I am beginning to think I am better at pitching than I am at writing. At least, writing fiction. I have had encouragement from several professionals, but it was my daughter who has me wondering if I should be making any effort to write at all. Because this is the rejection and dejection thread, here is the story:
All the way back in the early seventies when I was a kid, everyone assumed I would be a writer. English was my best class and I was constantly writing stories. That changed around 1980 when I decided to be a professional artist. So, after determining that I would be an artist, I was still getting encouragement to be a writer. For instance, after leaving high school to start college when I was fifteen, I used to talk to a girl named Gretchen as we went to school together. She was always saying I should be a writer. Well, so what? She wasn't a publisher or published author, so I ignored these comments.
I started illustrating for various magazine and book publishers in New York, then tried my hand at drawing comic books. Before I got my first assignment from Marvel Comics, I brought my samples to a convention held at Javits center, hoping to find someone who would hire me. For some reason, while I showed my pages to Dennis Kitchen, publisher of Kitchen Sink Press, he asked me to write a horror story for him. Somehow, the story I had made to give myself something to draw made him think I would be better off writing than drawing. However, I had made up my mind, so I passed. A few years later, after cycling in and out of the comics business, I was working as a video game artist. I posted a long reply to something Roger Ebert had written on (I think) Compuserve. He responded to me directly and said I had potential as a writer, then asked permission to reproduce my comment in an upcoming book (which he did). So, that was the second piece of encouragement. Actually, there was another one in between. An illustrator/music video director/director I knew had also said he'd thought I'd be good at writing horror stories. Again, I don't know why because I don't like the genre.
After Ebert, I moved to LA to work in the film business. At this point my career as an artist was going very well, but I was still interested in writing. Then, when a comic I co-created became a TV series (Harsh Realm), I had an opportunity to take some time off and do some writing. I did this and wrote three and a half screenplays in a year. The second one got me a number of requests for the full script, and a very positive but non-committal review from an agent at William Morris. He said that it could be sold either as a low budget thriller or a big budget picture if I made some changes. I preferred the idea of a bigger sale, so the agency sent me three pages of notes and asked me to make the requested changes. This was quite exciting, but of course it was nothing concrete either. They liked my main character, but wanted me to add a strong female lead to make the story more interesting to audiences as well as people who would theoretically help make it. While thinking about this, I walked over to a friend's apartment and told him what was going on. He was a professional writer and gave me about five minutes of advice, then claimed a half credit on the script. I was so annoyed that I decided to write a completely new script and re-submit. I did not want to get in a credit tangle with anyone, no matter how frivolous their claim might be. However, I only got halfway before I needed to start making money again and I went back to being an art director.
The next piece of encouragement came from an unexpected source: the columnist Mona Charen. I had sent a 1500 word (or so) comment on one of her pieces. In reply, she said I could probably write my own columns for a living. She went so far as to send me her agent's contact info and recommended I get in touch. I contacted him, and he said I needed three 750 word columns as samples, and then he'd get back to me. At the time though, I was preparing to finish writing my first book, and I didn't feel like writing columns. Also, when I gave it a try, realized it was a lot different from simply commenting on a published piece. A few weeks later, another well-known syndicated columnist said pretty much the same thing to me that Charen had, in response to something I'd written in response to one of her columns. She didn't give me her agent's name, but said I should think about writing as a columnist.
Then I sent out queries for my book. Within about eight hours I had a response from Stephany Evans of Fine Print Literary. Within a week or so, she'd signed me up as a client. This was exciting, but I had no idea how the process worked. She read my MS carefully and sent back heaps of comments. I then made the suggested changes and would send it right back to her. I did this so quickly though (severall times) that I think it got tiresome. In any event, that didn't go anywhere.
Next, I took a job as a university lecturer. While doing this, I remembered that a textbook publisher had wanted me to write a textbook about computer graphics for them, so I contacted them. As a lecturer, I now had time to do it. I ended up writing three textbooks for them. They wanted a fourth, but I didn't have time for it because I am working on a PhD now--hopefully near completion.
I also finished the book Stephany had been agenting, but it went to a small publisher. They've sold in the hundreds but I still haven't seen any worthwhile royalties (I told the agent for the book to take herself out to lunch with the checks, because they weren't enough to do much more).
So that is all the professional encouragement I've had so far. It's enough to keep me interested, but not enough to be confident it is worth the risk and investment of going all the way. However, when my daughter asked me to write a novel a few years ago, for fun, I went ahead and did it. It was YA fiction and (I thought) quite funny. However, my daughter's face after she read it told the tale: she said it was funny on a chapter-by-chapter basis, but not structured right as a novel-length story. I had several requests for chapters, but none for the full MS. A year later, my daughter asked me to write a memoir, so I did. Again, I got nibbles, but none that went all the way. At this point, I was a piker by rejection letter standards. I might have received 100 in total since I started sending to agents in LA.
Now though, I am close to done with my PhD, I have written four published peer-reviewed journal articles, yet I still like MG and YA fiction. I want to take another stab at it. And yet, it feels impossible because when I read (for instance) S.E. Hinton, John D. Fitzgerald, Madeline D'Engel, or any of the other authors whose work I love, I see a voice that I haven't developed yet. It is something I'm told I do have when speaking, but is hard to find when I write for myself. It comes through in responses to other people, but not when I initiate the writing. I'm hoping this is behind me now and I can actually sit down and get something sold, but I wonder also, how do I get (or manufacture) what is missing?
Anyway, that's my dejection and rejection story, though I do aim to turn it around somehow. I decided to start a secret novel project last night, but then spilled the beans to my daughter an hour later. So now I am going to start over so I can honestly tell her the other one is not happening.
