The Daily Rejection, Vol. 2

File this under Journey's "Don't Stop Believing."

I started my NF book more than seven years ago. It took a lot of time, effort and rewriting (like all books do). I had one agent and one day he emailed me with "great news!" I was so excited and emailed and called for two days with no response. Finally, he gets back to me. "I decided to fulfill a life-long dream and get OUT of agenting and work for a local nonprofit! I'm so excited." (Imagine how I felt...)

After a lot of work, I got another agent who got me a couple offers. one for a library edition, which I declined. Then Simon and Schuster, but they wanted to tone done the religious aspect of the book and refused to include photos, both of which are key to the story. So we turned them down. And then a religious publisher wanted the book but said to remove all the explicit sexual abuse and language and no photos. Since I really wanted this for a mainstream audience (and people of faith), we turned them down.

Then THAT agent decide to retire! Ugh! But I fully believed in the story and knew I had a responsibility to the people whose story I told, so I pressed on. Some agents were interested (and AW is great for vetting as we know!), but didn't have the "passion" I knew was needed. And as we all know, many of the agents ask for the proposal and then...silence. Even after a follow-up, silence. Which, like dating, means no, but at least "no" means no!

So I started reaching out to indies who often don't require agents. And Freethought House (atheists!) loved the proposal, "got" the importance of the story, wanted to use photos and illustrations from the cult (eventually used more than 50) and while we edited and cut content, the religious side of the story is clear as well as the horrific abuse that occurred. I still love the irony--as do the former cult members--that an atheist publisher would take on this book!

With many of the larger publishers, you get input but maybe not final say with the cover they create. With Freethought, I rejected the first cover and they said, "Well, we have this other cover..." which I thought told the story perfectly in one image: 1960s/`70s Rock & Roll/Jesus Movement/Cult. All I suggested was changing the type face to a 60s/70s font, which they did but went further, using the font from the cult's first album. It was perfect. This was the book as I always imagined it, from the cover to the content to all the images included.

Two final pieces of good news:

First, during all those years of writing and re-writing and interviewing people, I reached out to three extraordinary editors, who helped me reshape the book, cut the dross, add in what was missing, etc. Having those objective voices is key as we all know. The publisher had an exceptional copy editor and another editor gave it a read for content, so by the time it was published, it was the best it could be.

Second, Hollywood came calling and a reputable film agent (projects for Tom Cruse [ironic!], Ryan Gosling) loved the book and is shopping it as either a feature film or mini-series. I know Hollywood grinds very slowly, but it's a great validation of all those years of hard work.

Finally, the book received great reviews and blurbs (those are like Christmas presents!) and I want to share something with everyone that helped me over those seven years of rejection, agents quitting, and re-writes: Make friends with authors and experts in your field NOW so when you need the blurbs, you're not suddenly begging them for favors, you already have a relationship. My publisher was thrilled when I was able to get more than 25 blurbs by bestselling authors, musicians (both mainstream and in Jesus Music), and cult experts. I had exchanged emails with these people for years so when I needed the blurbs, most all rose to the occasion. (I sent out about 200 requests, 60 said they would, 25 came through, and I have about 10 that still plan to by end of September.)

SO NEVER GIVE UP. If you have a passion for your project, you won't give up. If you don't have that passion, then set aside that book and start one that you do have a passion for. And while those rejections are piling up, be certain to be reaching out to authors and experts in your field and support them and their efforts, and then one day when you are seeking out blubs and endorsement, you'll have a huge list of people who will congratulate you and be happy to write something great about you and your book.

I hope this helps at least one of you! Good luck! And to quote Flashdance: "Take your passion and make it happen!"

John, what a great story! Congrats to you and good luck!

Australian River - glad your headaches are getting better.

Nova - I have a few emails from friends that have read my work and said good things, that I re-read when I'm down. And when I got that R&R email from the agent, it went to the top of that stack. Also, I'm glad you mentioned sending out more queries after you send back the R&R. I was planning to do that myself, but for some reason had the idea in my head that I should wait, like the R&R agent has some kind of exclusive on the rewrite. But logically that makes no sense. I have a few other agents lined up to shoot queries to once this is ready to go.

