Authors & Catfishing
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Anna, I would be your friend even if you were secretly a weird straight guy pretending to be a woman.
(But if you're not actually British, we're through.)
Well, there's no danger of that. Cor blimey, tally ho, bowler hats and tea.
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Anna, I would be your friend even if you were secretly a weird straight guy pretending to be a woman.
(But if you're not actually British, we're through.)
I thought you were talking about amergina, based on the cover in her avatar, and I was about to attest some of your statement is true while the rest is false.
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Haha. Oh yeah, her name is Anna too. I guess I'm just used to calling her Amergina.
I've been thinking about it and wondering which is worse - sometimes getting fooled by liars, or having to treat everyone with suspicion and assuming the worst abut them?
Being cautious is sensible of course. You can't always know if anyone you only know online is who they say they are. But online friendships are just as real and important to many people as offline ones, so it's hard to say "never send them money" etc. People make their own judgment on that. Most of the time things will be exactly as they appear and the person will be telling the truth.
If we go too cautious we're suspicious all the time and that's not a good place to be in. It means people who do want to keep their real world identity secret for perfectly good reasons will be assumed to be up to no good. People might be accused of faking or pretending to be a particular gender when the situation is a lot more complicated, like for trans people.
Personally I prefer to treat most people at face value (while keeping in mind that they might not be who they say they are) and not assume I have any right to know more than they choose to disclose - unless I have good reason to believe they are causing harm to others.
Being cautious is sensible of course. You can't always know if anyone you only know online is who they say they are. But online friendships are just as real and important to many people as offline ones, so it's hard to say "never send them money" etc. People make their own judgment on that. Most of the time things will be exactly as they appear and the person will be telling the truth.
If we go too cautious we're suspicious all the time and that's not a good place to be in. It means people who do want to keep their real world identity secret for perfectly good reasons will be assumed to be up to no good. People might be accused of faking or pretending to be a particular gender when the situation is a lot more complicated, like for trans people.
Personally I prefer to treat most people at face value (while keeping in mind that they might not be who they say they are) and not assume I have any right to know more than they choose to disclose - unless I have good reason to believe they are causing harm to others.
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I'm the same way, Becky. I take people at face value, and only expect more than what's presented if they're expecting the same of me. For example, I'll take another author's word for who they are, but if I'm going to co-write with them, I expect more transparency. I've met all of my co-authors in person at least once (most of them many times), and we have mutual friends who can also vouch for them. I need to be able to trust a co-author.
When it comes to giving people money (for example, people who've done fundraisers during hard times), I'll donate if I can. If it comes out later that they're not who they say they are or the circumstances were fabricated, well...I can still sleep at night. It's on them, not me.
When it comes to giving people money (for example, people who've done fundraisers during hard times), I'll donate if I can. If it comes out later that they're not who they say they are or the circumstances were fabricated, well...I can still sleep at night. It's on them, not me.
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