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Thread: Realistic Poetry International

  1. #1
    Wilde about Oscar aliceshortcake's Avatar
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    Realistic Poetry International

    Ye gods! I had no idea the world of poetry was so red in tooth and claw:

    It is inevitable to conclude that most poets and poetry companies are in it for self and personal monetary gain. It saddens me to see such a prestigious art, such as poetry, develop into a selfish, gluttonous, get rich scheme and hustle.
    http://www.realisticpoetry.com/
    So says (I think) Delano Johnson, who with his wife Callie is the owner of Realistic Poetry. The site itself and RP's book covers are hideous, Mr Johnson's grammar is enough to set your teeth on edge, but at least it's a paying market for poets...or is it?

    The idea seems to be that RP buys poetry books sent in by readers and leaves reviews on websites and social media. They also have a bizarre and complicated set-up in which poets post their work on RP's site, get feedback from other poets and have a chance to win between $1 and $200. Or something. I've read this section three times and I still don't understand it, so l'll just leave it with you:

    http://www.realisticpoetry.com/earn-money-facts

    Well, that made everything crystal clear. And I'm sure we can all agree on one thing:

    Poetry is a gift to the world, full of surprise! It is like a precious embellished ornamnet that sometimes even fancily decorates our hearts, beutifully with charm and grace.
    Yup.

    Seriously, I'm alarmed that the Johnsons don't even understand that publication on the internet COUNTS AS PUBLICATION.

    Finally we get to the heart of the matter - the fact that RP is a publisher.

    Realistic Poetry Interantional is always interested in publishing and assisting poets of all skill levels.
    http://www.realisticpoetry.com/print...hing-services1
    Oh, I'll bet you are... Needless to say there are several publishing packages available, one of them - Poetry's Gold Ruby - especially for the first time poet (coming soon). Do you want 100 50-page books? For a mere $737 they can be yours! Or you could really push the boat out with the De-luxe Onyx package, which will get you 100 books of 200 pages...for which no price is given. All but the cheapest package includes free editing and cover design, presumably by the Johnsons themselves. One can only hope the editing will be better than that of RP's website:

    If you are going to sell your book inside of a store you will need an ISBN and a barcode. To protect your work you will need to have it copywritten.
    *sigh*

    It may or may not be a coincidence that Realistic Poetry is splurged all over the Facebook of Bolade Omo Niaja/Korede Abayomi, head honcho of our old chum ParaDon Books.
    Last edited by aliceshortcake; 09-15-2015 at 02:35 AM.
    "There is only one thing worse than being obliged to sit cross-legged on the grass, and that is being obliged to sit cross-legged on the grass near an ant colony"
    Oscar Wilde (citation needed)

  2. #2
    Born at sea Clairels's Avatar
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    Let me get this straight. They start out denouncing as selfish, gluttonous hustlers those who seek monetary gain from poetry (if there's anybody, anywhere, in all of human history, who has gotten rich off writing or publishing poetry, I have yet to hear of them).

    Then they turn around and ask over $700 for a poetry publishing package.



    Let me just say, that takes chutzpah.
    Last edited by Clairels; 09-10-2015 at 10:36 PM.

  3. #3
    Grr. Argh. Thedrellum's Avatar
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    No understanding of poetry or the world or the poetry world at all.

    Though I'm sure someone could make a great found poem from the mess that is that website.

  4. #4
    Wilde about Oscar aliceshortcake's Avatar
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    It's downright obscene, isn't it?

    Have a look at this:

    We will extend a true hand of support to the poetry community and we pledge to honestly help in any way we are able so that we may inspire others that are also on a positive mission, spreading the truth through the power of poetry. We have wanted to do so for a very long time now, but were financially incapable, however, as God continues to bless us, we make it our mission to give back to the world. Don’t get us wrong, we are not rich at all, we are just like you.