About 45 pages to go in the draft, and my pen has been bleeding ALL OVER this printout. Finding some typos that I suspect had been there a while too. Ugh. Also trimmed and tightened up a scene, which makes me a little nervous since the novel's short to begin with. We'll have to see how it all shakes out. It's another rainy day today here in Florida, we're throwing a beef stew in the crock pot, so it'll be a good day to write.

Happy Sunday, everyone.

John- thank you for sharing that wonderful story (and the courage to turn down offers you felt weren't good for your work). we need these types of things on the rejection board here and there.

Jeneral: So when I got my R&R the immediate impulse was that I had to be faithful to that agent and not shop it around more. I really respect that she saw enough in the first version that it gave me confidence that should she one day be my agent, she might have faith in future works that were also not so well developed yet. This all may be true, but the bottom line is I got an R&R not an offer, and she openly stated she risked someone else picking up the book as is by issuing me just a R&R. So it's kind of a non-loyalty clause; she was willing to gamble me away. Particularly as women, we have to be careful not to box ourselves or sell ourselves short. In my head I can't let a false concept of loyalty prevent me from landing a good-fit agent (and by all means I really like this agent if it works out!). In my case I want to be sure I at least have a few other ones to consider to force myself to be open to options and not driven by emotions that don't work in my benefit. I made myself do a more detailed search on query agent as I was just doing the ones from the beginning of the alphabet. I should probably stop now with ten queries out plus the partials and fulls, in the event my new pitch isn't working. In an unhappy scenario I get an offer from someone I'm not entirely convinced about, I can email any new agents I feel strongly about.
Yes, fan letters and words from friends do wonders for the hurt ego... Good luck with your edits-Moonchild gave me good advice encouraging me to find a copy edit beta reader for the final, final version.

It's a new week!! On my to-do list:
- write a short story for an upcoming submission call
- work through six more chapters of MS5 with my "deep revision"
- read first half of MS3
- read a recent MG novel

re: vlogging
I'm one of those people that rarely watches video content. There's a few movie review channels on YouTube that Husband & I watch after the kiddos are in bed (ScreenJunkies, CinemaSins, Jeremy Jahns), but other than that, my online time is so sporadic and often-interrupted and a-minute-here-and-there that I can't sit down to watch a video, even if it is only 3-5 minutes. Like Roxxsmom said, I'd rather click on an article and skim for the info I need.

Hope everyone has a fabulous week! Fingers crossed for our #PitchWars hopefuls!

Jeff,

A heartfelt congratulations to you!! This is so motivating and I feel more inspired today because of it. Best wishes to you on your project!!

Thanks for the feedback everyone! Do keep on keeping on, and I know that while I was in the midst of rejection hell o or waiting hell, being proactive by contacting other writers really DID help me so I hope it encourages others.

Best,
Jeff

I consider Sunday the end of the week rather than the beginning, but my to-do list is just as daunting when you consider I start classes and a new job this week:
- finish my short story (I think it'll clock in at 6-7k, which is shorter than I thought it would be when I started)
- finish the first editing pass on Devin's book
- 1000 words a day of Alex's book
- submit one of my old shorts to this place that takes reprints (I used to put all my shorts on my Tumblr, which makes them all virtually unpublishable now, so I was thrilled to find a paying specfic magazine that takes reprints)

I also need to get a synopsis of Devin's book together so I can start querying more widely, and get a new list of agents whose agencies I didn't query for my now-blissfully-trunked novel. I'm a little scared to post the query and/or synopsis of Devin's book on SYW (I prefer betas personally), but I'm seriously worried about the synopsis if I don't.

Nova Odyssey said:

John- thank you for sharing that wonderful story (and the courage to turn down offers you felt weren't good for your work). we need these types of things on the rejection board here and there.

Jeneral: So when I got my R&R the immediate impulse was that I had to be faithful to that agent and not shop it around more. I really respect that she saw enough in the first version that it gave me confidence that should she one day be my agent, she might have faith in future works that were also not so well developed yet. This all may be true, but the bottom line is I got an R&R not an offer, and she openly stated she risked someone else picking up the book as is by issuing me just a R&R. So it's kind of a non-loyalty clause; she was willing to gamble me away. Particularly as women, we have to be careful not to box ourselves or sell ourselves short. In my head I can't let a false concept of loyalty prevent me from landing a good-fit agent (and by all means I really like this agent if it works out!). In my case I want to be sure I at least have a few other ones to consider to force myself to be open to options and not driven by emotions that don't work in my benefit. I made myself do a more detailed search on query agent as I was just doing the ones from the beginning of the alphabet. I should probably stop now with ten queries out plus the partials and fulls, in the event my new pitch isn't working. In an unhappy scenario I get an offer from someone I'm not entirely convinced about, I can email any new agents I feel strongly about.
Yes, fan letters and words from friends do wonders for the hurt ego... Good luck with your edits-Moonchild gave me good advice encouraging me to find a copy edit beta reader for the final, final version.

