Help me find my first favorite romance

morngnstar

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Okay, confession time. I had not read much romance when I started writing my WIP. I just wrote what I felt like writing, and I believe what came out is a romance novel, despite attempts to convince me that it is love story or women's fiction or something else.

I've since read a few. Some I liked, some I didn't care for. But nothing has really made me say, "Wow! Amazing!" I think maybe something could, I just don't know how to narrow the search. My selection process has been a combination of liking the cover, liking the title, and it being available on a thrift store shelf. I think this process is about as good as random, and likely to lead me to the most mediocre titles. I want to read the five-star stuff. I could just sort by reviews online and pick the first, but I also want to find something that suits my personal tastes.

I'm not really sure how to describe what those are. Maybe we can home in on them via a dialogue. I don't know what questions to answer; maybe you know what questions to ask.

I can tell you what I don't like. I don't like alpha males. I especially don't like that thing where they act like they hate each other which really means they love each other. (Pulling girls' pigtails should stop at third grade.) I don't like paranormal. I don't like mystery (more to the point, I don't like a story that's almost really another genre, it just happens to star a pair of MCs who are thrust together). I don't like love triangles, though we're getting down to peeves that I'll tolerate. I just think there should be some kind of conflict more original than just a love triangle. I'm not really interested in stuff with a "chick-lit" kind of feel.

I do like historical, although sometimes it annoys me when the characters don't really seem historical, just like modern characters riding around in carriages. I also like contemporary.

Not sure if this is the right place to post.

Thanks.
 
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Marian Perera

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I'm all in favor of people reading more romances. :) And the best part is the huge selection to pick and choose from!

Just a few of my favorites, which might fit into what you're looking for. No alpha males, or love triangles :

Simple Jess, by Pamela Morsi : Historical where the hero is developmentally disabled. This is one of my top five favorites, and I rec it whenever I can. The heroine is a great character too, a single mother who stands up to pressure from her community to marry again.

The Love Charm, also by Pamela Morsi : Historical, set in the Louisiana bayou. Anyone who wants a hero who thinks his way out of a problem should read this one. Plus, he's shorter than the heroine.

Always to Remember, by Lorraine Heath : The hero, a talented sculptor, is a conscientious objector during the Civil War. All the other young men from his town eagerly enlist and are slaughtered, while he returns to a town which despises him for being a coward. The heroine, widowed thanks to the war, commissions him to carve a memorial for the dead men, hoping this will force him to leave the town.

While she does hate him at the start, this is definitely not a story where they spit insults at each other before surrendering to a clinch. It's much more realistic and moving. I especially like how the hero shows the townspeople that courage doesn't have to be obvious, loud or defined as the willingness to kill for what you believe in.

A Precious Jewel, by Mary Balogh : The heroine is a working prostitute and the hero is one of her clients. He's also very much a beta, albeit one so starved of affection that he barely knows how to show it after he starts falling for her.

The Governess Affair, The Duchess War, The Heiress Effect, The Suffragette Scandal, by Courtney Milan : I can't recommend these highly enough. Milan has amazingly decent heroes and independent, intelligent heroines. Plus, she puts some great twists on common tropes. For instance, The Heiress Effect opens with two catty twin sisters pretending to be friends of the heroine while sniggering at her for dressing in a ludicrously lavish way (the heroine has a secret, well-thought-out reason for doing this). I waited for the two nasties to get their comeuppance courtesy of the author.

Instead, they witness a man putting her in danger and that makes them talk openly to her, warning her about the man. In return, she's honest with them too, and they all end up becoming friends. This felt so fresh and so positive about women in general - not just the heroine.

I also like Milan's Unclaimed, a historical where the hero is a virgin and has written a book about chastity. Instead, the heroine is the experienced one. It's a delightful story that upends a lot of common expectations about gender roles and sexuality.

If you don't like paranormal, you're not likely to enjoy any romance I've written (they're all fantasy and paranormal), but I recommend giving the books above a try.
 

Roxxsmom

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I'm all in favor of people reading more romances. :) And the best part is the huge selection to pick and choose from!

