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- Feb 27, 2016
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I have a passion for nonfiction writing and researching, sometimes I go overboard researching because I enjoy it so much, at the moment I'm on sexual assault, domestic violence and childhood trauma.
I'd like to write a creative nonfiction novel on Aileen Wuornos younger years, of surviving her brutal childhood, she lived such a traumatised life, her coping mechanism was to face the world head on.
“I think this anger developed inside her. And she was working as a prostitute. I think she had a lot of awful encounters on the roads. And I think this anger just spilled out from inside her. And finally exploded. Into incredible violence. That was her way of surviving. I think Aileen really believed that she had killed in self-defense. I think someone who’s deeply psychotic can’t really tell the difference between something that is life threatening and something that is a minor disagreement, that you could say something that she didn’t agree with. She would get into a screaming black temper about it. And I think that’s what had caused these things to happen. And at the same time, when she wasn’t in those extreme moods, there was an incredible humanity to her.” – Nick Broomfield
I've written about my own trauma and sex critical theory in My First Per-Zine. I also have a call out for feminist writings on the activist experience on my blog, looking for experiences on how abuse and marginalisation might have inflected someone’s journey into anarchism/ liberation politics.
But now I want to ask for people’s advice on using narrative to connect the facts of a story together, I have a wealth of sources included letters, diaries, journals, depositions, court case records, newspaper accounts.
The main source I’d like to work from are Aileen Wuornos prison letters, I've churned a stack of letters into a timeline of memories, that I'd like to include as quotes, but I need to get permission from the recipient of the letters first.
I haven't decided whether it would be better to stick to a single natural timeline, or to intersperse it with prison days, and the experiences of guilt she felt when she remembered the murders or times she had premonitions of how she would likely end up in prison.
If anyone has any suggestions about what they found interesting when researching a person’s life, in order to write their own nonfiction novels, I'd love to read, there are so many interesting quirks about Aileen’s character that I enjoy. The way she likes patterns and is constantly dreaming about her place in time, how the past connects to the future, there are also darker realities like her use of fantasy as a defence mechanism, and alcoholic escapism in her death drive.
There are a few simple recurring ideas throughout the letters; I imagine this has to do with her being on death row. When someone is motionless, simply reciting stories at the end of their life with no agency to think about how they could plan to go about situations differently, it is somewhat calming and freeing, because the anxiety is diminished, you can transcend the emotion of a situation. But at the same time I was left feeling like her character had no recourse to learn anymore. I found this really difficult to imagine constructing a timeline of her evolution in prison looking back, apart from simply beginning to end.
Anyway look forward to reading other people’s processes of researching and writing.
Notes from 'Life on the road'
I'd like to write a creative nonfiction novel on Aileen Wuornos younger years, of surviving her brutal childhood, she lived such a traumatised life, her coping mechanism was to face the world head on.
“I think this anger developed inside her. And she was working as a prostitute. I think she had a lot of awful encounters on the roads. And I think this anger just spilled out from inside her. And finally exploded. Into incredible violence. That was her way of surviving. I think Aileen really believed that she had killed in self-defense. I think someone who’s deeply psychotic can’t really tell the difference between something that is life threatening and something that is a minor disagreement, that you could say something that she didn’t agree with. She would get into a screaming black temper about it. And I think that’s what had caused these things to happen. And at the same time, when she wasn’t in those extreme moods, there was an incredible humanity to her.” – Nick Broomfield
I've written about my own trauma and sex critical theory in My First Per-Zine. I also have a call out for feminist writings on the activist experience on my blog, looking for experiences on how abuse and marginalisation might have inflected someone’s journey into anarchism/ liberation politics.
"
I’m on the lookout for radical folk who want to write personal stories that meander about general issues they’ve come up against surviving, growing, learning how to make change happen, for themselves and their adopted community.
I’m looking for both positive and negative stories, if you have stories of trauma it would be great to read as one important part of a larger journey, which might have even kick started something positive for you, like finding a supportive community, personal resilience, post traumatic growth. But at the same time I don’t want to discourage writers from submitting experiences that lead them to a realistic appreciation of sadness, or the limits of experience open to you being born into a narrative of kyriarchy.
"
I’m on the lookout for radical folk who want to write personal stories that meander about general issues they’ve come up against surviving, growing, learning how to make change happen, for themselves and their adopted community.