AP
All the way back in the early seventies when I was a kid, everyone assumed I would be a writer. English was my best class and I was constantly writing stories. That changed around 1980 when I decided to be a professional artist. So, after determining that I would be an artist, I was still getting encouragement to be a writer. For instance, after leaving high school to start college when I was fifteen, I used to talk to a girl named Gretchen as we went to school together. She was always saying I should be a writer. Well, so what? She wasn't a publisher or published author, so I ignored these comments.
I started illustrating for various magazine and book publishers in New York, then tried my hand at drawing comic books. Before I got my first assignment from Marvel Comics, I brought my samples to a convention held at Javits center, hoping to find someone who would hire me. For some reason, while I showed my pages to Dennis Kitchen, publisher of Kitchen Sink Press, he asked me to write a horror story for him. Somehow, the story I had made to give myself something to draw made him think I would be better off writing than drawing. However, I had made up my mind, so I passed. A few years later, after cycling in and out of the comics business, I was working as a video game artist. I posted a long reply to something Roger Ebert had written on (I think) Compuserve. He responded to me directly and said I had potential as a writer, then asked permission to reproduce my comment in an upcoming book (which he did). So, that was the second piece of encouragement. Actually, there was another one in between. An illustrator/music video director/director I knew had also said he'd thought I'd be good at writing horror stories. Again, I don't know why because I don't like the genre.
After Ebert, I moved to LA to work in the film business. At this point my career as an artist was going very well, but I was still interested in writing. Then, when a comic I co-created became a TV series (Harsh Realm), I had an opportunity to take some time off and do some writing. I did this and wrote three and a half screenplays in a year. The second one got me a number of requests for the full script, and a very positive but non-committal review from an agent at William Morris. He said that it could be sold either as a low budget thriller or a big budget picture if I made some changes. I preferred the idea of a bigger sale, so the agency sent me three pages of notes and asked me to make the requested changes. This was quite exciting, but of course it was nothing concrete either. They liked my main character, but wanted me to add a strong female lead to make the story more interesting to audiences as well as people who would theoretically help make it. While thinking about this, I walked over to a friend's apartment and told him what was going on. He was a professional writer and gave me about five minutes of advice, then claimed a half credit on the script. I was so annoyed that I decided to write a completely new script and re-submit. I did not want to get in a credit tangle with anyone, no matter how frivolous their claim might be. However, I only got halfway before I needed to start making money again and I went back to being an art director.
The next piece of encouragement came from an unexpected source: the columnist Mona Charen. I had sent a 1500 word (or so) comment on one of her pieces. In reply, she said I could probably write my own columns for a living. She went so far as to send me her agent's contact info and recommended I get in touch. I contacted him, and he said I needed three 750 word columns as samples, and then he'd get back to me. At the time though, I was preparing to finish writing my first book, and I didn't feel like writing columns. Also, when I gave it a try, realized it was a lot different from simply commenting on a published piece. A few weeks later, another well-known syndicated columnist said pretty much the same thing to me that Charen had, in response to something I'd written in response to one of her columns. She didn't give me her agent's name, but said I should think about writing as a columnist.
Then I sent out queries for my book. Within about eight hours I had a response from Stephany Evans of Fine Print Literary. Within a week or so, she'd signed me up as a client. This was exciting, but I had no idea how the process worked. She read my MS carefully and sent back heaps of comments. I then made the suggested changes and would send it right back to her. I did this so quickly though (severall times) that I think it got tiresome. In any event, that didn't go anywhere.
Next, I took a job as a university lecturer. While doing this, I remembered that a textbook publisher had wanted me to write a textbook about computer graphics for them, so I contacted them. As a lecturer, I now had time to do it. I ended up writing three textbooks for them. They wanted a fourth, but I didn't have time for it because I am working on a PhD now--hopefully near completion.
I also finished the book Stephany had been agenting, but it went to a small publisher. They've sold in the hundreds but I still haven't seen any worthwhile royalties (I told the agent for the book to take herself out to lunch with the checks, because they weren't enough to do much more).
So that is all the professional encouragement I've had so far. It's enough to keep me interested, but not enough to be confident it is worth the risk and investment of going all the way. However, when my daughter asked me to write a novel a few years ago, for fun, I went ahead and did it. It was YA fiction and (I thought) quite funny. However, my daughter's face after she read it told the tale: she said it was funny on a chapter-by-chapter basis, but not structured right as a novel-length story. I had several requests for chapters, but none for the full MS. A year later, my daughter asked me to write a memoir, so I did. Again, I got nibbles, but none that went all the way. At this point, I was a piker by rejection letter standards. I might have received 100 in total since I started sending to agents in LA.
Now though, I am close to done with my PhD, I have written four published peer-reviewed journal articles, yet I still like MG and YA fiction. I want to take another stab at it. And yet, it feels impossible because when I read (for instance) S.E. Hinton, John D. Fitzgerald, Madeline D'Engel, or any of the other authors whose work I love, I see a voice that I haven't developed yet. It is something I'm told I do have when speaking, but is hard to find when I write for myself. It comes through in responses to other people, but not when I initiate the writing. I'm hoping this is behind me now and I can actually sit down and get something sold, but I wonder also, how do I get (or manufacture) what is missing?
Anyway, that's my dejection and rejection story, though I do aim to turn it around somehow. I decided to start a secret novel project last night, but then spilled the beans to my daughter an hour later. So now I am going to start over so I can honestly tell her the other one is not happening.
AP