Just a few of my favorites, which might fit into what you're looking for. No alpha males, or love triangles :

All your suggestions look really good. I love me a good romantic arc, but I've been turned off romances for a while, because I'm kind of bored with male protagonists who are always so competent and confident (with their only fault being arrogance, a lack of respect for women, or an inability to admit to their feelings for the female protagonist).
 
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Lil

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I adore historical romance, so I'd like to offer few of my favorite authors who write historically believable books, not just contemporaries in long dresses:
Jo Beverley, Joanna Bourne, Loretta Chase, Meredith Duran, Jo Goodman, Madeline Hunter, Miranda Neville, Karen Ranney
(I'd like to think I qualify, but I don't want to push my luck.)
 

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How hot do you like your romance? How do you feel about new adult?

I agree with the Courtney Milan rec. Some contemporaries:

Taking the Heat - Victoria Dahl
Truly - Ruthie Knox
His Road Home - Anna Richland
 

morngnstar

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How hot do you like your romance? How do you feel about new adult?

I agree with the Courtney Milan rec. Some contemporaries:

Taking the Heat - Victoria Dahl
Truly - Ruthie Knox
His Road Home - Anna Richland

I'm comfortable with anything from naked on every page to no kissing until the wedding. Also age range from teen to senior.
 

LJD

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A Gentleman in the Street - Alisha Rai (heroine is the billionaire, and she's kind of alpha; high heat level)
Easy - Tammara Webber (new adult)
Sweet Filthy Boy - Christina Lauren (new adult)
 

andiwrite

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I need to start a thread like this. I have a hard time finding romances I like too. Unlike you, I LOVE the schoolyard/hair pulling/teasing sort of thing. It most certainly does NOT need to stop after third grade! lol :D It has to be funny and playful though, not mean.

We all have such different tastes, which is what makes it so hard to find your audience as a romance author.

I would suggest my book because the male is not very alpha, but there's a ton of playful messing with each other, so you might not like it. ;)
 

Latina Bunny

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I need to start a thread like this. I have a hard time finding romances I like too. Unlike you, I LOVE the schoolyard/hair pulling/teasing sort of thing. It most certainly does NOT need to stop after third grade! lol :D It has to be funny and playful though, not mean.

Depends on how one differentiates "playful" schoolyard teasing from mean behavior. There are times when I can't tell the difference with some people...

As someone who had a boy do something similar to her in elementary grade, I really freakin' hated, hated it. It was NOT fun for the girl (me) involved, and it was getting into bullying zone.

We certainly did not fall in love, that's for sure, lol. Some adults and other kids thought he had a crush on me and was doing it to get my attention, and gave that whole "boys will be boys" bullshit, but I was not comfortable, did not like it, and I really felt like I was being harassed or bullied, because he kept ignoring my repeated pleas for him to stop.

It was stressful for me, and there was nothing cute or romantic about it.

I eventually told on him, and I was sooo glad to never be bothered by that little jackass kid ever again. :)

Sorry, bad memories. What with having a young boy look under my skirts, and then being groped in high school, and then dealing with unwanted come-ons in adulthood, it was no wonder I was turned off by some of the male population (outside of the whole sexual attraction to girls/women thing)...

(What's worse is that other people would just brush off all of these negative things like they weren't a big deal or treat it all like a joke, and excuse those actions as typical "boys will be boys" actions. Ugh. :( I learned that I can't trust people to defend me, and I learned about victim blaming after the groping incident, yay....)
 
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Roxxsmom

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As someone who had a boy do something similar to her in elementary grade, I really freakin' hated, hated it. It was NOT fun for the girl (me) involved, and it was getting into bullying zone.

I think the idea that teasing is all the same and all coming from a place of mutual liking is very pervasive. When I was a kid there were certain girls who were pretty popular, and when the boys teased them, it was because the boys liked them. It tended to be lighthearted and silly. Likewise, there were boys that the girls liked and would tease.

But there was another kind of teasing. It was something the less popular (or medium popular) kids did to the kids who were completely unpopular. It's hard to explain, and sometimes hard to recognize from outside, but it's not the same kind of mutual teasing that the more popular kids engaged in that was a more nascent form of flirtation or the light hearted trash or snarky talking that social equals sometimes engage in.

When I was a kid, my mom sometimes told me that boys teased me because they liked me and thought I was pretty. No. The teasing I got was very different from what the popular kids got.