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Nova, I'd also recommend that if you have any dream agents and you feel like your ms is the strongest you can get it, to query them now. I totally get what you mean about feeling a sense of loyalty to the agent that saw potential in you early on, but as you mentioned she didn't take you off the market and she knows there's a risk someone else will jump at the chance to agent you. If you do get an offer from that agent, then you'll be able to follow up with all the other agents you've queried. I can say from my experience that while you may think the answer is clear, your views may change once you hear back from other agents and how they viewed your ms. Good luck!

Jeff - great story and congratulations!

Re: vlogging
While I do enjoy watching some videos, I tend to favor written content too. Or at the very least, a combo. And for videos, I second the recommendation for keeping it punchy and short.

Busy revising today after getting comments from my agent and some betas. Hope everyone has a great week!

Jeff, thank you for sharing the story!

Wendy and JetFueledCar, you guys are amazing with your to-do lists. Maybe I don't write all that fast because I don't set myself goals!

I finished writing up my MC's childhood this weekend. It was a lot of fun, actually. Now I have to segue that into his meeting (finally!) with the FMC. (There are two timelines, and he's met her in the "present" timeline already; he just has to meet her in the "past" timeline now.) Shouldn't be too hard . . .

Thanks for sharing your story, Jeff. And congratulations.

Nova Odyssey said:

Australian River- yes I have other queries, partials and fulls out. I send more when rejects roll in. I'm trying to be in the situation you describe.

Sorry about out your migraines- I'm not a doc, but be careful when mixing Chinese herbs and western med- def tell your doctor about the mix as both can be powerful and essentially by taking both you are making a new med inside you. I wish you relief, I know how debilitating migraines are.

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Thanks Nova Odyssey. The Chinese doctor knows exactly what meds I'm taking, and I've told my normal doctor I use Chinese medicine. The funny thing is I'm only getting 1 half of a migraine. I've always had them and they start with sensory disruption such as numbing and feeling disorientated, then all this is followed by a massive headache. For the past 3 weeks, I've been getting wave after wave of all this BUT without the headache component. It leaves me shaken and I can't really work when this happens as it goes on for hours, but at least I can't describe the feeling as pain.

This week was kinda rough. Fall semester classes started and I realized that with my course load, I probably won't be able to get as much writing done as I'd hoped.

Last weekend I also started querying for a book that I've lived and breathed for several years. I rewrote the whole darn thing. Went through a few rounds of beta readers. Perfected my query. When school was fast approaching, and with some final revisions needing to be hammered out, I spent two crazy weeks reading the whole thing aloud, every night, to my wife before I started to query again.

Then throughout this week, I was treated to three form rejections. It was infuriating, disheartening, and beyond frustrating.

This was me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EctIWTjepmM

Anyway, yesterday a little full request sneaked into my inbox. I envisioned I'd be blown out of my chair when I got a request again, like in 2013 when I originally started to query this book. But I was very calm, so calm that my wife thought something was wrong with me. I told her, "I believe in this book so much that I expect to get requests."

I definitely feel I've grown as a writer. I've kinda developed a I-don't-give-a-damn attitude because I think my book is great. Something tastes different about querying this time. Back in 2013, I think I was so absorbed with hoping my book was good that I didn't really know if my book was good.

Keep at it everyone, keep working. And believe in your work if you want it to succeed. If you don't believe in it, then why are you checking your email every five seconds? Why are you spending hours researching agents?

Believe.

If you don't, move on to your next project.

