Elevator Pitch

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bettybadA

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I know it is lacking. Basic *very* theme. The next step would be to build on that.

I'm just going to move on. I don't think this is very helpful, and I will have to have words with the friend that recommended it. For anyone out there looking to use this method, don't. It's called the "snow flake method". It was recommended in the forums. It's a waste of time if you are editing. Thankyou to all that took the time to help.

Just so that people know what I am talking about....

http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/articles/snowflake-method/



 
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Samsonet

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Sorry we couldn't be more helpful. I was confused about why an elevator pitch needed feedback if it wasn't a pitch and was just to help with editing, but your other posts cleared that up a bit. It's an interesting premise. Don't give up! Even non-traditional methods can still get the job done. :)
 

BethS

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Ok, re- re- revised one sentence summary. What do you think?

A mercenary and a psychic fight to stop a mad Archangel's plot to enslave humanity.

Next question. Is it interesting?

Honestly? Not particularly. What would make it interesting (to me, anyway) is some hint of the internal conflict of the main character.

But if the purpose of this elevator pitch is just to boil the story down to its most essential element, as a tool to help you revise, then it doesn't matter whether it's interesting. It just has to fulfill its purpose.
 

Ton Lew Lepsnaci

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Yes, the question on whether readers find the one-liner interesting put me on the wrong foot as well. If you're looking for info on whether people are interested in the story, then character growth/stakes etc are crucial.

I'm not sure you can dismiss the snowflake method on this basis either. I never read up on that method, but your questions seem to indicate you want the exercise from the method to serve too many purposes in one go, perhaps beyond the intended purpose of the method (?)

You're definitely on the right track trying to boil down the core of your story when doing an edit. It helps to focus the mind on what needs to be done.
 
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