I couldn't make this up

Because it would be too implausible.

Today I was feeling really ropey at work. Had lunch and felt worse. Managed to make it to the toilets in time to be sick. Felt marginally better.

Went back to my desk. Saw I had an email in my writing folder. Thought, this will cheer me up, maybe my story got accepted. (I suffer from incurable optimism syndrome).

Of course it didn't. Instead I got my first rejection.

Go home, wallowing in self pity because I can't have one of the pre-mixed pina coladas I bought specifically in case my story got rejected. (Rejection + pina coladas doesn't beat acceptance, but it beats sober rejection by a mile. At least, so I assumed. I didn't get the chance to find out yet.)

Then I get a call from my mum. My grandmother died.

I just want to curl into a ball. I feel like if I leave any soft bits exposed today will find another way to pummel me.

Thank you, well today was also my first virtual hug! So it has something going for it.

The story rejection and the death were both things I was braced for, but in some ways it doesn't help a whole lot.

Thankfully there was no pain for her at all. She didn't know what was happening, and the hospital and care home staff looked after her really well. For the last couple of years the person she was had been eaten away by dementia. She didn't just not know who people were, she didn't know if they were men or women or adults or children, and she couldn't communicate things she needed or wanted. It's still sad, but in many ways I feel she died two years ago. Her body was so strong it just kept going.

And on a more cheerful note you're right, I do need to keep submitting. It's just sad to imagine someone reading my story and not liking it. Maybe he'd already got a story about a space shuttle toilet engineer under his belt and felt two would be too many.

Maryn said:

I don't do virtual hugs. Instead, I do the virtual chair massage. Please pin your hair out of the way as needed while I put on some nice meandering spa music. Meet you at the chair.

Maryn, flexing her hands

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That sounds fantastic, Maryn. Exactly what I need. And another first for today!

It's really nice to hear that other people have had horrible clumps like this too and got through it. When it's happening it can feel like Fate is cackling and aiming things straight for you.

Safe for a while... ha. I think I'll avoid even thinking that!

A Victoria Sandwich is a cake made with flour, eggs, butter and sugar. You bake it in two halves (both round) and then coat one half with jam and one with buttercream and stick them together. It's different from a true sponge cake because it contains fat, which makes it taste great and also much more easy to cook (and also easier to teach in school, which is where I learned to bake). I guess the closest thing in the US might be the taste of plain sheet cake? If you stuck two of those together with jam and buttercream you'd get the general idea. Apparently it was the favourite cake of Queen Victoria, thus the name.

My Victoria Sandwich recipe never failed me until I went out to the US, where I was 7000 feet and so the rising process was completely and utterly different to what I was used to. My first attempt tried to escape from the baking tin, and the second collapsed. As soon as I came back to the UK I could bake them again (but it doesn't really make up for all the things I miss about the states).

Sure - if I FedEx it, it should arrive within a week having been dropped in the ocean and been run over by a truck. It brings out the flavour.

But seriously, that's a good idea. I find baking very relaxing and therapeutic. Tomorrow though, as now it is time for bed.

ErezMA said:

Some days just absolutely blow, and the, "It can't get worse from here!" just don't do much for you. With that said, I'm sorry for your loss.

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Well, it's the first time I've ever shared anything like this with a forum, and the support really has made a difference. It made what would have been an absolutely awful day into an awful day with a bright point in it.