It's 7 p.m., I've spent most of the day in front of the computer, and I never got out of my pajamas today, but I made it through to the end of my MS. Something like 80 pages this weekend? Isn't that what I said? Hard copy now has notes scribbled in margins and on the backs of pages, and next is going back and trying to read my writing as I type it all in. We're going away next weekend for Labor Day, which we are treating as a kind of creative retreat for his photography and my writing, so I anticipate getting this draft finished by this time next week. Whew. Celebratory pizza has been ordered, and I'm going to crash on the couch with some Netflix and some cider.

for your full , utesfanami!

Jeneral, way to go! enjoy the milestone.

AR--Sounds like A-typical migraines. I've had migraines for 25 years. All of sudden last year, in a high-stress year, they changed. I got jaw pain, ear pain, shooting nerve pains in my gums, and this very tender feeling in my temples. And usually I would get them without the standard migraine pain. It's annoying, and I get it every so often now when I'm extra stressed, and is often worse than the regular migraine. I feel your pain.
PS I sent you an e-mail.

Ow, AR, sorry you're still having trouble.

Good job on finishing your manuscript, Jeneral!

My thousand words of Null have been written, my chapter of Devin's book has been edited, I didn't touch my short but what are you gonna do, and I sent out another query for Devin's book. I'm hoping it takes a few days to get back to me. Like, two weeks. That'll light a fire under my butt to get the synopsis done so I can query more widely.

Jeneral said:

It's 7 p.m., I've spent most of the day in front of the computer, and I never got out of my pajamas today, but I made it through to the end of my MS. Something like 80 pages this weekend? Isn't that what I said? Hard copy now has notes scribbled in margins and on the backs of pages, and next is going back and trying to read my writing as I type it all in. We're going away next weekend for Labor Day, which we are treating as a kind of creative retreat for his photography and my writing, so I anticipate getting this draft finished by this time next week. Whew. Celebratory pizza has been ordered, and I'm going to crash on the couch with some Netflix and some cider.

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Good for you. I, on the other hand, have found it increasingly hard to focus and am getting more and more stuck on how to get the opening two chapters for this new story to hang together. Beginning to think I should just skip the opening and come back after I've written more of the thing. Sometimes inspiration hits me later on.

Mostly, I'm feeling grumpy and ambivalent about my writing and ideas lately. There's so much conflicting information out there about what's appropriate and marketable and what isn't, I'm not even sure this idea is a good one or not.

krashnburn said:

AR--Sounds like A-typical migraines. I've had migraines for 25 years. All of sudden last year, in a high-stress year, they changed. I got jaw pain, ear pain, shooting nerve pains in my gums, and this very tender feeling in my temples. And usually I would get them without the standard migraine pain. It's annoying, and I get it every so often now when I'm extra stressed, and is often worse than the regular migraine. I feel your pain.
PS I sent you an e-mail.

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Thanks Krash. I've replied to your email. What sort of treatment did you get? I've had this A-typical migraine constantly for 3 weeks with varying intensity (today was bad). Doctor is trying a number of things but nothing is getting ride of it.

Thanks for that story Jeff. Hope all you other YA writers are making progress. I'm closing in on 76,000 words with my portal fantasy sequel. I'm on the last chapter and my ghostbuster team are climbing a 2,000 ft mountain, the last of their journey's end. I have to make this extremely tough for them, they're on their last legs. I keep thinking about Sam getting Frodo up the mountain and the soulful emotions that went with it. If I can capture that mood and desperation, I'm home free.

Australian River said:

Thanks Krash. I've replied to your email. What sort of treatment did you get? I've had this A-typical migraine constantly for 3 weeks with varying intensity (today was bad). Doctor is trying a number of things but nothing is getting ride of it.

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At this point in my life, I don't take anything. I was on tons of drugs when I was younger--antidepressants, anti-epilepsy, etc. All things that I didn't need, but that had migraine prevention as a side effect. Unfortunately, I experienced all the other side-effects and hated how I felt on them, so I stopped. Then I took some migraine specific stuff (Maxalt, Imitrex (sp?)). They worked, but when I went for a refill, doc said those drugs were never meant to be taken as much as I took them and refused to refill and tried to get me back on antidepressants. I'd rather have the migraine sometimes than feel like a slug all the time. Both times I was pregnant, I was migraine free the whole time. Both times I was done, my headache profile changed. These days, it's possible for me to curtail the migraine with a cup of coffee and some Aleve, if I'm lucky. Others, if I can just rest for an hour, it'll go away. For the A-typical ones, I found a heating pad on my face felt great, and when I finally stopped stressing about them, they went away (I know, easier said than done). Doc I went to for that wanted to put me on antidepressants again...blech. He also wanted to try Botox, which has a good rate of success for those facial pains, but my insurance didn't cover it and it was $$$. I've done biofeedback, which does crap for the pain, but does help put me to sleep when it's bad. There is a drug, Anaprox DS, a coworker has that is something like 550mg Naproxin (what's in Aleve) and she gave me one one day and my migraine was gone in 20min with NO side effects--first time I've ever taken anything without at least feeling nauseous for a bit. Flipping awesome. Under our insurance, 30 pills is like $160, which is a lot, but I've been considering going back to the doc for it, to have something for those horrible days where I really NEED to function--like the day I moved, when I got a horrible stress one and didn't even have an unpacked chair to sit on.