    No doubt they've been blessed by poets who gave them hundreds of dollars for poorly edited books, most of which will end up in a cardboard box under the bed.
    Last edited by aliceshortcake; 09-11-2015 at 01:14 AM.
    "There is only one thing worse than being obliged to sit cross-legged on the grass, and that is being obliged to sit cross-legged on the grass near an ant colony"
    Oscar Wilde (citation needed)

  5. #5
    Wilde about Oscar aliceshortcake's Avatar
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    The ignorance is staggering. If you click onto RP's site or Delano Johnson's Facebook and put your ear very close to the monitor you can almost hear the words 'Dunning Kruger effect':

    Realistic Poetry has noticed, most people tend to merely support just the celebrities and the famous, but what about us, the regular artists? The everyday poet. What about the poet who wishes for success so that they may quit their day job in effort to put all of their time and energy into their art and craft?
    http://www.realisticpoetry.com/
    Poets quitting their day jobs? What colour is the sky in this chap's world?!

    Win $100.00 today! Submit your poetry!

    Not only do poets get the chance to meet agents and editors, they will also gain the opportunity to get their writing published and their work and name in the hands of new poetry readers.

    https://m.facebook.com/djohnsonpoet?_rdr
    Before you all cry "Agents for poetry?", you need to know that the contest is run by RP itself. The Johnsons will be the editors - will they represent themselves as agents too?

    There's also something rather tasteless about the wording of the Save a Life With Poetry contest, which makes it sound like a fundraiser for charity.

    Still, I was amused to discover that the RP anthology 'Love Quotes' by Delano and Callie consists entirely of quotes from their RP novel 'Rare Images of Love'. Even more surprisingly, another RP anthology, 'Words That Changed the World', opens with a stream of quotes by the couple and for all I know may well continue in this vein for 249 pages. Honestly, were it not for the fact that Mr Johnson is a serious artist - his work has appeared on poetry.com - I wouldn't know what to think.


  6. #6
    permaflounced
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thedrellum View Post
    No understanding of poetry or the world or the poetry world at all.

    Though I'm sure someone could make a great found poem from the mess that is that website.

    How could I resist such a challenge?


    Realistic Poetry

    With us being poets,
    we do understand
    in today’s society it cost money
    to do what you love

    It saddens me to see
    such a prestigious art,
    such as poetry,
    develop into a selfish,
    gluttonous,
    get-rich scheme
    and hustle.


    Poetry is a healer and oasis to many that are hopeless
    .....a gift to the world, full of surprise!
    .....like a precious embellished ornamnet
    .....that sometimes even fancily decorates our hearts,
    .....beutifully with charm and grace
    especially if it pertains to a positive enlightening message;
    often which poetry does.

    we are done just talking
    about what we would like to do
    to help the poetry community.

    We will resourcefully use
    what we have to begin growing poetry
    and all of its most treasurable, valuable seeds!

    That is all.

  7. #7
    Wilde about Oscar aliceshortcake's Avatar
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    That was simply beutiful, not to mention ornamnetal. It really decorated my heart.
    "There is only one thing worse than being obliged to sit cross-legged on the grass, and that is being obliged to sit cross-legged on the grass near an ant colony"
    Oscar Wilde (citation needed)

  8. #8
    Wilde about Oscar aliceshortcake's Avatar
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    Whoah! RP's top-of-the-line package will set you back $1049.33 for 100 books with 200 pages.

    RP has clearly lifted the template of its publishing packages from elsewhere. There are mysterious references to advertising your gym and its facilities, not to mention that you can get a 'customised storyline' when you buy 'superior custom edits'.

    Weird...
    "There is only one thing worse than being obliged to sit cross-legged on the grass, and that is being obliged to sit cross-legged on the grass near an ant colony"
    Oscar Wilde (citation needed)

  9. #9
    permaflounced
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    I think I'll just continue to post my poetry on AW. It's cheaper.

  10. #10

  11. #11
    Wilde about Oscar aliceshortcake's Avatar
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    Agreed. CassandraW really should give up her day job and devote all her time to poetry!
    "There is only one thing worse than being obliged to sit cross-legged on the grass, and that is being obliged to sit cross-legged on the grass near an ant colony"
    Oscar Wilde (citation needed)

  12. #12
    The King and Queen of Cheese BenPanced's Avatar
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    I don't give a flying shit about who they are and what they're doing and how they're going to change the world of poetry. An audio file automatically playing with no visible way of letting me stop it = me automatically closing the page and never opening it again.
    I still poop rainbows.




