People keep forgetting my trans character is trans? Please help?

That sounds like the readers are the one with the problem. You don't want to hit the reader over the head with it...especially since it's not what the story is about. I think it's important to have normative stories with the spectrum represented without the story being about the spectrum. That's awesome. Other than planting the information throughout the story, potentially making it appear as a sloppy info-dump, I don't know how you can do it. They should know, though...there must be a way to plant it so that it sticks throughout the story---if it's necessary for it to stick. What confuses me most about this is that his love interest is a girl and they're still reading him as a gay guy. It's a bit perplexing. His character traits? Does he need adjusting somehow? Sorry I can't be of any help. I'm currently writing a trans character...I did not foresee this issue. I'll be watching for suggestions. (-:

Perhaps slip in an explanation? I'm thinking of the movie To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything. It's very quick, but could make a difference. Or perhaps add a scene that mirrors what your friends say and point it out in the scene that he's not gay?

Are you using that character's POV or some other character's?

I guess you could show him taking testosterone as part of his routine at some point during a lull in the story. This could be fit in without sounding awkward if you're showing some of his home life. Otherwise just state it in the beginning to help people understand his point of view of the world -- along with anything else needed for that -- and assume readers will be able to retain that information.

Have your friends explained what impression they're getting, or are they just referring to him as gay? Is it possible that your friends associate "gay" with all men under the LGBTQ umbrella?

I've found that a lot of people who aren't that familiar with LGBTQ terms and identities mistakenly conflate gender identity and sexual orientation. Is it possible that your friends don't realize that "gay" isn't the best label for your character?

I was going to say the same thing as Dancing Maenid. There's a lot of confusion about the difference between being cisgender but gay or bi and being transgender but straight or bi. Short of having the character stand up and give a speech, I don't know what can be done, unless maybe you were to include some kind of introduction (not a prologue) explaining what it is to be transgender. Sort of like Richard Adams had with Watership Down (not the best comparison, I know, but that's the book that come to mind). I don't know if introductions of this kind are used much anymore in works of fiction, though. It might be something to talk over with an editor.

KTC said:

That sounds like the readers are the one with the problem.

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^This was my thought as well. People are weird about LGBT issues, sometimes. They honestly might not get it.

Bisexual men often get called gay. As a bisexual woman, I've been called a lesbian before (like, literally right after I told someone I was bisexual, they started referring to me as a lesbian). It's fucking annoying. If you've shown your character being attracted to both men and women, and your character has outright said he's bisexual, well, there's not much more you can do about it.

Shadow Dragon said:

I guess you could show him taking testosterone as part of his routine at some point during a lull in the story. This could be fit in without sounding awkward if you're showing some of his home life. Otherwise just state it in the beginning to help people understand his point of view of the world -- along with anything else needed for that -- and assume readers will be able to retain that information.

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This struck me as a good idea.

Another suggestion: I hate to suggest this, I really do, but you might consider making your transgender character straight. If you take the issues apart and deal with them separately, it might be easier to educate your readers.

Viridian said:

Another suggestion: I hate to suggest this, I really do, but you might consider making your transgender character straight. If you take the issues apart and deal with them separately, it might be easier to educate your readers.

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I'm lost now. I thought he was already straight. It was a girl transed to a guy whose love interest is a girl. So he's straight. Am I missing something?

KTC said:

I'm lost now. I thought he was already straight. It was a girl transed to a guy whose love interest is a girl. So he's straight. Am I missing something?

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The OP said the character is bisexual.

KTC said:

I'm lost now. I thought he was already straight. It was a girl transed to a guy whose love interest is a girl. So he's straight. Am I missing something?

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This.

TheWhich said:

The main characters just happen to be a bisexual trans guy and a cisgender lesbian. [...]

Friends and others who have read what I have written so far keep forgetting that's he's transgender and start reading him as gay, which is especially odd as I even say he is transgender and bisexual several times in the text.

