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How to know if you can even write erotica.

Thread starter ErezMA
Start date Jul 23, 2015

ErezMA

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Jul 23, 2015

#1

So I've always been intrigued by erotica. There's this whole feeling that what you're writing is wrong, but it feels right. I feel there is a tightrope that you need to walk where you need to be naughty enough to reel in the audience, but tame enough to not cross a morale threshold.

How do you even enter this genre? Should you write romance first? Is this like a guitarist learning to play rock music before he can delve into metal?

Again, I've been intrigued by erotica. I want to try it, but I feel I'll fall off one side of the rope or the other. I feel like many of you would suggest, "Just do it!" ...but this isn't kids play.

Viridian

local good boy

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Jul 23, 2015

#2

I got my start writing romance. Then romance with a sex scene. Then romance with several sex scenes. Then romance with several kinky sex scenes.

I haven't started writing pure erotica yet. I doubt I will. I like where I'm at.

Do what you like. If you don't like romance and just want to write about sex, go for it.

anastasiareeves

That weird chick everyone ignores.

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Jul 23, 2015

#3

I am a newbie of a sort so take this advice with a grain of salt.

I started by, starting. I wrote a short story first just to see if I could. Then I posted it to a forum that had a lot of gay dudes on it, I write mostly M/M erotica, and they didn't hate it so I knew I was on a good track. I know that a lot of women enjoy M/M erotica, but I needed to know I was getting the gay sex and the gay relationships right, so, the gay guys were a good first barometer. Anyway bottom line is, I just wrote what I saw in my head even though it was embarrassing and nothing I had ever done before.

Other than that my advice is this: erotica is like any other genre but has a lot more sex. That is how I see it anyway. There are many writers who do not care about plot or character development, as long as the sex is good they feel like they've done it right. Find a good plot, write good characters, let them have sex.

c.m.n.

Beary cute ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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Jul 23, 2015

#4

I just started by writing a sex scene. So, yes, just do it!

But in all seriousness, there's really no magic to writing erotica. Basically, if you have a hot, erotic scene in mind, write it out. If it makes you horny, or it intrigues you more, build on it. You can go from there: are your characters potential romance partners, or not?

If not, no problem. Maybe they're just meeting and your MC is just learning about themselves through sex -- which is what erotica truly is. It's not necessarily about the sex, it's about what he/she has learned or experienced in the process. Romance is not a requirement to erotica.

kuwisdelu

Revolutionize the World

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Jul 23, 2015

#5

ErezMA said:
but tame enough to not cross a morale threshold.

What?

Is this like a guitarist learning to play rock music before he can delve into metal?

What?

Neither of those make any sense to me.

(And I think you mean "moral"; "morale" is something different."

Beachgirl

Not easily managed

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Jul 23, 2015

#6

My very first book was erotic romance, though I didn't intend for it to be when I started writing it. I had never written anything erotic before, not even a short scene, but when I started writing that book it just seemed to naturally flow in that direction. So for me, I didn't slowly work my way up to writing sex scenes, I jumped into the deep end.

Oh, and there *might* have been a very large and very strong vodka and Diet Coke consumed while writing that first sex scene.

ErezMA

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Jul 23, 2015

#7

kuwisdelu said:
What?

What?

Neither of those make any sense to me.

(And I think you mean "moral"; "morale" is something different."

I meant moral, yes. There is a moral threshold because a lot of erotica consumer love kinky sex. They want it, and they want it to hurt. They want to be brought to a new level. It seems easy to get caught up and then accidentally go to a point that someone gets offended and then a lot of people get scared. I haven't read 50 Shades of Grey, but I know a lot of people who have and they tell me about the taboo parts. There was one part that rubbed me the wrong way and it wasn't even the scene that a lot of people considered rape or abuse.

The other part of what I said is that I made an analogy where I juxtaposed romance and erotica to rock and metal. As a guitarist, you would play rock before metal because rock has a lot of more fundamental tactics with melodic patterns and basic chords. Metal has those, but you have a lot more advanced and fast-paced playing. I guessed that erotica has the elements of romance, but taken to a more advanced level.

ErezMA

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Jul 23, 2015

#8

Beachgirl said:
My very first book was erotic romance, though I didn't intend for it to be when I started writing it. I had never written anything erotic before, not even a short scene, but when I started writing that book it just seemed to naturally flow in that direction. So for me, I didn't slowly work my way up to writing sex scenes, I jumped into the deep end.