    I won't steal any of your ideas. I have enough of my own I'm not using.


  13. #13
    Wilde about Oscar aliceshortcake's Avatar
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    Yes, I would have warned you about that were it not for the fact that my speakers were switched off.
    "There is only one thing worse than being obliged to sit cross-legged on the grass, and that is being obliged to sit cross-legged on the grass near an ant colony"
    Oscar Wilde (citation needed)

  14. #14
    Wilde about Oscar aliceshortcake's Avatar
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    I just couldn't keep away from this browser-crashing monstrosity of a website - it's even worse than I originally thought. If Delano and Callie weren't asking for ridiculous amounts of money upfront I'd suspect that they'd learned a few lessons from PublishAmerica:

    Have you already written a book? Are you now looking for a publisher? Have you searched out and submitted your manuscript to dozens of publishing companies only to be rejected time and time again? If you've answered yes to any of these questions, Realistic Poetry International Publishing is your solution! Realistic Poetry International Publishing is a family-owned business, mainline publishing organization, with a mission to discover and market anonymous authors.


    I don't think 'anonymous' is the word you were looking for, but let's press on:

    We know how hard it is as a poet to find a good publisher and we know it is even more challenging to find a publisher that will take a chance on undiscovered poetry. Here, at Realistic Poetry, we make it easy! Poets have two fantastic options to choose from! For the poet that would like to self-publish, Poetrys Gold Ruby Package is the perfect selection!
    So you're a real publisher willing to take a chance on undiscovered poetry...by acting as a printer? Let's take a look at some of the individual services you offer:

    Cover - $100
    Fliers and posters - $150
    Editing - $50
    Website and social media - $150
    Single ISBN - $175
    ISBN and Barcode - $200
    Copyright registration - $150

    RP also offers distribution for $150, but thanks to the site's craptastic design I couldn't read the details of how they hope to distribute vanity-pubbed poetry chapbooks that cost the author over $100 each (Callie recommends the 'Pearl' package - 100 75-page books for an "affordable" $794.81).

    I'd hate to leave the impression that the Johnsons are only interested in money. The good news is that they provide free and honest book reviews. The bad news is...well, take a look at an extract from a typical review:

    Some poetic allegories, like the Wine Writer, in the beginning of the collection, engage in a torturous mental journey of a much too familiar feeling of unpleasant karma, with a male broken spirit soaking in a demising agony of suicidal cognitive contemplations. While on the contrary, in a world of ritualistic pleasing and devoted satisfaction, an industrious woman that lacks beauty, in which Sam labels, the traditional wife in the poem entitled, “The Human Shock Absorber”, seems to be the perfect ideal wife, until an overaged and long ignored infidelity looms it’s grim and grisly shadow upon her, and the love she conserves upon a marital pedestal, discovers a weapon to once and for all, absorb a bittersweet shock.
    The prose...SHE IS PURPLE

    Thank goodness poor Sam didn't have to pay for it!



    Last edited by aliceshortcake; 09-15-2015 at 03:00 PM.
    "There is only one thing worse than being obliged to sit cross-legged on the grass, and that is being obliged to sit cross-legged on the grass near an ant colony"
    Oscar Wilde (citation needed)

  15. #15
    Grr. Argh. Thedrellum's Avatar
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    That reads like some of the word salad spam I've gotten over the years. It's almost a talent to write that poorly.

  16. #16
    Wilde about Oscar aliceshortcake's Avatar
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    Don't miss the 'free book reviews' section - it would be hilarious were it not for the fact that these poor poets are proudly displaying said word salad on Amazon in a bid to boost sales.

    My post on RP's Facebook suggesting that they might like to defend themselves against the criticism of their fees made here was deleted within minutes.
    "There is only one thing worse than being obliged to sit cross-legged on the grass, and that is being obliged to sit cross-legged on the grass near an ant colony"
    Oscar Wilde (citation needed)

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