It was stressful for me, and nothing romantic about it.

I eventually told on him, and I was sooo glad to never be bothered by that jackass kid ever again. :)

I'm glad telling on him got results, at least. When I was young, adults told us to be brave and stand up for ourselves (not to tattle or be a crybaby) and to be friendlier and to act more socially acceptable and work at being better at the things the popular kids were good at (like sports instead of reading too much). Teasing can hurt, and it's not always fun for the recipient.


For me, I tend to prefer some heat in my romances. Not full-fledged erotica with sex on every page, but I like the sexual tension and build up to be resolved at some points in the story, and without closing the door in my face. This whole, "Have to wait until marriage or it's not realistic" thing? Bah. I have trouble believing that this was ever how the majority of people behaved really, but even if it was, the ones who followed all the sexual rules aren't the people I want to read about. Show me the "naughty" ones.

No rape, though. I can't think of anything less romantic (and more disturbing) than rape, and it really bugged me how common it was in romances when I was younger.
 
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Latina Bunny

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Yeah, that's why I was never fond of Romances that do the whole teasing or stressing the woman out thing. And it's almost always the woman in the relationship who is being teased or almost harassed. She's the one being stressed out, and whose world is being turned upside down. Almost never the guy. The guy was always cocky, teasing the woman or "breaking down her defenses, etc. (All of which are major turn-offs for me.)

It's like a gendered expectation thing. It's one of those big reasons why I have trouble loving Romance genre entirely. (I can find more sweeter, less aggressive or less arrogant guys in other genres, or in movies, tv shows, or cartoons/anime, for some reason.)

Sorry for the derail, lol. :p Continue on with the recs! :)
 
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andiwrite

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I think the idea that teasing is all the same and all coming from a place of mutual liking is very pervasive. When I was a kid there were certain girls who were pretty popular, and when the boys teased them, it was because the boys liked them. It tended to be lighthearted and silly. Likewise, there were boys that the girls liked and would tease.

This was the sort I was referring to. Where it's very obviously designed to make the person laugh or smile and not at all mean. I've been cruelly teased by guys before too and it really does hurt. :( I still remember guys in jr high telling me no one would ever love me because I was flat chested. :( They were most certainly NOT flirting with me. One of them actually almost drove me to suicide, so believe me, I understand stuff like that is not sexy.
 

Marian Perera

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There's definitely a line between playful banter that goes both ways (something most if not all of my heroes and heroines do with each other) and either : 1. just plain nasty comments or 2. cruel putdowns from the hero to the heroine that are supposed to indicate he's fighting his feels for her, and which she never calls him out on. For some reason I've never read of heroines making such remarks to heroes, perhaps because heroes tend to have more self-confidence, and it's much easier for a woman to be seen as a bitch than for a man to be seen as a jerk.

Also, for me to find teasing funny, charming or sexually tense, it cannot be one-sided and it cannot be physical, so if the hero actually is pulling the heroine's hair or pinching her or whatever, it's probably not going to work for me.
 

Roxxsmom

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There's definitely a line between playful banter that goes both ways (something most if not all of my heroes and heroines do with each other) and either : 1. just plain nasty comments or 2. cruel putdowns from the hero to the heroine that are supposed to indicate he's fighting his feels for her, and which she never calls him out on. For some reason I've never read of heroines making such remarks to heroes, perhaps because heroes tend to have more self-confidence, and it's much easier for a woman to be seen as a bitch than for a man to be seen as a jerk.

I remember one I read ages ago where the FMC asked the MMC if he had problems with his mother to have such a poor opinion of women, but the examples I can think of off my head, usually the FMC is responding to something nasty the MMC said to her first when she gets "waspish" in an exchange. It's kind of sad, really, since romance is written by and for women for the most part. So this means we're the ones judging our own gender more harshly, (as bitches) than we do men, for nasty comments.

Also, for me to find teasing funny, charming or sexually tense, it cannot be one-sided and it cannot be physical, so if the hero actually is pulling the heroine's hair or pinching her or whatever, it's probably not going to work for me.

