What's the best way to display intensity when writing?

Adversary said:

Jesus Christ... I thought I was wordy...

This is from that book made into a Tom Cruise movie, yes? Obviously popular then. I have no idea about it, but i do remember reading about the reader backlash when lil Tom was cast in the role.

Is the whole book like this?

Click to expand...

Different book - that was One Shot. I've read it and no, it's not like that.

Then there's always: The gunman kicks open the door, the glass shatters, and he screams, "Down on the floor. Everyone. Now! And you, behind the counter, gimme the ice cream. All of it!"

monkey44 said:

Then there's always: The gunman kicks open the door, the glass shatters, and he screams, "Down on the floor. Everyone. Now! And you, behind the counter, gimme the ice cream. All of it!"

Click to expand...

Would read on. Gotta find out what happens to that ice cream.

When I'm writing a tense scene, especially with lots of dialogue, I find nothing's better than reading it aloud and almost acting out the scene. Anything I stumble over or any sentence that sounds fake, I rework until it conveys the right intensity/emotion. This often leads to leaning out of my sentences.

monkey44 said:

Then there's always: The gunman kicks open the door, the glass shatters, and he screams, "Down on the floor. Everyone. Now! And you, behind the counter, gimme the ice cream. All of it!"

Click to expand...

This needs exploring. Do we find out what kind of ice cream? Details!