- Joined
- Dec 9, 2009
- Messages
- 4,689
- Reaction score
- 713
Hey guys!
I know we've talked about cursing to death over the years, but I'm struggling with what to do with my MS that I'm currently reading through. I queried it about two years ago, but only to a small handful of agents (maybe 10?) and didn't get any bites on it. I was already in an icky place emotionally at the time, so I put the novel aside and decided it wasn't a good time for me to query as I wasn't in a place mentally to handle rejections.
The story is a psychological thriller (upper YA) about a girl being stalked by her ex-boyfriend. My concern is that even in the opening chapter, there are a lot of curses. I mean, not like every other word, but the F bomb is thrown in there several times as the scene starts with a high school party in a basement and the MC's boyfriend (not yet her ex) somehow discovers she went to the party and shows up and a fight ensues between her boyfriend and her BFFs boyfriend. The curses feel natural to me and I can't imagine a bunch of H.S. teens having an argument/fight and saying "hell" and "damn" only. I hear the way teens talk when adults aren't around and I clearly remember the way me and my friends talked in H.S. and beyond. So, this brings me to my dilemma about whether I will be turning agents off by having all these curses in the opening chapter. I can change the curses if I must, but when I read it as such, it just doesn't sound real to me or give the same emphasis/feel to the scene that I'm going for. Also, the MC's BFF and her boyfriend are major potty mouths as part of their characterization and it's addressed in the novel and something they actively work on (they implement a swear jar--not for Bud Light but to put toward renting a limo for prom night), but again, is it too much for agents/readers? I could take out that little subplot of the cursing characters/swear jar, but must I? (I know I don't have to do anything, but I want to increase the MS's chances.)
Thanks for your thoughts.
I know we've talked about cursing to death over the years, but I'm struggling with what to do with my MS that I'm currently reading through. I queried it about two years ago, but only to a small handful of agents (maybe 10?) and didn't get any bites on it. I was already in an icky place emotionally at the time, so I put the novel aside and decided it wasn't a good time for me to query as I wasn't in a place mentally to handle rejections.
The story is a psychological thriller (upper YA) about a girl being stalked by her ex-boyfriend. My concern is that even in the opening chapter, there are a lot of curses. I mean, not like every other word, but the F bomb is thrown in there several times as the scene starts with a high school party in a basement and the MC's boyfriend (not yet her ex) somehow discovers she went to the party and shows up and a fight ensues between her boyfriend and her BFFs boyfriend. The curses feel natural to me and I can't imagine a bunch of H.S. teens having an argument/fight and saying "hell" and "damn" only. I hear the way teens talk when adults aren't around and I clearly remember the way me and my friends talked in H.S. and beyond. So, this brings me to my dilemma about whether I will be turning agents off by having all these curses in the opening chapter. I can change the curses if I must, but when I read it as such, it just doesn't sound real to me or give the same emphasis/feel to the scene that I'm going for. Also, the MC's BFF and her boyfriend are major potty mouths as part of their characterization and it's addressed in the novel and something they actively work on (they implement a swear jar--not for Bud Light but to put toward renting a limo for prom night), but again, is it too much for agents/readers? I could take out that little subplot of the cursing characters/swear jar, but must I? (I know I don't have to do anything, but I want to increase the MS's chances.)
Thanks for your thoughts.
Last edited: