Over-writing and under-writing at the same time?

SianaBlackwood · Jul 15, 2015

My work is simultaneously over-written and under-written. Sort of true. It's hard to explain.

There's always a whole lot of pointless chatter and going from place to place that really should be cut, but at the same time not much of the underlying idea seems to make it onto the page. I write the little moments of characterisation and the biggest moments of 'save the world', but I feel like it all happens in a void. I'm writing all the wrong bits and so I end up with a novel-length draft that's mostly filler, but seems to cover the events of an entire series.

So I think what I'm saying is that the story is sort of missing the middle layer? Does that make sense? It's like I'm sort of skimming over the important events rather than digging right into them.

For my current WIP (on its third draft), I have a synopsis that explains how the new version of the story is supposed to go. Trying to jump from that to what actually needs to change on a scene-by-scene basis... not really happening. I just don't seem to be able to connect the idea with the characters.

My idea is that I should be able to go from a synopsis that explains my new vision for the story to shifting the story into the right shapes, but there's a whole set of between synopsis and new draft that I haven't managed to pick up. I'm starting to think I'm just not smart enough or not educated enough to be able to put together a proper novel. How come 'fix the biggest problems first' seems to be such an easy thing for everyone else? They make it sound like you just read through the draft and make a neat little list of bullet points, only when I try that I just get a pile of vague impressions of wrongness.

Yeah... I don't know. I'm trying to be more specific than 'my story sucks and I can't follow any of these 'how to edit' methods the internet talks about', but I think I've just waffled around and I only really need this last bit.

Siana, confused.

Layla Nahar · Jul 16, 2015

Have you tried SYW?

SianaBlackwood · Jul 16, 2015

I've posted beginnings a couple of times. The feedback I've received has mostly been about low-level stuff like filtering and the details of how characters react to things, although a bit of conversation on the second piece made me think 'rewrite from scratch' was the only way forward.

Fruitbat · Jul 16, 2015

Let's face it, writing is hard. It takes lots and lots and lots of practice to get it right.

Are you showing rather than telling? By that I mean are you writing in current, onstage scenes? If you have too much "telling" (say, the difference between us reading about the MC at a party vs. reading like us summarizing or explaining that party to us second hand) like, "and then she went here and did that, and she had always felt like..." that can make the story seem like it's not quite paying attention to itself.

Also, you might try having someone read it out loud to you while you just listen. Stop and cross out dialogue, backstory etcetera whenever it sounds unlikely or boring.

And then why not run the whole thing through SYW a chapter at a time. When you agree with corrections, go through and make those changes in the rest of the book before posting the next chapter. All those little things aren't really just low level details imo. The story is made up of low level details, they're what make it ring true or not and bring it to life. And of course when you do your crits for others you learn just as much. Which sounds untrue but absolutely is true. Others see what you missed in your work and you see what others missed in their work (and can then apply that to your own work).

Or, since you've already been through this one a few times, write another one. I've heard several people say that three's the charm, that they've learned enough from all the struggling with the first two that it finally all comes together then. Just anecdotal of course, but something to think about.

Or, look up the seven plot points, the Marshall Plan for novel writing, or storyboard method. Plug your plot in and see if you find any big gaps.

Then again, don't listen to me because thus far I've done much better with short stories and nonfiction than novels myself.

Jamesaritchie · Jul 16, 2015

Maybe this won't help you, but it helps me. Think before you write a sentence, or a paragraph. Think hard. Decide whether each belongs, whether it's filler, or filtering, before writing it. If it is, then don't write it.

When you finish a page, go back to the top of that page and read it again. Eliminate anything and everything that's filler, that's filtering, or that just doesn't go along with necessary description, required exposition, story and/or character. Then write the page again. Rinse and repeat until the page contains nothing that shouldn't be there.

It sounds like you know the basics of what you're doing wrong, and consciously thinking about such things every sentence of the way is the best way I've found to put in what a story needs, and to leave out what it doesn't.

krinaphobia · Jul 16, 2015

When you posted in SYW, did you ask this specific question? People over there are usually good about answering direct questions.

I do get what you mean about feeling your missing something, but it's going to be difficult to speculate about what's going on there and what might help you without seeing some of your work. Other people here have already give you some great advice, but I'll add my two cents: you seem very aware of the problem you have in your writing, and that awareness is what proceeds a breakthrough. I'm sure everyone on this site has felt moments of sheer frustration with shortcomings in their writing, so please don't feel discouraged!

If you decide to post in SYW again, PM me and I will be sure to take a look and give what feedback I can!!

chompers · Jul 16, 2015

To me it sounds like you just lack clarity. Ask yourself with each sentence what is its purpose? What does it accomplish? Does it move the story forward? If you were to remove it, would it make the story confusing? What do you need to add to make it not confusing?

rwm4768 · Jul 16, 2015

I also overwrite and underwrite at the same time. That's why a lot of my novels don't experience much change in the word count during revisions. I cut excess words and scenes, but I also add description or flesh out necessary scenes.

Isilya · Jul 16, 2015

rwm4768 said:
I also overwrite and underwrite at the same time. That's why a lot of my novels don't experience much change in the word count during revisions. I cut excess words and scenes, but I also add description or flesh out necessary scenes.

+1

Yup me too.

Over-writing and under-writing at the same time?

SianaBlackwood

Layla Nahar

Seashell Seller

SianaBlackwood

Fruitbat

.

Jamesaritchie

krinaphobia

chompers

rwm4768

practical experience, FTW

Isilya

Rogues, thieves, and knaves abound