Oh, and there *might* have been a very large and very strong vodka and Diet Coke consumed while writing that first sex scene.

It seems as though you can get a kick out of writing, not just reading. ...so yes, just like any other genre.

c.m.n. said:
I just started by writing a sex scene. So, yes, just do it!

But in all seriousness, there's really no magic to writing erotica. Basically, if you have a hot, erotic scene in mind, write it out. If it makes you horny, or it intrigues you more, build on it. You can go from there: are your characters potential romance partners, or not?

If not, no problem. Maybe they're just meeting and your MC is just learning about themselves through sex -- which is what erotica truly is. It's not necessarily about the sex, it's about what he/she has learned or experienced in the process. Romance is not a requirement to erotica.

Just like how loving one another is not a requisite of screwing one another.

I actually tried this once. Not seriously, but as a joke. Two friends of mine used to date so I wrote a little blurb of them getting it on. I was just doing it to screw with them, and they told me, "This is actually good. Have you thought about doing this?" I never really took that to heart. I love to imagine stories but never start to write until recently. The thing with erotica, though, is that I never came up with erotica stories just by walking down the street I do with others.

anastasiareeves said:
I am a newbie of a sort so take this advice with a grain of salt.

I started by, starting. I wrote a short story first just to see if I could. Then I posted it to a forum that had a lot of gay dudes on it, I write mostly M/M erotica, and they didn't hate it so I knew I was on a good track. I know that a lot of women enjoy M/M erotica, but I needed to know I was getting the gay sex and the gay relationships right, so, the gay guys were a good first barometer. Anyway bottom line is, I just wrote what I saw in my head even though it was embarrassing and nothing I had ever done before.

Other than that my advice is this: erotica is like any other genre but has a lot more sex. That is how I see it anyway. There are many writers who do not care about plot or character development, as long as the sex is good they feel like they've done it right. Find a good plot, write good characters, let them have sex.

I find this actually interesting. I've read erotica a bit before. I don't read male homosexual erotica because I'm a straight male and don't happen to find it to be my kind of tea. I also found that they are mainly written by females. Have you ever seen a male write something like this before or even, dare I ask, a heterosexual male writing homosexual male erotica?

Viridian said:
I got my start writing romance. Then romance with a sex scene. Then romance with several sex scenes. Then romance with several kinky sex scenes.

I haven't started writing pure erotica yet. I doubt I will. I like where I'm at.

Do what you like. If you don't like romance and just want to write about sex, go for it.

I have no idea how I want to do this, but I should start exploring. (Double entendre not intended.) Thanks!

kuwisdelu

Revolutionize the World

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Jul 23, 2015

#9

ErezMA said:
I meant moral, yes. There is a moral threshold because a lot of erotica consumer love kinky sex. They want it, and they want it to hurt. They want to be brought to a new level. It seems easy to get caught up and then accidentally go to a point that someone gets offended and then a lot of people get scared. I haven't read 50 Shades of Grey, but I know a lot of people who have and they tell me about the taboo parts. There was one part that rubbed me the wrong way and it wasn't even the scene that a lot of people considered rape or abuse.

That many people are bothered about 50 Shades of Grey has absolutely nothing to do with the level of kink. Take all of the sex away and the main characters' relationship would still be unequal and disturbing.

The other part of what I said is that I made an analogy where I juxtaposed romance and erotica to rock and metal. As a guitarist, you would play rock before metal because rock has a lot of more fundamental tactics with melodic patterns and basic chords. Metal has those, but you have a lot more advanced and fast-paced playing. I guessed that erotica has the elements of romance, but taken to a more advanced level.

As someone who plays guitar (albeit I admit not very well), I disagree that you need to play any particular genre before playing the one you want to play.

They're all built from the same fundamentals, just like writing. Learn those fundamentals, and how they apply to your chosen genre.

You don't need to start with a genre you don't intend to write/play. That's silly.

anastasiareeves

That weird chick everyone ignores.

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Jul 23, 2015

#10

At the forum I was one of a handful (maybe 4,5) of straight females, and the only female writing in the section designated for it. All the other members, including the ones posting stories were gay men. I believe they were all writing their stories to impress each other and not for the purpose of being published, although at least one of them had an ongoing story that could have been, if he wanted that. I was not on the site for my writing, it is just where I got my start in M/M erotica.