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TheWhich said:

In a creative writing class, I wrote a short in the pov of a trans character's friend. I really didn't want to just say it outright, because I was still in the process of figuring it out for myself and I didn't want anyone in the class to think I was trans, so I just sort of alluded to him being trans, referred to a time when he was referred to as a girl and everything. Made references to him still having breasts, his dad being unaccepting of him. Implied the pov character's mom still thought of him as Darcy, not Silas. But everyone in the class, except the teacher, thought he was just gay, not trans. So ever since then I've tried to be more obvious about it, but I guess I still need to work on it.

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As some said, I think this time is more fault of the crowd than your writing. Sadly, there are not many trans characters in the mainsteam and much less trans male characters and some cues tend to be missed. I'm a fan of Sense8 and reading comments of the fans, not many caught she was trans until she had an encounter with a TERF in the first episode. I actually thought the scene where she recieves her hormones shot meant she was doing drugs. Even though her character is firmly established as trans, gets deadnamed by her mother among other things, I read a comment or two of people who didn't get Nomi was trans. Why? Because they probably haven't seen a trans character who goes against the stereotypes that media loves to perpetuate, much less a protagonist. Because the same media tends to conflate gender and orientation, among other things.

That is why your work is important, TheWhich. Yes, it's frustrating finding people that don't get it. I've faced some remarks on using Spanish in stories written in English that I think can be roughly compared to how do you feel and gives me assurance that breaking barriers and doing something not everyone has done before is important.

I'm certainly no expert, so here's my two cents, for what they're worth on the open market. If your character is a trans guy--FTM--and you've indicated it in the opening paragraphs of your novel, and you've also mentioned he's bisexual, then the people reading it and saying he's gay really don't understand the terms you're using. As a cisgender straight guy myself, even I don't quite get all the terms there are, so I do my best to understand and when I don't, I ask. I think your friends simply don't understand which terms are the correct ones to use.

As the writer of a novel which featured a transgender character (see avi) I was particularly careful to use the correct terms and keep things simple. In my case, I did it from the MC's point of view, first person, a cisgender straight guy. It worked better that way for me. In your case, I don't see how you could make it any clearer to your audience save having a conversation between your MC and those who don't get it--which you've said you did and it was kind of awkward (your words)--but that could work as well, if you made the conversation funny or clever. Really, though, I think the people who read your work need to work on their understanding of the correct terminology.

I just finished writing a book with a trans man (who is straight aka attracted to girls). Here's what I did:

He has an identical twin sister, so I was able to have him look at her at one point and think that's what he would have looked like if he decided not to transition.

Have a brief flashback scene where he asks her to call him by his new name.

Mentioned he took puberty blockers for a bit before getting a testosterone implant.

He had such a good doctor for his surgery that it inspired him to be a doctor himself.

Something happened to him that upset him a lot because it took away his autonomy (staying vague), and he explained it to the main character that because he spent so much time and care making his body fit his mind, that someone messing with his mind was even more upsetting.

So I did a lot of little things that ended up weaving into the storyline. Some of the chapters are from his POV. But overall it's a fast paced thriller, and he's been trans since he was a kid (and everyone accepted it; in this near future it's not a big deal at all) so he doesn't think about being trans all the time. He's trans and that's an important part of his identity, but he also has to do a bunch of other stuff in the book. I don't really explicitly state his sexuality, but as my MC is his love interest, I guess people would figure it out.

I anticipate people will keep forgetting as they read anyway, because maybe they're not used to reading much about trans people, but there's not much I can do about that.

I think as long as you put the terms in there and make it clear the character's trans, then you should be okay.

Isn't this an ironic blessing in disguise? After all, while technically "different" indeed, isn't the biggest struggle for trans people that society will not acknowledge their gender identity as being a fully valid form of either gender? Maybe people forgetting that this character is different, is progress, in a way?

I guess it depends on how much you want this to be a major part of the character. On one hand, I've gotten responses of "you write a trans character by just making them the character they identify as, and then you've succeeded in making a believable trans character". On the other hand, this doesn't exactly help issues of diversity. I would probably say to just include small bits of information as needed, things that would be natural in day-to-day life, and that's probably enough of a hint, unless and until being trans becomes the source of a major conflict (a relationship ends because of expectations of physical functions, for instance).