I’m looking for both positive and negative stories, if you have stories of trauma it would be great to read as one important part of a larger journey, which might have even kick started something positive for you, like finding a supportive community, personal resilience, post traumatic growth. But at the same time I don’t want to discourage writers from submitting experiences that lead them to a realistic appreciation of sadness, or the limits of experience open to you being born into a narrative of kyriarchy.
"
But now I want to ask for people’s advice on using narrative to connect the facts of a story together, I have a wealth of sources included letters, diaries, journals, depositions, court case records, newspaper accounts.
The main source I’d like to work from are Aileen Wuornos prison letters, I've churned a stack of letters into a timeline of memories, that I'd like to include as quotes, but I need to get permission from the recipient of the letters first.
I haven't decided whether it would be better to stick to a single natural timeline, or to intersperse it with prison days, and the experiences of guilt she felt when she remembered the murders or times she had premonitions of how she would likely end up in prison.
If anyone has any suggestions about what they found interesting when researching a person’s life, in order to write their own nonfiction novels, I'd love to read, there are so many interesting quirks about Aileen’s character that I enjoy. The way she likes patterns and is constantly dreaming about her place in time, how the past connects to the future, there are also darker realities like her use of fantasy as a defence mechanism, and alcoholic escapism in her death drive.
There are a few simple recurring ideas throughout the letters; I imagine this has to do with her being on death row. When someone is motionless, simply reciting stories at the end of their life with no agency to think about how they could plan to go about situations differently, it is somewhat calming and freeing, because the anxiety is diminished, you can transcend the emotion of a situation. But at the same time I was left feeling like her character had no recourse to learn anymore. I found this really difficult to imagine constructing a timeline of her evolution in prison looking back, apart from simply beginning to end.
Anyway look forward to reading other people’s processes of researching and writing.
Notes from 'Life on the road'
- 1 - "Next letter dear buddy will be on some of the things Rose + I did . . . I havent much time left to leave these truths behind for someone to know. As you and I know., No body knows me, / at all! . . . So Ill share memories with you, therefore at least my childhood friend does, here even in writing OK. I love ya gal. Catch ya in the next Kite. - P.S. You may want to keep these letters seperate from others, since they’ll contain true life events. Okee do Kee."
- 2 – childhood bullies, in love with sightseeing and abuse.
"In my teens, beginning around 13. Carl Maddox, Seduced me first into sexual activity. And from there I began to explore it with others. But there were also momments of unwillingness of where you could very well call it coercioned sex . . . These area’s of sexual encounters I assuredly constituted (as) rape, but shoved these events into a closet of my own, unknown to anyone. I was entrapped on many occassions by Clawson, Royal Oak, Uttica, Rochester, Sterling heights, and some troy boys in this ordeal to face. Around 13 to 14 / I was gang raped twice . . . Looking back I can only see that I was because I hung out with the guys. But . . . ! That does not mean I was asking for it . . . Normally we were partying getting drunk stoned or both when this would happen . . . Finding a boy friend from Royal Oak. . . . Bobby Rowland . . . I then thought . . . with him by my side would protect me from any further such events like rape. But wrong I was. The gang rapes where both during the time I was with Bobby parties outside of Detroit. So needless to say . . . I was now very experienced in the field of sexual assaults. This is why I feel a new Nation wide Law for Women of Self-defense should highly be considered. And every women, even adulesent, should learn Self defense, Also carry guns and know how to use them., when reaching a certain age. Like 21 . . ."
- 16? - Detroit – Busking to meet hippies and get drugs, attracting the attention of cops, “Well, suddenly up pulls a plain wrapper (regular Vehicle) with 4 white coats chargeing out and grabbing “Sara” . . “ finding out her childhood friend was a runaway from the loony bin her parents had put her in.