Me neither. I had a boyfriend once who couldn't keep his hands off me--was always poking, tweaking, goosing, pinching, tickling, tugging on my bra strap, even when I made it very clear I wasn't in the mood for such "games." He'd get pouty and say, "Fine, I'll never touch you again!" when I complained, or tell me I was being cold and bitchy if I tried to raise the issue as a more serious problem of respect and boundaries. In hindsight, I realize that such behavior was controlling and abusive*

I get that some people like BDSM, but I don't, and for me, romance and erotica that is specifically written to those fantasies should be framed as such.
 
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Latina Bunny

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For some reason I've never read of heroines making such remarks to heroes, perhaps because heroes tend to have more self-confidence, and it's much easier for a woman to be seen as a bitch than for a man to be seen as a jerk.

I would love for some females to have more self-confidence or become more shameless, less wishy-washy, etc, in Romance stuff.

Hmmm... I find more fun females in sitcoms or tv comedies, some tv shows, and some movies.

For example, I love the main character from The Good Wife (TV drama show). I loved how unflappable or "cold"?/stoic? she was at times. Something about her felt solid, or maybe a bit hard. I didn't see a lot of females like that in fiction.

Same goes for the somewhat harsh main character (Annalise?) from that one murder drama TV show, How To Get Away With Murder. While I may not like Annalise, I did like and envy her "toughness".

I love the free-natured spirit of Jess (from sitcom New Girl), who's also not shy about her sexuality. I love the determination and strong spirit of Kimmy Schmidt, from that sitcom Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. And so on. I love Fat Amy from Pitch Perfect movies. Same with the main character from Hairspray. I love the sisters from Frozen, Happy and Sadness from Inside Out, etc.

I just love plenty of TV and movie female characters, (and some book characters as well, like Elizabeth Bennett from Pride and Prejudice, Emma from Emma, Ella from Ella Enchanted, etc).

Meanwhile, I have trouble of thinking of Romance genre heroines I fully actually enjoy, lol. XD
 
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andiwrite

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I had a boyfriend once who couldn't keep his hands off me--was always poking, tweaking, goosing, pinching, tickling, tugging on my bra strap

That's the exact sort of stuff I love. One woman's annoyance is another's foreplay, apparently. It amazes me how different we all are. No wonder men never seem to have any idea what to do! ;)

Being abusive about it isn't cool, though. Rather than shame you for not liking what he likes, he should have just accepted you guys were not compatible.
 
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Roxxsmom

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That's the exact sort of stuff I love. One woman's annoyance is another's foreplay, apparently. It amazes me how different we all are. No wonder men never seem to have any idea what to do!

He knew I didn't like it because I told him. Repeatedly. It wasn't gentle touching or tickling either, or an approach to see if I was in the mood (followed by backing off if I wasn't). It often hurt, and sometimes it left bruises. And it was constant, unless he was the one who was busy or occupied with something else. There's a difference between mutual tickle fights or flirty silliness versus someone doing it to make their possession of you clear when you're out in public or to interrupt you and distract you when you're talking about something that excites you when they don't want to listen or think you shouldn't be excited about that topic, or when you're reading, or watching something, or are working on a project, or trying to sleep.

His claim not to understand my signals (and words) because I liked being touched, caressed and tickled "sometimes" always came across as disingenuous to me. I haven't had any trouble of this kind with any of the other men I've been involved with over the years, so I think most men are perfectly capable of understanding what women do and don't want--especially when women tell them.

Being abusive about it isn't cool, though. Rather than shame you for not liking what he likes, he should have just accepted you guys were not compatible.

That wasn't going to happen, because he was actually terrified of losing me. I should have broken off with him much sooner than I did, but early in our relationship, I'd promised (with some prompting) I'd never leave him. And I had my own issues from my upbringing.

But again, this was not coming from a place of honest differences in overall cuddliness or tolerance for flirtation or teasing, but from a desire to control and possess to begin with.
 

andiwrite

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He knew I didn't like it because I told him. Repeatedly. It wasn't gentle touching or tickling either, or an approach to see if I was in the mood (followed by backing off if I wasn't). It often hurt, and sometimes it left bruises. And it was constant, unless he was the one who was busy or occupied with something else. There's a difference between mutual tickle fights or flirty silliness versus someone doing it to make their possession of you clear when you're out in public or to interrupt you and distract you when you're talking about something that excites you when they don't want to listen or think you shouldn't be excited about that topic, or when you're reading, or watching something, or are working on a project, or trying to sleep.

