Jumping around on timeline?

Anberlin · Dec 1, 2015

Hello, I have a question about jump back and forth on my timeline without being confusing.
I am writing a ya suspense novel in 1st person past POV.

The majority of the action occurs in 2015, but in the first 4 (at least) chapters, there are several flashbacks that need to occur in order for the story to build suspense and for certain things to make sense.

So, basically, so far I have three chapters completed and it goes something like this:

Chapter 1
July 15 2015
two years ago
July 13 2015
five years ago

Chapter 2
July 13 2015
July 15 2015

Chapter 3
10+years ago
July 17 1015

I don't know how many more flashback that I need before I can just stay in one time period.
I think I've done a good job of telling what time it is with the first line of each scene "When I was 13..." "The day after the body was found..." But, I just want to make sure that the story doesn't confuse readers.

Some of the scenes are about 700-1000 words, some are much longer.

Basically, what I want to know is: Is it enough to tell in the first sentence what part of the timeline the story is told in? Should I put a date before each scene? Should I just separate each time jump into it's own chapter? Any examples of a writer doing this effectively?

I think that the story flows pretty well, I just want to make sure that the readers will be able to follow.

Glyax · Dec 1, 2015

Hmm, I'd say possibly if you wanted to ensure the reader was tracking the time change, you could start a new paragraph within the piece and put the date in bold above it, showing the transmission, something like...

It all happened three years ago...

Dec 2, 2012
It was a cold morning, as is the norm in December, and I distinclty remember...

Glyax · Dec 1, 2015

If they are few and far between, ive used italicies to depict flashbacks, sorry for short responses, am on my phone

whiporee · Dec 1, 2015

I use a lot of flashbacks. Let me rephrase. I used a lot of flashbacks. My editor and agent told me to cut it out -- to keep there action in the present because it helps keeps the reader focused.

Horseshoes · Dec 1, 2015

You've gotten good advice. Here's one more suggestion: Keep going. You can always change it later (can't edit a blank page). If what you're doing is what feel natural, just write, write, write.

Anberlin · Dec 1, 2015

whiporee said:
I use a lot of flashbacks. Let me rephrase. I used a lot of flashbacks. My editor and agent told me to cut it out -- to keep there action in the present because it helps keeps the reader focused.

How can you keep the action in the present if something integral to the story happened years ago? Is there a way to tell what happened without an info dump or flashing back?

Anberlin · Dec 1, 2015

Also, I probably should have mentioned that this is my second draft. I write messy first drafts (all tell, no show) so, now I'm rewriting and making it actually readable.

One of my concerns with putting the date before the flashback is that it would give the reader a reason to pause and try to remember what they read last time they saw a date around that time instead of just starting to read and picking it up in the first sentence, if that makes sense. I know that in the past, when I have seen dates in books, I've been tempted to go back and look at whatever I saw last from that time period before I even start reading. It broke me out of the world that I was reading.

Thanks for all of you guys' input. Very helpful!

When I have enough posts, I will have to post a bit of it in SYW to see what kind of reaction it gets.

Bufty · Dec 2, 2015

''Jumping around' in any fashion is not usually a good idea. Try following what someone is trying to say when they leap all over the place while talking to you.

Flashbacks are usually triggered by something and that 'something' should be where the flashback occurs. Your flashbacks do not seem to be flashbacks at all but attempts to set the scene and introduce stuff so the reader 'gets it'.

Forget introductions. Decide where your story really starts - let the story unfold from there and when a flashback is triggered that's the point where the flashback belongs.

Why do I need to know now what happened before I've even read anything? It's not going to be in context or make much sense and it had darned well better be very interesting indeed. On the other hand , if it is interesting, why then yank me out of that story and throw me into another flashback?

Only you know how much detail of what happened earlier really warrants a flashback at all. Dialogue is one way of letting the reader become aware of something that happened in the past. Or simple narrative if it's a minor incident.

Your post# 7 is itself good reason to think twice about your series of opening flashbacks.

Good luck.

Anberlin said:
How can you keep the action in the present if something integral to the story happened years ago? Is there a way to tell what happened without an info dump or flashing back?

Anberlin · Dec 2, 2015

Bufty said:
''Jumping around' in any fashion is not usually a good idea. Try following what someone is trying to say when they leap all over the place while talking to you.

I guess flashbacks are not best practices.

I'm new to seriously writing and these are things I need to know!

You mentioned using "simple narrative". I tried to google it but, I don't think I understand how it is different from a flashback. What does it mean?

I definitely think I'm starting the novel in the correct place, with suspense from the start. I might be able to go back and remove the flashbacks and try to work the information into the present.

Bufty · Dec 2, 2015

Read books of the sort you wish to write.

Nothing wrong with flashbacks at all. It depends how they are executed and slotted in to the narrative.

By the phrase 'simple narrative' all I meant was cover the flashback in a short paragraph if possible as opposed to making it a whole scene or chapter. Depends what the flashback covers.

Suspense isn't caused by flashbacks per se. It's caused by content. A flashback is by definition the past- it's dead and gone- where's the suspense? You may think you have suspense because you know why you are writing what you are writing and where it fits in to the overall story. You know what lies ahead.

The reader of an opening flashback knows nothing at all and only builds his information up from reading what has been written- word by word and sentence by sentence, in the order they are written.

Anberlin said:
I guess flashbacks are not best practices.

I'm new to seriously writing and these are things I need to know!

You mentioned using "simple narrative". I tried to google it but, I don't think I understand how it is different from a flashback. What does it mean?

I definitely think I'm starting the novel in the correct place, with suspense from the start. I might be able to go back and remove the flashbacks and try to work the information into the present.

Anberlin · Dec 2, 2015

I'm not starting the novel with a flash back. The novel is in past tense so, I'm not sure how to say "present day" because that isn't necessarily true.

I'll see where I can get, putting the information into short paragraphs.

Thanks so much for your help!

Bufty · Dec 2, 2015

Imagine the reader is sitting opposite you, listening to you relating your experience. That's in essence what's happening in First person POV. Only you are writing it down instead of speaking it - it's the same thing.

Don't overthink things.

Anberlin said:
I'm not starting the novel with a flash back. The novel is in past tense so, I'm not sure how to say "present day" because that isn't necessarily true.

I'll see where I can get, putting the information into short paragraphs.

Thanks so much for your help!

BethS · Dec 2, 2015

Anberlin said:
Hello, I have a question about jump back and forth on my timeline without being confusing.
I am writing a ya suspense novel in 1st person past POV.
follow.

I don't think the flashbacks will be a problem as long as it's made clear that that's what they are. Dates will help, but starting each one with a transitional sentence (as in your examples) would be good, too.

What concerns me are the shifts between July 15 and July 13. Particularly as you start with July 15, go into a flashback, and then return to the present, but two days earlier. And again later, you shift between those two days. That strikes me as rather odd, and potentially very confusing.

Jumping around on timeline?

Anberlin

Glyax

Self-proclaimed Wordsmith

Glyax

Self-proclaimed Wordsmith

whiporee

Horseshoes

lisapreston.com

Anberlin

Anberlin

Bufty

Where have the last ten years gone?

Anberlin

Bufty

Where have the last ten years gone?

Anberlin

Bufty

Where have the last ten years gone?

BethS