In my opinion anyone can write anything they can imagine. I am not an angel, demon, superhero, male or out of the ordinary person but I am able to write all those things. If you can dream it up, you can write it.

The success of 50SoG is not a barometer of what is really popular in erotica. It may be the one everyone is talking about, but there are hundreds of others in the genre that have zero kinky sex in them.

Last edited: Jul 23, 2015

c.m.n.

Beary cute ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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Jul 23, 2015

#11

ErezMA said:
There is a moral threshold because a lot of erotica consumer love kinky sex. They want it, and they want it to hurt.

This is a misconception brought on by the fame of 50SoG. Though "kinky sex" is still popular, not all consumers want kinky, painful sex scenes. IMO, the whole genre is saturated with bdsm books. If you don't want to write these type of erotica stories, don't.

Viridian

local good boy

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Jul 23, 2015

#12

A lot of us m/m writers are queer women.

Just sayin'.

StoryofWoe

Sick and pale with grief.

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Jul 23, 2015

#13

I think the best way to enter any genre is to read it.

What qualifies as erotica varies widely. Everything from Anaïs Nin to Tiffany Reisz to dino-lovin' gets placed under the same umbrella. You're intrigued by erotica. What are some of your favorite titles and sub-genres? If you're looking for recommendations, I'm sure everyone here would be happy to make suggestions.

As for walking the tightrope and crossing moral thresholds, that really depends on whose definition of morality you're using. Again, erotica comes in many flavors and reading really is the best way to determine your tastes and limitations. Erotica need not be very explicit, though it often is. It's more about the subject matter, i.e. the sexual journey of a character or characters. How "naughty" you make your story is determined by your comfort level. You need not mention every single thrust or bodily secretion if you don't want to.

I started out writing erotica and then branched into erotic romance, though I'm sure you could approach it from the opposite direction. It really depends on the story you want to tell. What makes a story erotica vs. romance isn't heat level, though if you think you'd be more comfortable describing a kiss before, uh...other oral activities, then by all means, start with a sweet romance and work your way up (or down...

).

I highly suggest you check out The Joys of Writing Sex by Elizabeth Benedict if you're looking to make yourself more comfortable with writing sex scenes.

Albedo

Alex

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Jul 23, 2015

#14

kuwisdelu said:
And I think you mean "moral"; "morale" is something different."

'tho a demoralising (as opposed to just immoral) sex scene would be a fun challenge to write. One so transcendently terrible as to cause the reader to have second thoughts about this whole sex thing.

JulesJones

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Jul 24, 2015

#15

Viridian: back when some of us were trying to get m/m romance off the ground as a recognised sub-genre, we were using the slash fanfic description of "written by women, for women" to make the point that it wasn't just for gay men. It was amazing how many people insisted on turning that into "by straight women, for straight women". Apparently it was inconceivable to some people that not-straight women could be interested in reading/writing about two (or more) blokes slapping their bits together. Given how many bi, gay and ace women I know who hoover up m/m...

ErezMA

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Jul 24, 2015

#16

I agree with you guys. I haven't read the books, but I did see the movie in theaters. I honestly liked it. I didn't get why a lot of people were upset, and I still don't. Then again, I am 50 shades of fucked up.

Vegetarian Cannibal

I eat clowns.

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Jul 24, 2015

#17

StoryofWoe said:
I think the best way to enter any genre is to read it.

+1 The only way to enter ANY genre is to read lots and lots of it. Erotica is no exception.

I have a love-hate relationship with erotica, erotica publishers, and erotica writers. As a queer woman of color, I've found this genre rather traumatic to navigate through (at times.)

That said. IMO erotica is one of the easiest places to break in. Look hard enough, you'll find some publishers who'll accept just about anything--squick, included. The folks who write erotica (like myself) are a diverse bunch of writers, however, like any genre, there's a hierarchy. If you write anything other than heterosexual M/F or M/M for straight (white) women, prepare to look for a long, long, long, time for readers/publishers.

If you want to write erotica, just do it. It's a great way to start. However, I advise you NOT to stay longterm unless you're a M/M and M/F writer.

