and again, I really don't seem to be doing a good job of explaining this). What I'm expressing concern about is the notion that doing something bad or wrong can lead to good consequences - a case of "The land wouldn't have been healed from the curse if the MC hadn't stolen something from her cousin". That's what I'm worried about.

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I don't see how what you're saying is not what I'm saying. You are saying that a good thing coming from a bad thing is sending some kind of mixed message are you not? That it's problematic storytelling for kids if something good comes of something bad. I'm trying to tell you it can be very interesting storytelling to do that. That you don't need to moralize quite so much. And also, quite frankly, that stealing a necklace for an afternoon is not so evil that something good coming of it is a bad message. Like it's really not a big thing. It's being a little naughty at best.

And I am also saying, which I said right at the beginning, that actions don't happen in a vacuum. You're saying: "Stealing is what saves the world." I'm saying "A girl who is good all the time, decides to rebel a little and borrow a necklace without permission. This leads her to be mistaken for someone else and makes her feel really terrible for stealing in the first place. She learns lots of lessons about right and wrong as she goes on her adventure, eventually she saves the day and then returns home and returns the necklace with humility and an apology." Do you not see the difference? Do you not see that it's all about how the character thinks and reacts to the act of stealing, how she grows and changes and all those things that matter far more than "Someone stole at the beginning and the world was saved at the end. That's telling kids to do bad stuff and get rewarded with being a hero."

And that's fine. All this time I've been saying I'm not saying this to convince you to change your story. I'm using this as an example of a general larger issue with kids' books where authors think that children can't appreciate and understand more morally complex stories and characters. I'm giving an example of the kind of the plots that could be interesting, one doesn't have to worry about sending mixed messages in the way you were.

But I never once said you should change your story. To be fair, while I suggested the jewelry, I do actually agree with another poster that there are some far more creative ways of getting her to the other world.

No we're really not. I'm saying that character complexity allows for you to play around with notions of good vs bad. I think you think I don't understand you, but what's really happening here is you aren't understanding me. I have said over and over and over that I get it: you are saying that a bad action resulting in something good is problematic. I'm saying that what matters more is how the character reacts to the bad action, and grows and feels guilty etc. That those responses allow you the author to have a good thing come from a bad action. Do you not see what I'm saying? A bad action isn't objectively bad. A bad action depends on all the motivations around it, on the human part. So yes, someone stealing something and being evil and thinking they can do whatever they want and get away with it and they never learn otherwise, sure having them save the world, having a good thing come from that, might be problematic. But someone stealing something and being nervous about it, feeling horribly guilty afterwards, wanting to make amends and never wanting to do it again, and learning their lesson, having THEM save the world, having a good thing come from that is perfectly fine and not a bad moral in the least.

And honestly? That's the story? Because I kind of think it's wonderful that an act of theft drove a world into dark times and another act of theft brought them out of it. I kind of love that. And again, thanks to character complexity, you could show how one act of theft does not equal another, and how regret and learning from your mistakes can result in good things, and it's only if you are unapologetic and full of hubris that the darkness comes.

t0dd said:

(I was probably all the more concerned because, in my story, the whole trouble taking place in the other world came because the cousin's great-grandfather had committed an act of theft - stealing a golden cup from a fairy hill - and having the dark times that resulted from it ending and peace being restored stemming from another act of covetousness and theft felt jarring to me.)

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Well, we haven't even got the MC to the 'old country' yet, so maybe simplify: you just want some way of a) identify the cousin and b) mis-identify the MC. What if the cousin is wearing the token and either wants to take a 'thrill-ride', a big roller-coaster or whatever, or took one and is now feeling sick? Either she has to take off all loose jewelry or she can't really throw-up comfortably with the pendant dangling in front of her. So, the MC offers to hold the item, while a) the cousin goes on the ride, or b) her mother hustles the cousin away to be sick in privacy. In that moment, the messenger appears!

You could use something other than a piece of jewelry as the token, but what? I thought of a birthmark or something, but that's hard to swallow convincingly - twin birthmarks. You could use some other object, a book, perhaps, but again, unlikely to be carried around. And, the odds of both girls singing/humming/saying the same words/tune is low.

And, the reverse - the MC is identified (name on cap or jacket), takes it off, gives it to cousin to keep her warm/dry and is picked because the cousin has her name on, but this seems rather contrived.

Nice solution! Simple; somewhat humourous; it's an actual scene, not just the MC standing there with a locket on, and no 'bad deed' - simply an accident, and you're on your way with the story. Good luck with the rest of the story!

It ties in really well with the amusement park theme, too!

Good! Keep writing, Procrastination is the foe!(And Inertia is his shiftless buddy!)