Jeneral, congrats on getting through that draft, and I hope your creative retreat goes well.

Krash and A.R., I (kind of) feel your pain. I get occasional migraines, usually fairly inexplicably. Sometimes, I go through what ought to be a very stressful situation, and I'm fine. Other times, I end up with a throbbing head, completely weak, with fuzzy thoughts. It used to be that this was accompanied by vision issues that I kind of ignored, but at least now I have medicine for my eyes! I haven't had problems with blurred vision since then, though the headaches and weakness definitely still come on.

Hey gang,

Thanks for the hugs and sympathy. Not much to add, really. Inbox is back to its usual cricket-infested state, and I keep on trucking on my WIP revision. I go on vacation in three weeks, so I'm really hoping I'll be done with this particular rewrite well before that. It's just about the hardest re-write I've ever put myself through. I don't know if it's because it's hard in and of itself, or because I'm just not in the greatest frame of mind, not having been able to fully let go of the story and characters in the MS I'm currently querying. Knowing I have fulls out there and that some others have been rejected, is both disheartening and stressful. Like some of you guys, I go back to my positive comments and my beta emails to remind myself that my book doesn't actually suck.

I'll do my best to catch up, but I'm in a funny head space, so apologies if I've missed anything/anyone.

krash - Sorry about the 'pass.'

LGG - Good luck with the vlogging thing! It's awesome that your agent believes in you so much, but quite personally, I'm with Nova and Angeliz and Jeneral: the idea of vlogging is also terrifying for me. It's one thing to keep a blog and/or website, and be active on social media and whatnot, but... vlogging scares me. Good luck, though! Let us know when you've posted your first vid! (And, like others have said, do keep it short and sweet. Personally, I'm with everyone who said they prefer written content.)

Netz - Belated happy birthday! And sorry about the R!

Australian River - Hope your migraines dissolve! What a horrible drag.

Jeff C. Stevenson - And thanks for sharing your amazing journey.

Angeliz - Yay on making progress on your WIP!

utesfanami - Sorry about the Rs, but congrats on the full!

Jeneral - Your Sunday sounds dreamy to me! Congrats on making it through the whole MS! Enjoy your creative retreat of sorts with your hubs next weekend!

Australian River said:

I can understand that it makes you angry...but I almost feel like if an agent doesn't even bother to respond to fulls he/she wouldn't be a 'human' I'd like to make a writing career with, if you know what I mean.

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Oh, I totally agree. Needless to say, I didn't query her with my current MS, nor would I ever query her again. I don't know about not being 'human,' but I totally get what you mean. For me, I just find it incredibly RUDE, and that's why it makes me so angry when agents don't respond to fulls AT ALL. I don't only mean this one agent in particular, but I seriously wouldn't want to be associated with any agent who doesn't have the professional courtesy to at least send a quick note and say, "Hey, I won't have time to read this after all. Sorry and good luck." Easy, shorter than a form R and at least it doesn't leave people hanging.

Anyhooo... Back to deal with some other stuff, then to tackle that re-write. I have about 1/4 of the original Draft Zero to get through.

Have any of you tried physical therapy or airrosti? My deal was facial pain rather than migraines, but I found that doctors will only ever think to prescribe drugs to treat symptoms. Airrosti was what fixed it, though. As I recall, they also talk about treating migraines.

I only have one query out right now because everyone else I want to query demands a synopsis. As a result I jump every time my phone announces a new email and go "Please don't be a rejection, please don't be a rejection..."