Viridian

local good boy

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Jul 24, 2015

#18

JulesJones said:
Viridian: back when some of us were trying to get m/m romance off the ground as a recognised sub-genre, we were using the slash fanfic description of "written by women, for women" to make the point that it wasn't just for gay men. It was amazing how many people insisted on turning that into "by straight women, for straight women"

I didn't know that.

I know queer women only make up 5% of the female population, but we are goddamn everywhere in the m/m market.

anastasiareeves

That weird chick everyone ignores.

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Jul 24, 2015

#19

Being a straight female who writes M/M erotica I am often asked why I write about two dudes. I do not have a good answer for it. I just do.

But. I think that one of the reasons I have stuck with the genre is that the hetero porn and erotica I have been exposed to is very "I am man, I fuck you, you lay there and act like you like it" and I feel gross after seeing/reading it. The idea of two men together brings me a feeling of equal footing. That's how I write it, anyway. I know gay relationships can be just as unequal. I also know that I could write M/F as equal. I just like writing two dudes better.

Tora Uran

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Jul 24, 2015

#20

Count me in as another straight woman that writes M/M erotica, though I would not have an issue with writing any other kind of pairing. I do have a friend that is a lesbian also writes M/M and enjoys reading it a lot too.

But I got my writing start with fanfic and M/M fics were always popular in the fandom circles I was/am a part of. So it just seemed natural to move to writing original fiction for M/M pairings as that was what I had the most experience with.

Back to the original topic of the thread the best way to know if you can is to simply try it. If you enjoy writing it then go for it, if not then perhaps another genre would be to your taste.

WriterDude

Writer?

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Jul 26, 2015

#21

OP said:
How to know if you can even write erotica.

Have a go. It's the only way. I would be wary though, of one piece of advice you'll pick up here and there about erotica, that plot and character is as important as any other genre.

I followed that advice when I started my tale of two misfits getting it on. I was meant to be adding a little interest to endear them to the reader but I took it too far, and now everyone has an agenda, no one can be trusted and someone needs to save the world.

All well good, but for the frigid erotica characters that won't budge now until the curtains are drawn.

That is how I learned that I couldn't write erotica.

Filigree

Mildly Disturbing

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Jul 26, 2015

#22

No, it just sounds like you wrote a book with a plot, and not a loose collection of sex scenes. It may not be 'erotica' as you see the genre...but it's probably marketable in another genre.

JulesJones

Super Member

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Jul 26, 2015

#23

Vegetarian Cannibal, thank you for providing in this very thread an example of the mindset that m/m is only written for/by straight women.

I started putting together some notes on m/m for women in my LiveJournal some years ago. The main post itself touches on the appeal for bi/gay women, but there's some detailed discussion in the comment thread, including reference to the appeal for asexual women, and for straight men (although some of this is not obvious if you don't have the context and assumed background knowledge for the discussion).

I started by writing fanfic, and the fanfic was by and large not romantic. (To the point where I'm sure some of the members of my fandom fell off their chairs laughing at the idea of me getting pro-published as a romance author.) Shortly thereafter I started writing erotica, and erotic sf. My first pro sales were of erotica. The erotic romance came after that. I also came out of a fandom where even the straight men (or some of them, at least) would read m/m and female gaze f/f, and some of them even wrote it. Good stuff, too; good enough to garner a FanQ nomination, in one case. So material can have broader appeal than a lot of people think, and there is no one true path to learning how to write erotica. You don't even have to have read a lot of it, although reading a lot of it does help you hone your craft.

V.W. Singer

Registered

Jul 27, 2015

#24

If you don't feel comfortable about writing erotica, don't do it. Just like any other genre, it needs passion to be good. There is no "balance" to be maintained. You go where the story needs to go. Self censorship never works. And if your concern about what others will think about you for writing erotica is greater than your desire to do so, then don't.

As for M/M, there seems to be really two sub-genres. The most popular at the moment is what I call fantasy m/m, which is written by women for women and portrays gay men as being the way the women would like them to be.

I have several gay male friends writing m/m and their work often disturbs the female m/m fans because it portrays the men more realistically.

dangerousbill

Retired Illuminatus

Super Member

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Aug 12, 2015

#25

ErezMA said:
...but this isn't kids play.

Sure it is. Most good sex is play...well, maybe not for kids. But I think you're taking yourself too seriously. You should try writing some and see how it looks. You don't have to tell anyone, or show it to anyone until, or unless, you're ready. Start by reading some and see what subgenre floats your boat.

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