His claim not to understand my signals (and words) because I liked being touched, caressed and tickled "sometimes" always came across as disingenuous to me. I haven't had any trouble of this kind with any of the other men I've been involved with over the years, so I think most men are perfectly capable of understanding what women do and don't want--especially when women tell them.



That wasn't going to happen, because he was actually terrified of losing me. I should have broken off with him much sooner than I did, but early in our relationship, I'd promised (with some prompting) I'd never leave him. And I had my own issues from my upbringing.

But again, this was not coming from a place of honest differences in overall cuddliness or tolerance for flirtation or teasing, but from a desire to control and possess to begin with.

Ugh. I'm so sorry. My skin is crawling reading that. I've had a lot of this done to me too. :(

I swear, every time I start thinking about dating again, I'm like ... nah. I'll stick to reading and writing romance. lol
 

Roxxsmom

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Ugh. I'm so sorry. My skin is crawling reading that. I've had a lot of this done to me too. :(

I swear, every time I start thinking about dating again, I'm like ... nah. I'll stick to reading and writing romance. lol
The important thing is to know what works for you and to figure out when someone's manipulative. I hear you about dating, though. If something happened to my husband, I'm not sure I'd want to enter those waters again. I've heard so many horror stories from women (my age and younger) who are out in the trenches and read so much sexist stuff on the internet, it's easy to believe that there are no nice guys out there at all.
 

morngnstar

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This got off topic, but I don't think I have a problem with playful teasing as andi's talking about. It's fine to joke around about personal quirks someone's not too sensitive about, when the teased has as much fun as the teaser. I just don't like when they genuinely get on each other's nerves and disrespect each other. Then I guess at some point they get so exhausted with that that they lose their senses and fall into each other's arms.
 

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I'm so sorry you had to go through that, Roxxsmom. *hugs*

Yeah, I am personally turned off by all sorts of teasing. While I have a sense of humor about some things, I tend to be a pretty serious/sensitive and anxious person in general, and I really don't like to be teased about intimate topics like sex, my body, or looks, etc.

I don't like to be hurt, even in a teasing manner, either. Goosing and snapping bras (and undies) sound like hell to me, lol. :p I can't even stand tickling, either. (That physically hurts me, for some reason.)

I'm already clumsy enough to hurt myself, from time to time. I don't need someone to add to the pain, hehe. XD
 
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Roxxsmom

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Yeah, sorry for derailing.

Playful, flirtatious teasing isn't what I really was talking about there. I don't have a problem with witty banter and gentle teasing in romance, as long as it's well meant. I don't tend to like romances where behavior crosses the line into what I'd call emotionally (or physically) abusive.
 

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This got off topic, but I don't think I have a problem with playful teasing as andi's talking about. It's fine to joke around about personal quirks someone's not too sensitive about, when the teased has as much fun as the teaser. I just don't like when they genuinely get on each other's nerves and disrespect each other. Then I guess at some point they get so exhausted with that that they lose their senses and fall into each other's arms.

It's disturbing that there are so many romances like this, apparently. I tried reading one a while ago and had to put it down. I won't say what book it was because I hate talking shit, but yeah ... REALLY creepy guy. I couldn't figure out how this was supposed to be a romance, because it seemed like one of those creepy stalker "boyfriend gone bad" Lifetime movies. If this is some sort of fetish, I wish they could warn us by labeling it somehow. I'm down for a creepy stalker story, but labeling it as a romance makes it incredibly triggering for me as someone who has been through abusive relationships. :(
 

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OP, don't force yourself to love the genre if it's not clicking with you. My advice is to pick up whatever sounds interesting and discover your own tastes and favorite authors. Most of us longtime readers came to the genre this way, not by feeling that we had to enjoy it.

As for unintentionally writing a romance--it's not required to be a superfan of the genre to write it. Sure, romance writers and readers will automatically assume you have a list of favorite authors and can converse about the genre, but for the most part, romance fans just want good books. There are a number of authors who didn't set out to be romance writers, but are wholeheartedly embraced by lots of romance readers (Kristen Ashley, R.L. Smith, Colleen Hoover, and *gasp* Diana Gabaldon come to mind).