- 16 – 1972 – Peter’s Shelter – Rape threat at gun point - Lexington Kentucky
- 16 and 3 weeks – rapes and abuse
- 16 –Michigan to West Palm beach, Denver headin south on I-25, Sprucewood.” some 30 miles up in the mountains from Sedelia Colorado – first hitch, picked up by cop who pretended to take her to motel, taken to abandoned house with a matress where she could squat, came back with other officers and gangraped, Stayed in West Palm 5 months with a guy named cat, when cat left to head out back to his ex in Albequerque New Mexico, she headed out West and wound up for the Summer in Sedala Colorado, liven up in the mountains of xxxxx with Sam and Rose Stone. Sam accepted her as a run away and offered to stay with him + his wife and 9 year old boy named Peter. ‘At first I was like, no . . . I need to check out the states and sightsee. Then on second thought I agreed.’ She ‘started to fall in love with the creator and his creations’. Learnt a lot ’by these mountainous gypsies who loved cribbage (card game) and Hootnanning at night, (singing in a group and jamming out with all types of instruments). Rose would walk me through the Wilds and teach me of land animals and shootin. Shootin from a 357 mag. as well as a 15 shot winchester and even cross-bow 80 lb pull . . . There were times that Rose would take me to the only bar up there around for . . . miles., to shoot some pool . . . there I was a 16 year ol’ Kid with a non-registered gun strapped with raw hide around my leg from the bottom of the holster, shuckin balls around the pool table like Annie Oakly . . . Loved it! . . . I was then handed a key to a storage shed, and camp site combined, for 10 dollars a month. (Electrical bill). (One light bulb/inside.) located just down a revine from their cabin . .
- 16 – 1972 – Bakersfield California – picked up by Hells Angels, hitting it off over past suffering, pool and drinks. Crazy Joe T. Rip. Frenchy. Foot. stayed 3 days, since everybody else used nicknames, went by Apple a name acquired in Detroit.
- 16 ½ - Living around celebrities in Palmsprings / Seeing news of celebrities on death bed, message to Dawn to feel good about her death when it comes.
- 17 – 1973 – Finds dismembered woman’s body, couldn’t get police or truck driver to care to check.
- 17 – 1973 –Louiville Kentucky to Jeffersonville Indiana and back– ‘carrying always that motto to try anything’ went out on dates with customers at the topless bar, near death escape with murderer, lost job and staying with the gal, moved in with a chick who ran the Outlaws, but kicked out again when she realized she wasn’t going to be able to find a job for a while and help her with any rent with her face all black and blue. . . hitchhiking back a couple pulled picked her up thinking she was a guy who had been in a bar fight. Then when they found out she was female, gave her a place to stay for a good 3 weeks before her face came back somewhat enough to hitchhike in, then back out all over the roads of America.”
- 20 – 1976 – Atlantis condo, Ormond Beach, Daytona - Marriage to Lewie – reflecting how if anyone she knew found out how rich this guy was people would say she should’ve held on. How he was sexually perverted, controling, how she refuse and beat him near to killing him, put gun to his 22 rifle to his forehead, and demanded a devorce within 24 hours. Staying 2 Weeks till the divorce came through. Laughing about the article in the newspaper that says he picked her up from a nightclub he sang at. Imagining if it was true how she would have gone into Christian Rock.
- 22 to 24 – telling dawn not to blame herself because her family didn’t have the means to help her, the blame is solely on the abusers. Drunk suicide attempt when a guy broke up with her because his mom told him to.
- 23 – 1979 – Tara Technologies Corp Belfab, Daytona Beach – found a steady job £7.50 an hour, highest paying job that year.
- 29 – 1985 – Smart alex bar - “Toni, my first Lezzy encounter, girl I was liven with, after a year together”, Beating up a homophobe, getting cheered on and backed up by other bikers.
- ? – Fort Lauderdale going from Ohio to Troy, Michigan – Driving without a licence, jumping bail, getting freaked and flooring it past cops.
- ? – getting kicked in the goolies for trying to get her friends purse back, near miss for her lebido, “she also was Maxs sister. The guy I shot myself over. So/She found it lying in a ditch along side the road”, learning how to avoid getting robbed
- ? – Lauderdale - Staying with celebrities
- K - Keith Dies, Loris house, funeral, scattering ashes, radio omen
- K – Keith Hospital / Dawn visiting / Barry tortured Keith, family violence
- K – Keith’s Illness and Hospital – Last visit, keith disapproves of hooking, aileen trys to make plans to come back and support keith
- Z – Cop stories, a cop who was a regular customer of hers showing her a tape of 4 cops in uniform and their wives and a dog having an orgy.
- Z – Daytona Beach – Jobs; “Topless Bartender at a juke named Sam’s” for 2 weeks, 1 day as a stripper, the discreetness of hitchhiking hooking
- Z – drinking every day, hangover cures
- Z – reflecting on The good old days, entertainment at home, living like tv characters, winning pool bets, becoming an alcoholic
- Z – the beach – natural looking hooking
- Z - the Keys “under the bridge of US 1 and near the Ocean 80(s) motel resort”- sunbathing, treasure hunting and time travel